Surprise and Smile! You’re Going To Die!

I’d never known how the outside world looks like. I am a plain kid, kind of nerd and the son to the wealthiest man of the country. I lived in a big mansion – deep inside the forest where I could only see the sky, trees and the gates that is guarding the whole place. I was never allowed to leave the house since the day I was born into the world. My dad told me that I don’t need to go to school because my father will sent me a private teacher. My only entertainment is book. I love to read book, good things that I’m a bookworm so I felt that my life is completely perfect. Well just for your information I don’t take cheap exams for example the examinations from school. In short, I’m a brilliant student. My room is full with certificates that are going to help me in the future. My name is Kiyoshi Ediquate Shinha.

One evening my mind was fraught to know about the outside world. Impatiently, I asked my private teacher about it.

In my innocent tone, I asked her “Ayako, how do the outside world look like?”
“It’s the first time you asked me about that Sir since the first day of my arrival here. It’s been 5 years and it bothers me so much to see someone who is so young, so handsome, provided with wealth and luxury also brilliant in everything never have an interest in outside world.” He said.
“Aww don’t you think that the compliments is a lil bit too much Hizaki? It’s just a question. My mind was full with that question until it made my brain to stop from thinking. You see, I’m trying to get rid of it. Anyway could you tell me about it?”
“As you wish Sir…” she smiled. “Do you know animals? Nevermind, just imagine a sheep. I bet you know how a sheep looks like. Well you could see a lot of sheep flying over the town especially houses. I think the minimum is 4 sheep”
Stupidly, believing in what she said, I imagined the flying sheep around my house. “Hey how come there is no flying sheep around my house?”
“Haha silly you sir, you’ve been tricked” her tongue was out while she was saying this. The she continued “Well in outside world you could see a lot of places that you would never expect to see. There is a playground, parks, shopping center where you could buy something, meet up some friends. Having fun with them. Playing games that you’ve never play and there is a lot more for you to see which I couldn’t describe in words. My favourite place is the beach, it’s a place where I usually hang out alone whenever I’m bored and tension. The sound of the waves splashing, seeing the sunset and more get you the tranquility that you desire for, sir.”
“Really? That sounds awesome. Too bad I couldn’t see all of those. I wish I was free like y...” before I could finish my words, my dad called for my name and I left Ayako alone there.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about what Ayako told me that evening. I was thinking to sneak up all by myself to see how the outside world is but then my second thoughts prevented me from doing it. So at last I decided to just close my eyes and wait for tomorrow’s morning. While trying to sleep I heard my door was opened and I felt someone was coming near me. As soon as I opened my eyes, a very familiar face appeared upon my face. It was Ayako, I saw her face was in panic. She told me that we’ve been attacked by a gangster that is trying to rob us. She also mentioned that my dad was killed in the process. There is no other choice but to run away. I ran as fast as I could with Ayako but she didn’t made it because she was shot by one of the gangster. I managed to escape from the attacked but I’m all alone now. I’ve never imagined that my life would turn like this. I was so eager to see the outside world and never stop thinking of it and now after I managed to see everything, I lost something important in exchange for it. I wandered alone in the dark cruel world only to find a place for a shelter.

The next morning, I found myself lying down in an alley near the garbage bin. Then I continued my journey and met a very cute girl. Ino is her name. She brought me to her home and introduced me to her parents. I told them about my story where my home got attacked and end up lying alone in the streets. They offered me to live with them and I accepted it. Although their place is not great as mine and very low standard for me but I’m okay with it. Not long after that, I heard about an attacked at a big mansion that is owned by the richest man in the country while I was working at the rice field. I tried to gather information about the attacked from the villagers and it was my luck to get every of the information I need. As the night started to fall, I prepared for the attacked recklessly. Before I went for my own death, Ino tried to stop me from doing it but she failed to convince me why should I stop it. Then at the place where the gangster’s hangout, there is a tough battle between me and them where I took all of them one by one all by myself. Pleased by my achievement, I totally forgot about their boss-the one who killed my dad. I felt something touched at the back of my head. I noticed that it was a gun. The trigger was pulled and …

BANGG!!

I opened my eyes and found myself alive. I thought I was in heaven but sadly I realised that I was back into my room unhurt and unharmed as yesterday. It seemed that my room is still in its shape. Nothing changes, as if there wasn’t any attack been made. Then I positively believe that every of that was only my dream. Happily I jumped my from my bed and get everything ready for my next lesson with Ayako. That morning, the house seemed to be so quiet and it made me felt so uneasy. I tried to calm myself by singing in the living room while waiting for Ayako to come. But then something caught my attention, I saw something black appeared at the window and found it vanished after I tried to see it once more. I felt that my movement was being watched. I was afraid and I tried to run away but once I turned my back. A gunshot filled the air and a loud scream was heard.

“HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY MR. KIYOSHI EDIQUATE SHINHA!!!!!!!!”



(1183 words)

I hope it's not too late..

Music : I Hate Myself And Want To Die - RES

Fuhh..

The weather is very unpleasant, isnt it? Mahn.. I feel so dehydrated.. need waterr..

HAHA!

but seriously, i guess this is the feelings of the people who lives in the desert. The need of water, getting very sweaty and ... HOT everyWHERE!!! It feels like living in hell. Exaggerated i guess but that's the truth. Mahn, Brunei is getting very hot everyday.

Going to school with this kind of weather almost make me feel demotivated yo!

*sigh*

Exam is getting near. I'm worried about my O'level and AS'level, havent prepared for it. Im so dead >.<

I need to change.. Need to be more hard-working. I just hope it's not too late for me to change..

Okay, I'll stop till here.. will be updating more later (:

See ya..

Until Then..

left behind..

music : reminiscence ~ feelings not erased - yasunori mitsuda

*sighs*

how does it feels when you're left behind by your friends? it feels hurt right? how about the one that left you behind is your own bestfriend? i bet it's more painful.

i was left behind by some stranger today and guess what? he left me behind because some stupid lame fucking reason which i dont give a damn! girls... do you believe that? he DITCHED me BECAUSE of GIRLS. such one stupid reason..

here's the story.

while i was busy doing something yesterday, i got a call by non other than some random guy whom i forgot his name. he's such a nice guy, so he invited me to watch a movie today with his GIRLFRIENDS (ooooo~ ladies man kaliah! mcm baie! sasak ku kn kau ah! eat shit mothafaka!).. okay, back to the story. so he invited me to watch a movie but he wont be able to pick me up like usual because his car will be full with his GIRLFRIENDS. so he asked me if my mom could sent me there or not. he told to confirm it as soon as possible, so that he'll buy a ticket for me.. awhhh~ he's so nice..

NOT!!

okay, after i told my mom about it. she agreed to send me there. i was so happy that it made me call him straight away. so then i called him and .. the first call was unanswered. i called him again and this time he picked it up. i told him that my mom will be able to send me there and sadly the bad news was he did not buy me a ticket because he's worried that i wont be able to come.

NOT!

he's not worried at all, that's what he wants! i tried to accept his reason with positive thoughts although i felt a little sad that time. haha and then suddenly, he gave me this hope. he told me that there's one girl who's not confirm whether she could come or not. this is due to transportation which basically the same as my case. if she could or couldnt come, he'll told me about it as soon as possible.

but then his name didnt even appear in the screen of my phone after that call. it left me with despair. it's not because of im not able to watch that stupid movie but it's because how he treated me as his own fucking BESTFRIEND!

1st he gave me a call just to show off that he's going out with 12 girls
2nd he cant be my transport because of GIRLS!
3rd he rather chose girls instead of bestfriend..
4th he rather buy one girl a ticket who's isnt confirm instead of his bestfriend
5th he didnt even told me about the confirmation

I HATE IT WHEN A PERSON CHOSE A GIRL INSTEAD OF HIS BESTFRIEND WITH A REASON TO PLEASE. ALL I WANT TO SAY IS ....

"SADAR - SADAR TAH WANG, ALUM TANTU JUA BINI-BINI ATU SUKA KAN KAU, JGN JADI BUDUH, PALUI! PUSSYMA!"

the good news was one of the girls wasnt able to come because of sudden emergency. so then the ticket was a waste! haha! (Padan mua mu baie! the girl yg alum confirm atu i think dtg kali, and the one yg nda jadi tdi ani, kwn ku sorang. she's pretty yaw, bgus lah ea inda dtg haha! puas ati ku eh)

p/s : this post is between what happened yesterday, saturday and today, friday. sorry if there's some grammar mistakes, i was too mad at this stupid stranger!

until then

dreams

music : reminiscence ~ feelings not erased - yasunori mitsuda

it's been a while since the last time i dream about her. this probably because i missed her too much. i dont even know why i miss her. i mean i get to meet her everyday, seeing her in class, watching every of her motions but it seems not enough. maybe it's because i was nagged by the feeling of wanting to talk with her, have a nice chit chat while enjoying those angelic face. unlike before, im not able to say hi and bye to her, watching her smiles, her pink cheeks and everything like before.

*sigh* i miss that moment..

but ..

although we're not as "close" as before, im satisfied that angel is still looking at me. okay, i talked a lot. the point i want to say here is last night i dreamt about meeting her but this time with vivi.

we were in some sort of airplane and she was having a chat with vivi. they were talking so loud that i could hear every single words they say. of course as a dream i didnt remember everything except the event. viv was teasing kayme about something while their eyes were looking at me. feeling so shy, kayme teased vivi back telling how 'tomboy' she is. while at the same time, i approached them and get to have a nice conversation with them. what's so sweet was vivi left both of us alone. kayme and i teased each other about something. the only thing i remember is we were teasing about our cooking skills. *grins* i know it's silly but that's how the scene ends. we were helping each other in cooking as if we're a married couple..

hehs..

unfortunately, it's all just a matter of dream. it cant be a reality and it will never be. okay, ill stop till here. im having a class now ..

and i shall meet her after this (:

until then..

Failure -.-'

Hey

Just a brief update here (:

Okay,

I did told you guys that I quit smoking right? well, it's a failure. I tried my best to quit but I can't. Well, the good thing is I'm not a heavy one but a passive one (: I'm still trying to quit. It has been 3 days since the day I announced that I quit smoking now. One smoke per day, that's my limit. Hope I can get rid of it soon (:

Wish me luck! ^_^

Until then..

Cancer Stick

venue : dining hall of ptek
music : joukei no kanata - danger gang

i've been wanting to do this since the second day i started sucking those poisonous gas. flicking through every page of my memories, i realised why did i start playing with those cancer stick again. it's all because of those two stupid 'kibyan' girls.

*sigh*

i had enough telling some worthless story about them. not only they're worthless, they're also wasting my time. ever since that day, i swear to sky to try to avoid those stupid 'kibyan' people. to me, their presence can only bring misery. it's better for me to off alone rather than being with them.

okay, enough talk. the point i want to make here is that i started smoking due to the stressful situation because that stupid 'kibyan' girl reminded me of my stupid ex! another point is i quit playing with those stick after having my last one last midnight. this is because of the wish i made before.

"i'll only quit if i have a girlfriend"

i maybe say that but actually i wish for it. now, it's been nearly 3 weeks since the first time i proposed my farhana. after 3 weeks, i got the heart to move on and do what i said.

i, kimi kiyoshi hereby announced that i quit smoking! (: it's not permanent though. no promises x(

until then..

Old Grudge

Holla ..

Hey, I miss posting something in this blog. Anyway, it's just a brief update. Maybe haha!

Yesterday, I met one of my enemy at PTEK while I was smoking at my usual place where smokers usually gathers. He's my old enemy actually. Well, it's all because of noty. You guys know how she is right? She loves to have more than one relationship at a time. Thank god she realised now that it's wrong to do something like that.

Okay back to my story, I dont think I want to mention his name here but yeah, he asked my name first then he told me that maybe I know him. Honestly I didnt even recognize his face nor his voice until he mentioned noty's name. After he introduced me himself, he went off.

The point I want to make here is that it feels good to know that old grudge is forgotten now. I remember how both of us used to fight because of her. I know it's stupid but yeah, that shows how immature we were before. I hope there's no sense of hatred any more and we would able to become friends instead of enemies.

Okay, that's all

Until then..