Forever Friends

In the course of life's journey
we rub shoulders with many people,
some are warm and open,
others afraid and closed.
Some we connect with,
others come and soon are gone.
Some linger awhile,
but every now and then...
either through fate or by chance,
or because of a Higher Power...
in an unexpected moment
we are touched by a smile
that lingers in the memory.
We meet again and the more
we do the more we know
that we have met a friend,
and we'll be friends forever.
Next to God
there is no greater gift in life
than a forever-friend.
I hope that we can be such friends.

Regrets

That night was so quiet and peaceful. The wind blew smoothly telling me that night is going to be a cold night. I sat at my veranda, enjoying the soundless night. It’s so peaceful, I thought. While I’m sitting there alone, everyone has already closed their eyes, sink into their dreams. I’m closing my eyes but it’s just not like everyone else does.

I have always been a loner. It’s not because of I don’t have the skill to socialize or something but it’s because of myself. I couldn’t find that people are interesting. Most of the people around me talks about their wealth, their studies, sports and many more. They rarely talk about their friends and people around them. They didn’t seem to care about human life and … nature too. They are more concern about their studies rather than their feelings. Some say that studies is your feelings, it’s because when you achieved good result, you’ll get a job and you’ll be happy.

I disagree with this. Why? It’s because there are many things that is more important than your studies. Your health and people around you, this is way more important than studying. While you’re busy with your studies, you tend to forget the world. You only think about how to achieve a good result and be the better student around the world. By doing this, you never know that people around you is sick or good. By the time the people around passed onto another life, only then you realised how bad you are as a human. How sick you are as a human! and then you’ll start cursing yourself and blaming yourself because of what you did. Then you realized that your “unimportant person” is important to you and you’re starting to miss them, although you know it’s too late.

Sigh, I did this once. I used to be the best student in my school back then. I love it and I’m proud of it. Then after that, I got my scholarship. I went to UK and studied there. As expected, I beat everyone and became the best of the best student around UK. I was given by the Principal as the student of honour and I’m so happy about this. I could see a bright future ahead of me. Unfortunately, while I was busy doing my studies, my mom fell ill. By the time I know this, I realised that I was too busy thinking about myself and forget about my surroundings. I regretted this. So I rushed back to my country, hoping that I could visit her soon but fate is too cruel. She died before I could see her last expressions. I stayed with dad after that but a week after my mom’s death, my dad went crazy due to uncontrollable heart-suffering. He was sent to the mental hospital. Not long after that, dad committed suicide.

Due to what happened, I started to cry and kept myself locked in a room. The only thing I do everyday when I woke up from bed is crying and regretting. Because of this, I lost my vision and I became blind. Thinking back of what happened, I wish I could reverse time. So I could correct all the mistakes I made. The certificates that I’m always proud of, can do nothing but watch me as it hanged on my wall. Treasure the people around you, don’t just think about yourself. Regrets can’t bring back the time you’ve missed. So, be wise in doing everything in your life. Don’t be a person like me cause you’ll regret your whole life. Good luck in everything my fellow readers.

-- THE END --

Surprise and Smile! You’re Going To Die!

I’d never known how the outside world looks like. I am a plain kid, kind of nerd and the son to the wealthiest man of the country. I lived in a big mansion – deep inside the forest where I could only see the sky, trees and the gates that is guarding the whole place. I was never allowed to leave the house since the day I was born into the world. My dad told me that I don’t need to go to school because my father will sent me a private teacher. My only entertainment is book. I love to read book, good things that I’m a bookworm so I felt that my life is completely perfect. Well just for your information I don’t take cheap exams for example the examinations from school. In short, I’m a brilliant student. My room is full with certificates that are going to help me in the future. My name is Kiyoshi Ediquate Shinha.

One evening my mind was fraught to know about the outside world. Impatiently, I asked my private teacher about it.

In my innocent tone, I asked her “Ayako, how do the outside world look like?”
“It’s the first time you asked me about that Sir since the first day of my arrival here. It’s been 5 years and it bothers me so much to see someone who is so young, so handsome, provided with wealth and luxury also brilliant in everything never have an interest in outside world.” He said.
“Aww don’t you think that the compliments is a lil bit too much Hizaki? It’s just a question. My mind was full with that question until it made my brain to stop from thinking. You see, I’m trying to get rid of it. Anyway could you tell me about it?”
“As you wish Sir…” she smiled. “Do you know animals? Nevermind, just imagine a sheep. I bet you know how a sheep looks like. Well you could see a lot of sheep flying over the town especially houses. I think the minimum is 4 sheep”
Stupidly, believing in what she said, I imagined the flying sheep around my house. “Hey how come there is no flying sheep around my house?”
“Haha silly you sir, you’ve been tricked” her tongue was out while she was saying this. The she continued “Well in outside world you could see a lot of places that you would never expect to see. There is a playground, parks, shopping center where you could buy something, meet up some friends. Having fun with them. Playing games that you’ve never play and there is a lot more for you to see which I couldn’t describe in words. My favourite place is the beach, it’s a place where I usually hang out alone whenever I’m bored and tension. The sound of the waves splashing, seeing the sunset and more get you the tranquility that you desire for, sir.”
“Really? That sounds awesome. Too bad I couldn’t see all of those. I wish I was free like y...” before I could finish my words, my dad called for my name and I left Ayako alone there.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about what Ayako told me that evening. I was thinking to sneak up all by myself to see how the outside world is but then my second thoughts prevented me from doing it. So at last I decided to just close my eyes and wait for tomorrow’s morning. While trying to sleep I heard my door was opened and I felt someone was coming near me. As soon as I opened my eyes, a very familiar face appeared upon my face. It was Ayako, I saw her face was in panic. She told me that we’ve been attacked by a gangster that is trying to rob us. She also mentioned that my dad was killed in the process. There is no other choice but to run away. I ran as fast as I could with Ayako but she didn’t made it because she was shot by one of the gangster. I managed to escape from the attacked but I’m all alone now. I’ve never imagined that my life would turn like this. I was so eager to see the outside world and never stop thinking of it and now after I managed to see everything, I lost something important in exchange for it. I wandered alone in the dark cruel world only to find a place for a shelter.

The next morning, I found myself lying down in an alley near the garbage bin. Then I continued my journey and met a very cute girl. Ino is her name. She brought me to her home and introduced me to her parents. I told them about my story where my home got attacked and end up lying alone in the streets. They offered me to live with them and I accepted it. Although their place is not great as mine and very low standard for me but I’m okay with it. Not long after that, I heard about an attacked at a big mansion that is owned by the richest man in the country while I was working at the rice field. I tried to gather information about the attacked from the villagers and it was my luck to get every of the information I need. As the night started to fall, I prepared for the attacked recklessly. Before I went for my own death, Ino tried to stop me from doing it but she failed to convince me why should I stop it. Then at the place where the gangster’s hangout, there is a tough battle between me and them where I took all of them one by one all by myself. Pleased by my achievement, I totally forgot about their boss-the one who killed my dad. I felt something touched at the back of my head. I noticed that it was a gun. The trigger was pulled and …

BANGG!!

I opened my eyes and found myself alive. I thought I was in heaven but sadly I realised that I was back into my room unhurt and unharmed as yesterday. It seemed that my room is still in its shape. Nothing changes, as if there wasn’t any attack been made. Then I positively believe that every of that was only my dream. Happily I jumped my from my bed and get everything ready for my next lesson with Ayako. That morning, the house seemed to be so quiet and it made me felt so uneasy. I tried to calm myself by singing in the living room while waiting for Ayako to come. But then something caught my attention, I saw something black appeared at the window and found it vanished after I tried to see it once more. I felt that my movement was being watched. I was afraid and I tried to run away but once I turned my back. A gunshot filled the air and a loud scream was heard.

“HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY MR. KIYOSHI EDIQUATE SHINHA!!!!!!!!”



(1183 words)

Song Review

STAY GOLD – Rentrer en Soi

My memories flicker in the glittering starlit sky
Embraced by the dreams and the sleep I’ve wished for

I send my thoughts to you,
Who is disappearing, again and again
This night that seems to be broken, is dyed in sighs

Those days were too dazzling
In the seasons that passed by brilliantly
Our guide meeting inside of fate

Don’t forget it, okay?
The meaning of the fact that
We were able to meet the smiles, the tears, the days
In which we all walked together

Since some day,
There was definitely light inside of my heart
Since the time when you were with me

The wind danced through the sky
Coloured in the days we pass through
Our guided parting
Embraced by destiny

The words I want to tell you now
Are “Thank You”, from all my heart
Because it’s due to the fact
That you were there
That I’m able to move into the future

No matter how many years pass by
The thoughts we piled up won’t lose their colour
Since we can surely meet again some day
Let’s laugh then and talk away the night with our memories

This moment now, surrounded by the holy night
Gets engraved into my memories for eternity

Don’t forget it, okay?
The meaning of the fact that
We were able to meet the smiles, the tears, the days
In which we all walked together

The words I want to tell you now
Are “Thank You”, from all my heart
Because it’s due to the fact
That you were there
That I’m able to move into the future


Choose a song of your own and using the above as your guide, write your own review! [25]


First of all, this review took me about 3-5 hours to complete. Since it’s a precious song for me and all the Rentrer en Soi fans, I want to make sure it’s perfect so it won’t hurt any of Rentrer en Soi fans. Before I start, I want to tell you that this song is a Japanese song from a band called Rentrer en Soi, just in case for those of you that is not familiar with the band. No offense by the way. *Laughs* The lyric up there is actually the translation to this song. The whole song was totally in Japanese. The song was written by their vocalist, Satsuki about 2 years ago in their last album “Ain Soph Aur” as a present to his fans. Not just that, the song is the last song that Rentrer en Soi played for their last one-man show before they disbanded.

The song was up to 7 minutes. The combination of melodious piano, drum and acoustic guitar made the song beautiful. With Satsuki beautiful vocal and lyric, the song could warm everyone heart. Looking at the lyrics, the story was about a noble man meeting a person who lighten his days and made his future. All the memories they shared is a precious treasure for both of them. But the noble man realized that someday this will come to an end. He was sure that both of them will be apart someday and when that happens, he wishes not to be forgotten for all the memories they shared together. He wants the person to remember all the “all the smiles the tears, the days” in which both of them “walk together” and for all that he says “Thank you” because of that person he was “able to move into the future”. He believes that no matter how many years passed, the memories will never fade and he also believes that they will meet again somewhere in the future. Thus, before they won’t be able to meet each other, he wants to enjoy their surroundings that is surrounded by the “Holy Night” talking and laughing about their memories and “engraved everything into” his “memories for eternity”

In reality, as I mentioned before, this song was written before the band disbanded and were performed as their last song on their last one-man show. It’s a matter of saying “Thanks” instead of “Good Bye” which would be very painful for the fans. The song was supposed to be a song that listened with smile, joy and happiness but it turned out to be the opposite due to the fact that the band performed it as the last song before they disbanded. I remember how everyone cried when the piano and Satsuki’s voice enters. Personally, the song was really beautiful and I really love it. Thanks to Satsuki and the band members, the song could warm this heart everytime thinking about the disappointing fact that Rentrer en Soi has disbanded. The memories I cherished with the band, watching them performing, enjoying their songs, laughing about the post in their blog will never be forgotten and will always STAY GOLD.

(524 words)


P/S : Just posting out of boredom :) and don't judge me for the mistake eh? this actually my GP assignment. nothing more than that. im just showing my love and care for this band :)

until then..

Roses

Roses

The sweet scent of blooming roses filled the morning sunrise as I opened the window of my bedroom after having such a long nap. Standing before me was a garden of roses where it reminded me of the time when I helped dad with the garden, I was complaining back then because it took my nap time after the tiring day of school but now I couldn’t believed myself that those flowers were the things that I obsessed to after all that hard time I’ve been through. It felt like that thing was just happened yesterday before dad leaves me for eternity.

I was at Japan for a very long time. After graduated from University of Osaka, I decided to stay there. I told dad about it long before I leave him. I remembered my dad said something before my departure. He told me to come back to visit him and the garden once or two every year but sadly it didn’t turn out as he expected to. I knew deep inside his heart that I have hurt him so bad. After all I’m the only family he got after mom involved in tragic accident 10 years ago.

It was my last year in high-school. I was waiting for my o’lvl result along with the promised scholarship to Japan. The Principal told us that whoever achieved a brilliant result will automatically assigned to the scholarship. I was so excited at the first time I heard this. I always wanted to go to Japan since I was a child. Dad and mom supported me and pushed me to go for it and surprisingly I did. Finally after waited for three months, the day I’ve been waiting for has come. I couldn’t believe my eyes that I achieved grade ‘A’ distinction for every of my subject. I even asked my friends to checked it for me because I’m afraid that my eyes were blinded by some kind of cheap trick or something but it was true, I really got an ‘A’ for eight subjects. My friends poke my shoulder asking me to buy them a drink since I got an excellent result beating the best student in school which appeared to be my best friend. Ecstatic about my result I ran home to tell my family about this. I couldn’t wait to see mom’s happy face and dad calling “well, whose son is that?” after I show them my result but alas a second of a good moment will never complete without a minute sad moment. I started to learn this after I knew that mom died being crashed by a truck during her walk to the supermarket. I cried endlessly in front of mom’s grave until those tears of mine dried up. Dad tried to cheer me up by having a party to celebrate my achievement on my o’lvl exams which also my farewell party since I’m going to Japan. At first, I decided to stay with my dad but then he convinced me that he could take care of himself. It was hard for both of us but he wanted me to focus on my future. Before I went to Japan, both of us exchanged promises.

Unfortunately, it seemed that both of us didn’t keep that promise or maybe we truly forgot about it. After graduated, a company offered me a job as an executive manager. I accepted the offer and told dad about it. Funny, after all the time I spent in Japan that was the first time I ever call my dad. That phone call was still vivid in my memories. I remembered that he was a little surprised when he heard my voice on the day of his birthday. I could hear him crying that time. I knew he missed me so much since I haven’t called him in years. He was so mad at me because I didn’t give him any phone call or sent him a letter but I told him that I’m going to visit him next month as an apology. I left him my contact number for him to contact me at any time. He thanked me for the call and told me that was the greatest birthday present he ever had from me also he told me that he couldn’t wait for my homecoming. Regrettably, that first phone call I gave him was also the last time we ever talk. A week after that, I’ve been waiting for him to call me but it was hopeless. The phone never rang for his name. I was so worried so I decided to call him instead of waiting for him call me.


To be continued…

i wish i was a bird

i wish i was a bird..
where i could fly freely..
without the fear of falling..
where i could gaze at the sky and ground..
where everyone knows me with the title 'king of the sky'
but at the matter of fact i'm just a small bird..
who's facing the fear of heights..
who's is very weak and totaly weak..
where standing up is my main problem..
even flying is too much for me..
i can move my featherless wings..
but i cant float like any other bird..
those cold gaze upon me everytime i'm alone..
i'm a victim by that creature
who's always playing with its tongue..
while their pray is in its grip..
i ask myself
why did i born into this cruel world?
the excruciating pain is eating my body..
i shriek..
i cry..
'i dont want to die'
but the only answer is the fading vision..
there goes i to the life with darkness eternity..

until then..

The Happiest Ending Of My Life

The voices are getting louder. They’re real voices, I know they are. I’m not imagining them. Smashes fist into window sill. Whatever I do, they keep talking. Babbling. Shrieking and swearing, cackling like witches.

It was hard to imagine that I was alone at a time like this. I want to cry and scream but I didn’t want the LIVING DEAD to be distracted. I tried to peek but I failed to do so because my body was numbed. I was so petrified until I couldn’t move every single of my body. My heart beats so fast as the voices of the zombies are getting louder and closer. I tried to relax myself by closing my eyes and in the process, I realised that my tears are flowing on my face. I wiped the tears and noticed that the tears were very sticky. “This is no tears, this is saliva” I said to myself. I glanced upwards and …..

“ZOMBIEESSSSS!!!!!”

I realised that it was already too late to swallow back what I’d screamed just now. My foolishness had drawn me into the worst situation of the movie. Now, not only one zombie that is looking straight at me but hundreds of them. My only option is to run away from that ugly creature. I ran as fast as I could and failed to escape from them. The zombies were everywhere. It looked like that I was trap in a pool of zombies. They gave me no choice but to surrender my life to them. I fall to my knees showing how relinquish I was to the circumstances but then I hate to surprised you, while I tried to put my knees on the ground, it stumbled down on a hard unit which I believed a pipe bomb. Quickly my eyes search for an escape and I found out an old house to hide. The plan I had in my mind was to get into the house after I throw the pipe bomb at one place. I wasn’t sure that it will work since I follow this action from Left4dead – a game of zombies where you get to kill all the zombies with one blow of pipe bomb. In the game, pipe bomb was the best weapon you’ve ever have because of the ticking sound from the pipe bomb will drove the zombies away from you and head straight towards the pipe bomb.

So the plan actually was a success. The zombies were distracted by the sound of the ticking sound and I managed to escape from them also blowing the whole group of them in the same time. I thought it was the end of my nightmare right after I blow up all the zombies. But the remaining zombies outside of the house proved me wrong, my nightmare was just begun. Suddenly I heard a noise in a closet like a noise of someone who is trying to get out. Quickly I find myself a protection and my eyes found me a baseball bat. I walked slowly and carefully in approaching the closet. My hands were ready to hit the zombie in the cupboard. I opened the closet and hit the beast inside it only to find that it was a boy in the same age as mine. I helped him to get out from the closet. He introduced himself as Johnny. He was an inch shorter than me. I asked him how that he got here and what happened to this world. He told me that all this zombies were actually a human. They were infected by a mysterious disease from a wreck spaceship that fall from a sky a week before this. The disease had turned them into a living dead creature. I asked him again if there is way to help them changed back into human but he was speechless which tells me that the only thing to do is to run away from them and avoid getting infected.

Then I heard a noise of a splashing window at the back of the house. I know the zombies were coming to after us. Johnny asked me to follow him somewhere. Clueless of the direction where to go, I followed him to the basement and there was a secret passage. Everything was white and built by a high wall. It looks like that we were in a maze. But it was too late, we were tracked by the zombies and this forced us to run away in terror. As the images of the zombies were fading, I found out that Johnny was gone. I couldn’t find him anywhere. I gave up and end up walking alone in this puzzle of nowhere. I really hate this part so much. Why do I have to face a puzzle in this panic situation? I walked and keep on walking until something caught my eyes and stopped me from walking. I found a big crow statue jointed on the wall with a red button on its nose. Before I managed to press the button Johnny stopped me from doing it. He told me not to push it because it was a gateway to hell where all the zombies were kept. Then he leads me into somewhere I’ve never seen before. I trust him in this situation since he seemed to know all the way in the mazes. The place where he leads me on was a place with a big screen that I’ve never ever seen before. It was full of unfamiliar buttons. The place was a total mess and I could see there was a pilot seat in front of the big screen. It was sort of an outer spaceship. Wait, did I say spaceship? I stare at Johnny while he performed me an evil smile on his face. I tried to run but it was already too late. He shut the door before I noticed that I was in that hell and there I was . . . shedding my tears, depressed on knowing that my life will going to end soon. I could see a lots of zombies were coming slowly and happily seeing me as a food to eat. I heard Johnny’s voice laughing and telling me that he was the master of the zombie. The gate of hell that he told me not to enter was actually a safe place with full of zombie-killers that will kill him and his minions with an instant. I was completely tricked. The feeling of anger gave me the strength to choke Johnny to death but the zombies hold me from doing so. I closed my eyes and wait for my death to come.

“GAME OVER!!”

That big words were the words that appeared on the television screen. “Oh no! Darn it! I lost the game”. I was completely pissed off by that villain that called himself Johnny. He tricked me and made me fall into his traps. I promised to myself that the next time I see him, I’ll kill him for sure but first I need something to eat. So I decided to went to the kitchen to get myself a dinner. My eyes were hurt after playing that game for 8 hours straight. The house was completely soundless. I didn’t think much of it since the clock was showing half past eleven. Then I heard a knocked from outside the door. I asked myself who it was coming at this time. Probably it was my dad, he used to be back at home during this time. “Wait up!” I shouted. As I opened the door, the only thing I could spell was the word z-o-m-b-i-e-s.


(1278 words)

The Old Sad Melody

A familiar song was played in repeat while I was sitting in front of one big family picture that’d been hanging on the wall in my living room for many years. Analyzing from one face to another, my eyes were attached to one great man who carried a boy about 5 years old. He was my grandfather whom I loved and respect so much. It had been 10 years since the day he left the whole family. His masculinity was shown on his great physique and his perfect height. The wrinkled face that he had on his face shows how experienced he is in life. His strong hands were the hand that I used to pamper with before he close his eyes for eternity. The light from the fireplace were focusing on the rocking chair where he used to sit before the day with full of tears. I remember when he sat on the chair, holding me in his arms and sang me a song which I really hate to hear it back then. It was an old song that he made by himself. I also remember when he asked me what do I think about that song and I told him that the song was really ugly. His only reaction was laughing, rubbing my head and said “Kitz! Promise me someday that you’ll record and sing that song for me”. My regrets on the fact that I could only record the song for him and didn’t manage to sing it in front of him has never stop me from crying. Sleep well my dear grandpa, may this sad melody of yours will entertain you in your eternal rest. Your memories will always stay in my mind . . .

decision and fate

i was just thinking..
maybe it was right decision to let you go..
or maybe it was the stupid thing that i've ever done in my life
i was so confused..
everything was unexpected..
just now you told me that you'll marry me..
but after 2 second you left me alone in this dark sad night..
i tried hard to heal your wound but instead you hurt me to death..
i brought you a milk to drink but you gave me blood as a payment..
i was so hurt that i'd made up a decision to let you go..
well after all you got a new substitute where your love to him for the distance between u and him..
bt between that i could see tears flowing in ur heart..

smile baby! smile..
cus i dont want to feel guilty for my stupid decision..
just smile for me even deep inside ur heart u want to come back home badly..
fate had seperated us..
it's not u either me who want this..
but this is it, the cruel side of life..
where there is sadness and happiness..
where there are good and evil..
where love can be annoying and fun..
this is how it is..
now let us just live our own life..
so we could see the shining light again..
and so then,may happiness shall be with us eternally..

until then..

The Day I Was Born

It was on 25th December 1991, I remember vividly that it was one of the happiest moments in the world. Everyone was busy celebrating about Christmas but actually the light wasn’t focusing at there. The light was in the hospital. It was really dark that time, I couldn’t see anything but I could hear somebody was screaming “PUSHHHHHHH!!” although it was not that clear but I could understand the unknown language clearly. Then all of a sudden, I screamed and screamed without any reason. I could see lights were coming from all over direction. “Congratulations! You got a baby boy!” By listening to that word I knew exactly that I was born to this world. “What should we call him?” “I already got a perfect name for him, from now on we’re going to call him Herzan Farahy” So from that day, another soul whose name ‘Herzan Farahy’ were born into this world.

NOTE : Actually this is my essay for my e'as' project. I dont know why i posted in here,i just feel like it :)

The Heart Of A Loser

I know that it was wrong...
I know that it's already too late...
I know that the mistake I made had cost me this trouble..
Watching you in pain waiting for me..
I know I threw my life time opportunity..
I'm really sorry baby..
But you'll never understand that I'm nothing but a coward..
A coward that only dare to love you withou saying anything..
A coward that only dare to look at you when you're not looking..
A coward that only dare to say something in his heart without confessing..
By doing this,I know that I'll never be able to touch you..
I know that I'll never ever get you..
I failed before the test..
I lost without a fight..
And I die before trying..

Now, tell me sweetheart that the best way is just to keep this feeling..
Let it inside me and kept it locked in its chest..
Sigh,I know that I'm just a mere loser..
I know that I'm not the right guy for you and I will never be one..
Baby, just let me see that graceful smile of yours with someone else i don't know..
So I can redeem this guilt by burying the perfect pain inside my heart endlessly..
Kimi-chan, my love towards you are eternally immortal.. believe me..
I'll always love you and it will always be forever..

until then ..

wrote on the 3rd june due to the opportunity that i wasted during the rainy day on 2nd june. im sorry..

Revenge For Blood

That night was full of blood and tears. The war between those two families had come to an end at last. Even though that the war had ended, the feeling of hatred was still prevail. The desire to avenge his father’s death has become a part to his heart and he made a promise to himself, he will kill the killer of his father and claim back the title that they should have. Day passes to week and months changing to year, everybody seems to forget the tragedy between those two families.

note : guys! what do you think about the opening. Do you think I should continue it?

For my beloved girlfriend

i watch you today as i watched you before.
with the beautiful azure of the blue sky as your background
your beauty look so perfect.

as the sunlight fades,the dull comes.
the gloomy shares its darkness
the cold of the night wind chill my spine.
i can see nothing but all dark and murky night.

the light from the street were dim.
it is so hard to see everything
stab my heart if you dont believe me.
even the one with vision also falls.

despite all of that,you are the only thing i could see.
your lightness alters everything.
you are the shine of dark
and you are the smile of bright.

because you are my special one
you are my bestfriend
and you are my life
stab my heart if you dont believe me...
cus i swear to god that everything i said is true..

"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!"

note : actually this poem is for my nerds,my bestfriend and my ex-girlfriend. never thought to dedicate this for my mom. but then after i think for a while. this poem also suits for my mom on today mother's day. (:

voice of regret

i was in tears. in my hand was a picture of me and him. comparing to my life now,it is more enjoyable to be with him. i remembered the time when we had our first kiss,he hold me tight and touched my lips gently. the heat that he brought to me was a sense of the feeling of love within our relationship. i also remember that he always spent most of his time chattering with me rather than gaming or anything that any of boys would do. yea, i admit he often makes me bored before but now i've been missing his laughter,jokes and his annoying attitude,sometimes the repeated question he used to asked me. which make me feel that i want to be with him again.

looking at his life now,it's more better for him to stay like that. i'd been making his life so miserable even after the day i left him. the misery and pain that he feel reminds me of the guilt that i've done to him. i wondered how he struggled so hard to keep our love alive for more than a year. his eagerness for a long last relationship amazed me,even after all the thing i'd done that have crushed his heart into pieces. i know he's so broken now but yet he's pretending to be happy. his laughter and smile is so warm that it could makes people believed that it really is true.

i know that im wrong but yet i still blamed him for the cause of our break up.

"sarah why did you do this to me? why did you leave me? how could you? i love you so much. i've never done anything wrong to hurt you. pls dont leave me. im begging you please"

the sad last word i'd ever heard from him. i remember how he plead me for symphathy, for me to think twice for what im going to do and yet i still ignored him.

*sigh*

remembering all the bad things that i'd done,im so ashamed to say the word 'sorry'. im so sorry daniel,im really sorry. i wish u could ever heard me said this but i will never ever say it to you. for now let all the things happen as it be. ill be sure to get along with you as a friend sometimes. i know that you'll never ever forgive me for what i've done but that doesnt matter. in order to redeem my guilt ill try everything to redeem it..

until then..

delusion that brings a disappointment and gratification

last nite i was at the mall checking in at the rizqun hotel. after everything was done,i called some friends of mine and have a party in my room. it was totally fun,the room was also in a mess because of them.

suddenly i felt that i need to take some fresh air,so i decided to go to the verandah to take some. while relaxing my mind,i gazed at the surroundings. it's so peaceful and refreshing.

'psst~psst~'

i heard a voice that 'psst' me. i searched for the voice and gradually my eyes looked beside my verandah. i smiled but my heart was totally in chaos. it beats so fast until i could barely heard it beats. standing infront of my eyes was kim,whom i adored so much that i've ever did in my life. i stared at her beautiful face and astounded by her beauty that makes my heart fall. she looked so wonderful that night. i was amazingly amazed. she replied my reaction with her facinating smiles.

to prevent her eyes from looking away from me,i started to draw her attention. i didnt sure what i did and what our conversation was but it sure kept her attention towards me. i didnt sure how long we've talked,but we sure enjoyed our time by talking to each other. i invited her to my room after i realised that my room was empty. happily she accepts my invitation n went straight away into my room.

i opened the door for her and greet her with a warm smile.

"come on in" i smiled and didnt waste my chance to stared at her irresistible beauty.

she only responded it with smiles. ahh,her smiles was perfectly stunning,i said to my self. i requested her to sit with me on the bed and without question she quickly do my instruction.

to break the silence. i started my word with .....

"you're so beautiful tonight kim" i said while staring at her wonderful pair of eyes.

she smiled and thanked me for my compliment. i waited for her to talk but it seem she didnt know what to ask me. realising that we'll fell into silence,i continued to talked.

"it must be a coincidence that we met at a place like this..." i stop and looked at her face,waiting again for her to reply my words. realising that she wouldnt respons to what i said,i teased her.

"or .. you follow me here because u know that im going to stay here tonight" i smiled.

her expression change. she began to talk "no,no.. it isnt what u think. i've never intended to follow you here,i didnt even know that you're going to stay here. really.."

"oww so sweet,you're defending yourself now haha i enjoy doing that. really.. " i gave her a big smile and winked at her.

she mad and grumbled after i know that i mocked her deliberately. she was cute when she's doing that. i soothe her anger easily. i dont know how but somehow i managed to made her laugh and smile again. after she realised that it was already late,she asked me if she could go. i let her and escort her to the front door.

"it was nice to talk with you herzan,thanx!"

"my pleasure kim"
i smiled

then she went straight away to her door. as she opened the door,i watched her slowly move herself into her room. all of the sudden,my mind tells me that this is the perfect time.

"kim" i stopped her.
"yes zan?" she asked.
i brought her into her room "actually,i want to tell you something. it's not that important but uhh.. im not sure what,i bet u're going to mad at me when i told you this"
"try me" she smiles.
"remember the time when i told you that you're so beautiful? i really mean it" i said.
"yeah,i know that u're really mean it" again she smiled.
"kim,pls dont mad at me when i told u this. actually i like you. i love u more than anybody else" i confessed.

i could see a dissapointment at her face after i told her that. knowing that im going to be rejected,i asked her to save her breath. then i began my pace and leave her alone. but then she stops me.

"hey,its not a gentlemen to leave a gurl after they confess their feeling" she teased me. "haha you should watch ur face when u're in that state" she laughed.

i said to my self "wth,erhhh,eeeeee" it feels like i want to bite her with all my might. but then i heard she continues to talk. it's the word that i dont want to miss for the rest of my life.

"im sorry for doing that zan but i just want to reply what've u done to me earlier" she smiled. "and to be honest,i love you too"

it feels like i was in a heaven after i heard she said i love you too. it was a pleasant thing to hear that she said like that. the moment of happiness continues as we stared at each other and slowly moving closer,closing our eyes and lean our face towards each other.

and suddenly my alarm rang. i understand now that it was only a mere dream. damn! it was so disappointing. i thought it was real. damn! i try to sleep,continuing my dreams but i cant waste my time cus i have to get ready to school.

i wish that dream will come true.

p/s : i wrote this about 4 hours. fuhh,it feels like im writing a short story. actually my dream was short but to make it look intresting,i expand the story using repetition,simile and more xDD to fizul,pls comment me on my writing. just considered this as short story okay? and about the short form,just ignore it (: and yeah,if u guys realised,about the verandah. i dont rizqun have one. if im not mistaken laa,cuz this is my dream,you know,anything can happen in dreams.

*exeunt*

Perfect Night

it was so silent tonight. the sound of rustling wind can be heard. sparkling stars could be seen at the black night sky and the full moon makes everything just perfect. also,not forget the chilly cold breeze that blows pass through us and make people shivering. the clouds and with its different shape that sometimes forms a heart and other thing. tonight was a perfect night for people to calm their mind and relax their self.

note : aha i was just testing my self to write a descriptive writing. dont know if it's ok or not. AKI2 tua:p give me comment about my descriptive writing. need some help yo. i think my english writing is kinda awkward yo. help me. help me. help me..

unsolved question (unfinished)

once upon a time,in a class,there was a boy who usually laugh everytime even the situation isnt that funny. he's the type that we call 'happy-go-lucky'. his laughter bring smiles and happiness to everyone,but then suddenly he turned out to be weird. all the smile and colorful days has turned out to be dim and silent world. that boy just didnt laugh as usual ,the joy and happiness that he bring was now nothing but just an empty and motionless expression. all he does just being silent and never talk to anyone,even a smile was also a rare thing to see from him.

after a week,that boy just disappeared without news. everybody were asking about that boy,where did he go? what'd happened to him? lots of questions were asked but one of them never got the answer..

*uhh didnt have any idea to continued this story,post me some 'kumins' what do ya'all think about the introduction :)*