Theater Boy (:

it was in a theater

i saw this boy ..

from the first glance,

i knew he was in pain ..

lucky for him, he was an actor..

a good one that could stun everyone with his tremendous acting skills

and made everyone leave with huge appalling applause..

living in the world of theatre,

he greeted everyone

with smile ..

a joyous one that could cheer all the audience around the stage..

a comfortable smile yet disturbing..

chaotic inside but visually merry..

i wondered what made him in pain?

he was my favourite actor of all time..

he lived in a luxurious life and he made everyone happy..

but why? why was he in pain?

frustation condemned me,

and i couldnt find an answer,

i wanted to know his secret,

this secret of him was killing me

but ..

in the end, i left ..

frustrated ..

sad with curiousity engraving me ..

earlier before,

i saw a mirror ..

and a reflection of an empty theater ..

with no audience and no actor ..

i could see no body but empty seats..

lastly, i realised something..

it was the curtain ..

a closed curtain ..

Ugly Duck

she is an ugly duck,
living in the world of hatred,
and cries everyday
less jealousy in life but filled with emptiness.
with the full impression of being ugly, she stands as a social outcast.
that silent nature she possesed makes everything worse.

yet behind that hideous nature
i find her to be sweet,
inside her is a pure white heart,
a lovely one that can steal someone's attention,
mesmerises their hearts,
and grabs them without mercy
a poor innocent being with beautiful wings,
a scary nature but a wonderful one.

no eyes can see this,
only those who are chosen can see this fortune,
how lucky i am as a human,
to be able to catch a glimpse of a breath-taking sight.

chaotic.kimi

specially made for my dear love (:

she was an angel - a wingless one.

the moment she came to my life..
a sparkling bright light altered the dark sky of mine.

ahh, lovely ..

she brought hope to this world of despair..
with rain pouring endlessly from the chaotic sky..
she cleansed every tiny black bits
of my life..
killing the false utophia i long to banish..

will thou come with me? she offered.
her soft fingers held my face and gave me a stunning smile.

"it's time to end your current life and start a new one with me. i shall bring you to the heaven thou desire to see..
let us go home and you shall be my guest tonight"

.... i was left speechless but i knew if i decline this offer, i will be regretting my whole life.

she smiled and offered her hand. i smiled and walked beside her knowing the journey will be a long and yet a happy one.

i love you hana <3

Rain

listening to : MINORI - UVERworld

Tears, nothing but sadness..
solitude plus heartache..
cleaning the happiness around..
killing every smile to the ground..
was it because of you?
no, but also yes.
this neglection of pure love..
everything was a sacrifice..
tis' violent wind in heart..
putting the mind in chaotic state..
come rain.. come rain..
wash away all my pain..

made by chaotic.kimi

no copying please. thank you.

Wither

so this how it feels to live in the world?
i just born about 2 days ago..
eager to taste the smell of the fresh air in the morning..
i bloomed imperfectly as a rose..
i thought i would be welcomed warmly..
but instead it was the cold surroundings that greeted me..
as day passes i've become a frozen roses..
the bright blue colour of my sepals have turned to crimson blood..
as my original colour is fading..
so does my hope..
the light from the arc is focusing on me..
trying to help to get my self back..
so this is the feeling living in this world?
the happiness is greeted with cold hatred..
as for the the cold darkside of you is pleased with warm love..
again this is to find the old you?
but sadly, all of that is too late now..
for now that i've melted after that long cold atmosphere..
i shall live as a wither rose in the satan's hands..

-written accordingly to what happened a few days ago..

until then..

i wish i was a bird

i wish i was a bird..
where i could fly freely..
without the fear of falling..
where i could gaze at the sky and ground..
where everyone knows me with the title 'king of the sky'
but at the matter of fact i'm just a small bird..
who's facing the fear of heights..
who's is very weak and totaly weak..
where standing up is my main problem..
even flying is too much for me..
i can move my featherless wings..
but i cant float like any other bird..
those cold gaze upon me everytime i'm alone..
i'm a victim by that creature
who's always playing with its tongue..
while their pray is in its grip..
i ask myself
why did i born into this cruel world?
the excruciating pain is eating my body..
i shriek..
i cry..
'i dont want to die'
but the only answer is the fading vision..
there goes i to the life with darkness eternity..

until then..

decision and fate

i was just thinking..
maybe it was right decision to let you go..
or maybe it was the stupid thing that i've ever done in my life
i was so confused..
everything was unexpected..
just now you told me that you'll marry me..
but after 2 second you left me alone in this dark sad night..
i tried hard to heal your wound but instead you hurt me to death..
i brought you a milk to drink but you gave me blood as a payment..
i was so hurt that i'd made up a decision to let you go..
well after all you got a new substitute where your love to him for the distance between u and him..
bt between that i could see tears flowing in ur heart..

smile baby! smile..
cus i dont want to feel guilty for my stupid decision..
just smile for me even deep inside ur heart u want to come back home badly..
fate had seperated us..
it's not u either me who want this..
but this is it, the cruel side of life..
where there is sadness and happiness..
where there are good and evil..
where love can be annoying and fun..
this is how it is..
now let us just live our own life..
so we could see the shining light again..
and so then,may happiness shall be with us eternally..

until then..

For my beloved girlfriend

i watch you today as i watched you before.
with the beautiful azure of the blue sky as your background
your beauty look so perfect.

as the sunlight fades,the dull comes.
the gloomy shares its darkness
the cold of the night wind chill my spine.
i can see nothing but all dark and murky night.

the light from the street were dim.
it is so hard to see everything
stab my heart if you dont believe me.
even the one with vision also falls.

despite all of that,you are the only thing i could see.
your lightness alters everything.
you are the shine of dark
and you are the smile of bright.

because you are my special one
you are my bestfriend
and you are my life
stab my heart if you dont believe me...
cus i swear to god that everything i said is true..

"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!"

note : actually this poem is for my nerds,my bestfriend and my ex-girlfriend. never thought to dedicate this for my mom. but then after i think for a while. this poem also suits for my mom on today mother's day. (: