Forever Friends

In the course of life's journey
we rub shoulders with many people,
some are warm and open,
others afraid and closed.
Some we connect with,
others come and soon are gone.
Some linger awhile,
but every now and then...
either through fate or by chance,
or because of a Higher Power...
in an unexpected moment
we are touched by a smile
that lingers in the memory.
We meet again and the more
we do the more we know
that we have met a friend,
and we'll be friends forever.
Next to God
there is no greater gift in life
than a forever-friend.
I hope that we can be such friends.

specially made for my dear love (:

she was an angel - a wingless one.

the moment she came to my life..
a sparkling bright light altered the dark sky of mine.

ahh, lovely ..

she brought hope to this world of despair..
with rain pouring endlessly from the chaotic sky..
she cleansed every tiny black bits
of my life..
killing the false utophia i long to banish..

will thou come with me? she offered.
her soft fingers held my face and gave me a stunning smile.

"it's time to end your current life and start a new one with me. i shall bring you to the heaven thou desire to see..
let us go home and you shall be my guest tonight"

.... i was left speechless but i knew if i decline this offer, i will be regretting my whole life.

she smiled and offered her hand. i smiled and walked beside her knowing the journey will be a long and yet a happy one.

i love you hana <3

Rain

listening to : MINORI - UVERworld

Tears, nothing but sadness..
solitude plus heartache..
cleaning the happiness around..
killing every smile to the ground..
was it because of you?
no, but also yes.
this neglection of pure love..
everything was a sacrifice..
tis' violent wind in heart..
putting the mind in chaotic state..
come rain.. come rain..
wash away all my pain..

made by chaotic.kimi

no copying please. thank you.

Dreams

listening to : the splashing rain

i've been experiencing 3 beautiful dreams in a row. once in the last 3 days. it was a lil bit odd for me but it made me happy although it was a weird one.

first dream was a wild one. i dont want to talk about it :s

second, i dreamt about watching satsuki's concert. hee, a very happy one.

third, i dreamt about kayme. ^^ the best of all.

in that dream, i was in a classroom with kayme and as usual vivi was there too. kayme and i were having a wonderful conversation. we were like friends and i get to poke her and hold her hands everytime i want.

vivi can only watch and teases us which made me happy because she was teasing about me and her being together as a couple.

we did so many things in that dream. unfortunately, i cant remember a thing beside me poking her and holding her hands.

so sweet.. ^^

today, early morning. it turned out to be a nightmare. a stupid one. i was dragged into having a quarrel with my dad because of stupid things and sadly it's also happened in reality.

dont want to make this longer. family matter.

until then..

Miss Me?

listening to : awake - secondhand serenade.

hey, im back.. i miss blogging so much. i miss expressing my feelings to this page. it's good to be back.

sorry for not being active, quite busy with exams. qualifying exams was extremely hard especially accounting. i screwed up my accounting so bad. i bet my group tutor gonna lecture me the next time i come to class. >.<

well, last wednesday was my freaking bad day and it continued till sunday. i swear to god, it turned me into emo-ish for a while. it sucks, i know. dont judge me for this, you bastard . haha

first, it was because of accounting mock exam. damn accounting! curses for the founder of that subject. it gave me hell. i sat there for 2 hours and a half like stupid doing nothing as i didnt know any of the answer. i know im going to fail my accounting -.-' shit..

second, it was because of prototype. it's a game. the game was awesome. for me, it was best game ever created. the only problem was i cant play the game in my laptop because of my directX. sucks, i know. *sigh* but then, later that thursday afternoon i went to the mall with friends. im not interested in mall, so i went to the 'komunis shop' to buy some games. i was hoping that i could find the prototype and found them. yeay! borrowed friends money and buy them. on my way to the counter, i saw another game which caught my attention. it was a game by square enix named 'the last remnant'. i was like 'shit! which one to choose?'. i've been always a fan of rpg games since the first time i play final fantasy. after thinking for one hour, i decided to buy the last remnant one because i believed it will provide me the latest directX and it will allows me to install prototype as it's only require 9.0c directX.

then we went back to school, install the directX and copied a new prototype from najib. yeah, the game works. of course it works, the last remnant provides me the latest directX which is directX 10.

thursday evening, which was around 6, i checked my fb and opened up my girlfriend's page. this was the shit thing that made me so not in the mood after having a tough time with exams and games. as soon as the page finished its loading, i saw my girlfriend's status mentioning a SPECIFIC name going to the mall watching tekken. i know, that guy is nothing special but fuck that, my mind wasnt prepared for any of this shit. so, i was jealous. seriously, that ruined my whole day and my fucking mood man. i was like relax dude, it's okay, he's just a friend of her but it didnt work out. insted my mind kept on questioning my self, who's this bastard that she's going with. my curiousity grows bigger and my anger engraged.

but ..

i didnt show her my anger. instead i told her, that i was tired when she gave me a wall. after that she didnt reply any of my wall and she put on her status as 'not in the mood'. i was always this soft when it comes to relationship.

*sighs*

the next day, i updated my status saying that 'i hate the fact that i love you'. as expected, she liked my status and i didnt say anything. i know she's going ask me about this and 3 hours after that, she did ask. my real intention of that status is for the sake of her. what i meant was i hate jealousy, i dont hate her. i do love her but as my love grows bigger so do my jealousy. i cant control this. jealousy could hurt her and i hate to hurt her feelings but i know i just did. nobody understands what i was trying to say.

saturday morning, she subjected me as a selfish person in her status. well, she didnt mention my name but i knew it was for me. again, it hurts me a lot but i kept myself quiet.

then after the exam(i have an e.lit exam on saturday afternoon), i almost cry but managed to hold it back. it was hard for me to concentrate in the exam with that kind of condition.

because of that, i made my decision. i didnt really prepare to do this to her but she gave me no choice but to gave her the treatment of silence - hoping that she will understand that i was hurt by what she did.

so i updated my status for the 'last' time, pretended to be inactive.

'the prince will blinded thee and thou shall never taste his scent for decades. for thou hadst burnt the crown for thy own lust'

im not sure if you get what i meant by my status but i want you guys to think of it by urself. allow ur brain to work. (:

so i didnt contact her since last saturday afternoon till today. the only response i got from her was her missed call on late sunday. i tried to miss call her back half an hour after she missed call me(i tried to hold my self but i felt guilty, so yeah) but her phone died. thanks to god, the treatment is still active. i know, im weak as a man.

im waiting for her to apologise until then the treatment will still going. she got less than 2 weeks to do this and if there's no response, im afraid the relationship will have to come to an end. sadly, i hate to end it this way..

oh yeah, because of this stupid treatment i gave her, my jealousy grows weaker and weaker. so you know what it means right?

*sighs*

it seems i havent found the right girl yet but it's too early to say that. i hope things didnt go as i plan. love is something i need to help me to stand up.

okay, ill stop till here. im too tired. btw GP exam was AWESOME! hehs..

until then..

The Rose Blooms, The Bug Dies

listening to : Ushinawareta Fuukei No Yume by Rentrer en Soi

" happy 20th birthday, kayme! "

how i wish i could say that to her this morning. it was so hard for me to imagine my self doing that. i didnt even buy her a present for her 20th birthday. besides, it would be very awkward if i bought her a present out of a sudden. we didnt even say hi to each other for almost 6 months. just imagine how awkward it would be if i gave her a present?

nothing is easy in life, i know that. i wonder if she's expecting me to greet her. well, she didnt look much at me today. early in the morning when she passed by me, she quickly turned her face to the floor. before that she was smiling happily but it seemed that i broke all of that when she saw me. *sigh*

in the end gp class, she stole a few glances at my direction. i dont know why. then during lunch, i was supposed to have a meeting in the library with my team mates for tomorrow's match. in the library, i saw her studying and talking with her friends including vivi. i stopped for a while to look at her and then i went to meet my team mates.

but the meeting was cancelled. so i went out to the dining hall to meet wafy and have a smoke together. before we went out from the school for a smoke, i saw her and this time she didnt noticed me as she was busy talking with vivi.

after finished smoking, i went straight to my literature class. funny, i met her again at the notice board area with a group of friends but this time i realised her eyes was carefully watching me. she gave me this look as if she was disappointed because she was expecting a greet from me. im really sorry sweetheart. o~o

im just saying here. who knows right? i hope she didnt expect me to greet her because i dont want to disappoint her. actually, i met her a lot more than i stated above but it would be boring if i keep on saying the same thing in a row. it's very unlikely for me to meet her many times in a day unless im searching for her, that would be a different case. i hope she'll always be happy with her beloved ones.

happy birthday sweetheart..

i love you..

until then..

Lovely Eyes

listening to : minori - UVERworld

"let me see those eyes again sweetheart"

that was my facebook status last saturday morning. it was for kayme. i really miss that beautiful eyes staring at this poor soul.

that lovely rose really got my heart and still grabbing me tight. too bad our relationship is just a matter of saying 'hi' and 'bye' but that never concerns me, for my love towards her is true.

to me, watching her from distance is far more enough than having her. i know i dont deserve a girl like her. she's way too beautiful for me. you can say that our love life is like beauty and the beast. too bad the outcome is not the same as the story. nonetheless, i dont mind if i cant have her. love needs sacrifice, i know some people would say "take your chance man" but to me, love is not all being together and be happy. love is something we should enjoy seeing the person we love being able to smile and happy. if they're happy with the person that's currently with them, let them. there's no need for us to interfere.

alas, that saturday afternoon we had small party in our gp class. thanks to miss zari, she bought us 4 boxes of pizza for the entire class to eat. kayme and i ate two slices. i enjoyed watching her eating the pizza slowly. as always, that beautiful soul managed to steal my heart.

to make the story short, after the party ended i grabbed my bag to go home. as i always did before leaving the class, i will look upon her when i have chance and say bye to her silently. before leaving the class, i noticed her eyes were carefully watching me leaving her in the class with vivi.

i know it's not something big or something to proud about but it does make me happy. why? it has been a while since the last time she gave me the attention i need. she always avoided a direct eye contact with me which really frustrates me but i cannot force her to do that. it's her rights.

another moment that i want to write here is the moment where i got punished by miss zari for not being able to participate in a mythological quiz. i had to do some dance with a korean song and this really pissed me off. you know how much i hate korean songs right? the choice of song was made by winnie and it was "nobody but you" song. believe it or not i danced with the other group members and humilliate my self with an ugly dance. i know it sucks but it's worthed. if it's not because of kayme and the whole class sang that song together, i would be regretting my whole life doing that humilliating dance. i still remember the face she made that time while her right hand doing the "nobody but you" thing. it was lovely. ^^,

okay back to story, after leaving the class, i hopped in my dad's car. while on the way home i kept looking at the sky. i remember that afternoon was very cloudy, such a beautiful day but the beauty was not long as the black clouds starting to conquer the whole sky.

somehow, it reminded me the day where both of us were facing each other in school. the rainy day in katok. she was standing near me and kept looking at me as if she was saying "come to me, embrace me with thy words and seal this broken heart. im waiting". too bad, both of us only able to stare at each other till our dad came and picked us up.

*sighs*

i will regret that for my whole life. i didnt take my chance. i know, i suck. oh well, i guess our love is just a matter of looking each other and being together by distance.

the storms striked and broke my concentration. i realised that rain was pouring softly to the ground. after i reached home and put all my stuffs in my room. i took my chances opening the internet using my phone and update my facebook status to end my day.

"im glad that those eyes are still mine. i love you sweetheart"

until then..

A Morning of Nature

listening to : reminiscence~feelings not erased by yasunori mitsuda

the morning is quite lovely today. even the weather is quite pleasing although my face is directly infront of the sun.

im just relaxing now at the place where i dont think people will come around every morning. haha i guess im wrong, i met a few people who i recognize so much.

anyway, i dont really mind. they dont bother me at all. i know some people love to watch the sky and do their own work.. it's relaxing..

ahh, i love to see the blue sky combining their beauty with the green grass. i love the heat. i love to listen to the sound of the chirping birds. i really love nature..

kayme & hana .. <3

until then..

Looking back ..

listening to : without a trace - the GazettE

it's been a while there readers. i know i didnt update that much anymore. this is due to the free wireless connection has been cut since last week. curses! im craving for exist trace's new song damn it! also gazette too!

damn ..

oh yeah, it's been a long time since the last time i listened to "without a trace - the GazettE". now that im listening to it, it reminds me the first year i came to pte, katok. it was quite troublesome i guess. too much things happens, and it happens so fast.

i wonder what will happen this year. i know it's going to be a tough year for me. there are kayme, hana and A'level for me to think about. not to forget my friendly japanese 'freak' friends.

*sigh*

hmm, im planning on continuing my story last night but sadly im suffering a writer's block >.<" damn it! maybe next time. so aki, i guess you'll have to wait then..


will update more next time..


see ya~


until then..

Flowers

Music : Reminiscence ~ Feelings Not Erased ~ - Yasunori Mitsuda

*Sighs*

I'm facing some difficulties - I'm surrounded by four lovely flowers around me. Thus, giving me the feelings of wanting to have them all in my hands. For sure, one flower will never be mine since she'd been picked a long time ago by one gentleman whom i believe was the right one.

I have no regret of losing that one because that beauty doesnt even suite by a poor young man like me. I just hope that she will grow more beautiful in the hands of that gentleman. Even now, she's beautiful than ever.

Thanks to god, I have my own flower to take care of. I try my best to keep her safe in my hands. I hope she will continues to grow more beautiful along with the other roses. Unfortunately, there's one thing I'm afraid of...

The greediness inside me. It gradually controls my mind and feelings. As I told you, I'm surrounded by four lovely flowers which makes me want to posses all of them. It's not easy when you're surrounded by such a fascinating nature, which is very tempting. Everyday feels like a heavy challenge to me. Having this greediness live inside you is like having a voice inside your head telling you to have them and keeping them to yourself. Indeed, it would be great to have all of them.

No.. No.. No.. I have to get rid of it..

*Sighs*

If my heart is weak, I'll be eaten by the words whispering inside my brain, forgetting all the dignity I have. By the time that happens, the flower which is already in my hands will droop, losing all the beauty which she posses before.

and ..

I dont want that to happen. I hope I'll get rid of this feeling right away before I let those pitiful tears fall to the floor..

Until Then..

fourteen :/

current music : watch me bleed - scary kids scaring kids

it feels so cold tonight. thank god it doesnt rain tonight. so im able to enjoy the little things a bit. i could only see the sparkling stars tonight but not the moon ): tough luck i guess..

*sigh*

it's fourteen today, valentine's day and chinese new year. also a memorial day for sauzan or notykitz. i remember how special was this day used to be. *laughs* i must be foolish that time to think that relationship is going to be forever. well, that time i was too naive in all this things, i admit it but somehow it amazes me that this heart of mine can never stop thinking about the days where she and i used to have.. all the sad times, happy times and all the problematic situation.

come to think of it, it's been a year now since i broke my connection with her. i really miss her so much although i know i have to step out from this chaotic past. it's just i cant help myself when my mind rolled back thinking all the memories i had with her. to be honest, the only person i want in this world is her. that "noty" insolent girl.

but it's all over now.. the beautiful moment only last for a year and four months..

*sigh*

until then..

Song Review

STAY GOLD – Rentrer en Soi

My memories flicker in the glittering starlit sky
Embraced by the dreams and the sleep I’ve wished for

I send my thoughts to you,
Who is disappearing, again and again
This night that seems to be broken, is dyed in sighs

Those days were too dazzling
In the seasons that passed by brilliantly
Our guide meeting inside of fate

Don’t forget it, okay?
The meaning of the fact that
We were able to meet the smiles, the tears, the days
In which we all walked together

Since some day,
There was definitely light inside of my heart
Since the time when you were with me

The wind danced through the sky
Coloured in the days we pass through
Our guided parting
Embraced by destiny

The words I want to tell you now
Are “Thank You”, from all my heart
Because it’s due to the fact
That you were there
That I’m able to move into the future

No matter how many years pass by
The thoughts we piled up won’t lose their colour
Since we can surely meet again some day
Let’s laugh then and talk away the night with our memories

This moment now, surrounded by the holy night
Gets engraved into my memories for eternity

Don’t forget it, okay?
The meaning of the fact that
We were able to meet the smiles, the tears, the days
In which we all walked together

The words I want to tell you now
Are “Thank You”, from all my heart
Because it’s due to the fact
That you were there
That I’m able to move into the future


Choose a song of your own and using the above as your guide, write your own review! [25]


First of all, this review took me about 3-5 hours to complete. Since it’s a precious song for me and all the Rentrer en Soi fans, I want to make sure it’s perfect so it won’t hurt any of Rentrer en Soi fans. Before I start, I want to tell you that this song is a Japanese song from a band called Rentrer en Soi, just in case for those of you that is not familiar with the band. No offense by the way. *Laughs* The lyric up there is actually the translation to this song. The whole song was totally in Japanese. The song was written by their vocalist, Satsuki about 2 years ago in their last album “Ain Soph Aur” as a present to his fans. Not just that, the song is the last song that Rentrer en Soi played for their last one-man show before they disbanded.

The song was up to 7 minutes. The combination of melodious piano, drum and acoustic guitar made the song beautiful. With Satsuki beautiful vocal and lyric, the song could warm everyone heart. Looking at the lyrics, the story was about a noble man meeting a person who lighten his days and made his future. All the memories they shared is a precious treasure for both of them. But the noble man realized that someday this will come to an end. He was sure that both of them will be apart someday and when that happens, he wishes not to be forgotten for all the memories they shared together. He wants the person to remember all the “all the smiles the tears, the days” in which both of them “walk together” and for all that he says “Thank you” because of that person he was “able to move into the future”. He believes that no matter how many years passed, the memories will never fade and he also believes that they will meet again somewhere in the future. Thus, before they won’t be able to meet each other, he wants to enjoy their surroundings that is surrounded by the “Holy Night” talking and laughing about their memories and “engraved everything into” his “memories for eternity”

In reality, as I mentioned before, this song was written before the band disbanded and were performed as their last song on their last one-man show. It’s a matter of saying “Thanks” instead of “Good Bye” which would be very painful for the fans. The song was supposed to be a song that listened with smile, joy and happiness but it turned out to be the opposite due to the fact that the band performed it as the last song before they disbanded. I remember how everyone cried when the piano and Satsuki’s voice enters. Personally, the song was really beautiful and I really love it. Thanks to Satsuki and the band members, the song could warm this heart everytime thinking about the disappointing fact that Rentrer en Soi has disbanded. The memories I cherished with the band, watching them performing, enjoying their songs, laughing about the post in their blog will never be forgotten and will always STAY GOLD.

(524 words)


P/S : Just posting out of boredom :) and don't judge me for the mistake eh? this actually my GP assignment. nothing more than that. im just showing my love and care for this band :)

until then..

It's hard to say goodbye..

current music : v.e - ayu

what happened today?

nothing much. it's just that our english 'as' class is disbanded. so we have to move to GP express class. it sure was a sad moment for everyone especially me. why??

it's because of kayme. she and me are going to be seperated since she already got GP for her block 4. so it means that my only chance to stare and watch her beauty is only in my registration class. a disappointing fact i guess. *sigh* im sure gonna miss that girl.

but ..

there's but for this okay? dont get sad for me. there's 50% that both of us are still going to be together in GP. a friend told me that she had talked to the teacher that she wanted to drop her GP and take GP express with us. i bet it's because of vivi. vivi forced her to stay with us. i also noticed that she turned her head at my direction quite a few times as if she was figuring my reaction about. heheh i deliberately gave her a sad expression for her to know that im sad being seperated with her.

well, im not that sure if she really was looking at me but it's just im stating what i feel here (:

kayme, your beauty is the sun for my world. i love you sweetheart. thanks for trying to stay (:

"even if you're not allowed to drop your GP block 4 and you have to be there instead of being with us on GP express. it's still okay for me since i know how hard you want to be with us. thanks kayme. i love you.."

until then..

Sweet Kayme (:

hey..

i got home early today. i think about 10.50 am.. mahn, it was such a pain in the ass.. i have to meet that stupid tamin and brought my mother to see him in order to go home and because of that i got free lecture by my mom.. 'thanks' mom and fuck you tamin..

after i got home, i have to do all the chores left by my family. so there i go : doing the clothes, washing dishes, cleaning all the dust and more.. i was so tired. so i decided to rest my self on my comfy roses.

while trying to closed my eyes, i was thinking about kayme. she was so beautiful as always this morning. i got the thoughts of proposing her and how we'll be going together laughing and sharing love. then out of nowhere i realised that i was still in school. in my amazement i found myself on the rooftop of the school enjoying the beautiful scenery and the surprising 'cold' air.. my school uniform was awfully wet..

"you sure sweat a lot there"

i turned my head and have my lips carved the smile for the voice. it was kayme. to be honest, i was shocked by her sudden appearance. she approached me and pulled something from her pocket. she offered me her handkerchief. i was strucked by her action. realising that im not going to do anything, she wiped the sweat on my face and smiled. i couldnt do anything but gave her the same favour..

"it's hot up here, let us go down shall we?"

that time, i couldnt do or say anything but obey what she wants. her angelic expression is one thing that ill treasure for my whole life. we spent our evening walking around the school enjoying all the funny face expression from others. what's more, it seemed that we've known each other for a very long time. finally, after walking around the school she dragged me into one empty classroom. i didnt expect anything at first but then when she came near me, i now realised that she deliberately brought me around the school to checked the surroundings. by the time she came near me, my heart felt like having a non-stop earthquake and i found that her face was getting closer to mine. i made my decision to kiss her and propose after that. as the heat rises, i heard the door was knocked hardly. i rose up fast and opened the door only to find my brother asking me to get all the clothes i washed earlier. i turned back and found myself back in my room. dammit! it was only a dream..

*sigh*

i thought it was freaking real. oh well, maybe i was too excited because i get to say bye to her this morning. overall, i still found out that this heart is for her and only her. i love you beauty.. (:

until then..

the small sun

it seems that there is a little light for me to hold on in this entire darkness eventhough it couldnt warm this entire coldness but it helps a bit. for the entire week being in that pathetic state, it really was painful. to think that i have lost my faith and will to live in this world, i changed a lot. i even tried to kill myself again.

*sigh* honestly, this world is too cold for me to live with.. i wonder why those stupid feelings wont go..

*sigh* i lost the desire to have an angel as my saviour. life is too cruel for me. too cruel! but i wouldnt call it world if it go as i want. it's almost two years now, ever since that day, i forget how to smile sincerely. all of this time, holding to that fake happiness, i know that im just killing myself. but to think that im doing that for the sake of the people around me, the wounds heal a little. just a little.

*sigh*

maybe im supposed to do what i always did. to not let everyone see those beautiful pearl and not showing that u've have them..

i wonder how long will that little light stay? will it getting smaller or getting bigger?

*sigh*

farewell, for now..

Desperate

*sigh*

it's like i have visited this blog for everyday to check any updates but yet it's still the same as before.

most of the updates now are boring and didnt satisfied me. only short and lame update. life is keep on getting boring day by day. i dont know why im saying this but maybe it's because the emptiness of my heart.

seriously guys, im not really sure if it's okay for me to share this but i really need partner. i really miss the warm love from the girl i like. i maybe sound desperate but that's the truth.

i know this sound girly but everytime i look at everyone or my friends with their bf/gf, my heart cried out of jealousy. the time when i look at kim or any other girls that i adore, i really wish for them to talk with me while our eyes softly looking at each other - having them lying on my shoulder while i whispering to their ear, telling them "i love you"

*sigh* im really sick of this loneliness but it cant be helped, this is the path i choose. im trying hard in keeping my promise at the stupid girl who never appreciate my love.

sometime i wish that i never make that stupid promise.

*sigh*

until then ..

Refusal

i just got the mood to post something today. well, it's nothing important actually, i would love to keep it as my secret but naah, ill tell this time.

guys, nowadays, i can feel that im changing a lil bit. im keeping my feelings a lot more frequent than before. i dont tell people about my everyday problem like before where my blog usually updated at least 1 time in 3 days. probably because of my lazyness.

oh yeah, what im trying to tell you right now is about my older post with the title 'crush'. i think it was the post on late march.

well i met her today *grins* that girl, she's still beautiful like the first time i looked at her. she was the first girl that opened the locked cage for me. the only person who managed to grab my attention before kim. i wish i could tell her and everyone that i like her but naahh, ill keep it as my secret..

but too bad that girl *sigh* have a lot of fans which makes this nature of mine to refuse to continue to love her. everytime when i clicked on her status's comments, i could see that most of people gave her the comments of 'i hope we can be together' in different ways and style. i dislike this so much. ahh, silly me, i must be jealous. hehs.

anyway, i just knew about 4 hours ago that my kayme had deleted her facebook. so saddd *~*

okay then. ill stop till here.

until then..

notykitz memorial

hey. it's the fourteen of september today. i remember that last year september was a happy moment of my life although i was pressurised because of o level exam.

i still kept the notes of our convo during our first year anniversary. it really was a sweet memory, not only the notes but her recorded voices too. im listening to them right now. most of the recording was her laughter, her naughtiness, our planning for the future and a lil bit of her school problems.

my memories are now recall to the day where we nearly broke up because of the unforgivable thing that she'd done. it was so painful but sweet. the sweet thing was how she tried to convinced me about her love, how she told me that no one can replace me in her heart and how she told me that she want me. i miss all of that..

notykitz forever, farulsauzan, 3012512, 2312[14] and many more. all of those are used to be on my display name or nick. but it's all gone now. everything has fade. no more happiness between this two souls. hatred were born after that tragic day.

today is supposed to be our two years relationship but it seems that two years is nothing but a mere dream. so long baby, i guess this pain will never stop from bleeding. i wish you for a better life.

when two souls found one heart..
they hold it together with both of their hands..
when one of the souls found another heart..
it gets distracted and its grip weakened..
processing the falling of the heart as the result..
so there was the scattering sound of the broken heart..

until then..

hunger for your love.

it's been nearly four days since i saw you hanging around at the school with your friends.

i miss you so much sweetheart. i truly miss you. i wish we're so close baby so there will always a reason for me to approach you. this feeling is killing me. i could fall if i try to stand up. im getting and weaker because of it.

silly me, now i regret the fact that i didnt tell you about this little heart. a heart that always give me your images. all the way you smile, the way you bite ur lips, waving me and saying goodbye, the way u laugh, and more sweetheart.

i wish i could picture you on how much do i miss you but it cannot be describe by words. it's out of this world baby. saying 'i miss you' for thousand times wouldnt help me to get rid of it.

i need you at my sleep..
i need you to talk with me..
i need you to smile and laugh with me..
i need you in my dreams..
i need you to be by myside..
im so in love with you kayme-chan..
please be mine..
eventhough it's just for a second..
im so desperate to see you kayme baby..

until then..

In Love

*grins*

hehs. so today was my last exam. i finished the 3 hours questions in 1 hour and 45 minutes. i was so excited to get my freedom so i managed to finished it earlier than it suppose to be. but unfortunately after everything was done the teachers wouldnt let me out because it was still too early. i said WHAT THE HELL! shxt! i got so much troubled in finishing it early and now i have to wait for another 1 hour and 15 minutes stupidly doing nothing? damn.

i grumbled for the whole 15 minutes and the teachers came to tell me that they'll let me out on 10.30. so another 30 minutes then? my geography teacher gave a piece of paper to fill my boredom. so i draw and scratch something for the next 30 minutes. i wish i could upload it here to show you guys but maybe next time larr.

anyway as soon as i went out of the room. i could feel all the light was focusing on me. i could smell the freedom. the taste of freedom. oh im so HAPPY xD HAHA

oh yeah. the title? you guys must be wondering why i wrote it 'in love'. anyway it's nothing special. im just stating that im falling in love with waka's danger gang. what i mean is her voice, dont get me wrong. but waka herself also can la, she's cute ;)

i cant stop from listening to her duty song. waka's voice is so cute that it made me keep on saying the word 'cute' back to back as her voice starts to sing.

im think im going to hunt more for danger gang song :D hehe

until then. (: