specially made for my dear love (:

she was an angel - a wingless one.

the moment she came to my life..
a sparkling bright light altered the dark sky of mine.

ahh, lovely ..

she brought hope to this world of despair..
with rain pouring endlessly from the chaotic sky..
she cleansed every tiny black bits
of my life..
killing the false utophia i long to banish..

will thou come with me? she offered.
her soft fingers held my face and gave me a stunning smile.

"it's time to end your current life and start a new one with me. i shall bring you to the heaven thou desire to see..
let us go home and you shall be my guest tonight"

.... i was left speechless but i knew if i decline this offer, i will be regretting my whole life.

she smiled and offered her hand. i smiled and walked beside her knowing the journey will be a long and yet a happy one.

i love you hana <3

fourteen :/

current music : watch me bleed - scary kids scaring kids

it feels so cold tonight. thank god it doesnt rain tonight. so im able to enjoy the little things a bit. i could only see the sparkling stars tonight but not the moon ): tough luck i guess..

*sigh*

it's fourteen today, valentine's day and chinese new year. also a memorial day for sauzan or notykitz. i remember how special was this day used to be. *laughs* i must be foolish that time to think that relationship is going to be forever. well, that time i was too naive in all this things, i admit it but somehow it amazes me that this heart of mine can never stop thinking about the days where she and i used to have.. all the sad times, happy times and all the problematic situation.

come to think of it, it's been a year now since i broke my connection with her. i really miss her so much although i know i have to step out from this chaotic past. it's just i cant help myself when my mind rolled back thinking all the memories i had with her. to be honest, the only person i want in this world is her. that "noty" insolent girl.

but it's all over now.. the beautiful moment only last for a year and four months..

*sigh*

until then..

notykitz memorial

hey. it's the fourteen of september today. i remember that last year september was a happy moment of my life although i was pressurised because of o level exam.

i still kept the notes of our convo during our first year anniversary. it really was a sweet memory, not only the notes but her recorded voices too. im listening to them right now. most of the recording was her laughter, her naughtiness, our planning for the future and a lil bit of her school problems.

my memories are now recall to the day where we nearly broke up because of the unforgivable thing that she'd done. it was so painful but sweet. the sweet thing was how she tried to convinced me about her love, how she told me that no one can replace me in her heart and how she told me that she want me. i miss all of that..

notykitz forever, farulsauzan, 3012512, 2312[14] and many more. all of those are used to be on my display name or nick. but it's all gone now. everything has fade. no more happiness between this two souls. hatred were born after that tragic day.

today is supposed to be our two years relationship but it seems that two years is nothing but a mere dream. so long baby, i guess this pain will never stop from bleeding. i wish you for a better life.

when two souls found one heart..
they hold it together with both of their hands..
when one of the souls found another heart..
it gets distracted and its grip weakened..
processing the falling of the heart as the result..
so there was the scattering sound of the broken heart..

until then..