Lovelorn or .... ?

listening to : some random song played by moon

ahh ..

it has been a while since the day i stepped my foot on the school's ground. Despite me as the person who hates school, I kinda miss it so much.

Maybe it's because of my friends? or is it also because of that girl?

I kinda long to meet her and see that beautiful angelic face.

Anyway, i didnt expect to miss waking up in the morning, going one on one with my dad in the car in the morning silence with only us talking with the wind and then as i stepped my feet on the school's ground it's time to meet all my friends - going crazy with them.

it's such a fine morning to start with.

in school, i never think that i will miss to sit with the j-club family - playing cards, joking and lastly poking each other.

also, it's kinda sad for me to see all my juniors going to the registration class to take their attendance while me having myself sitting down on the bench of school's canteen. if I'm allowed i want to join them but it's all over for me now.

my two years life in katok is almost on its end, soon i will find my self sitting and sleeping - doing nothing on my bed. the never ending rest i longed for after these years yet it's something that i'm afraid to face.

but overall, i guess i did miss all of that.

today is the day for me to start dancing with my fingers, writing some beautiful words and shares it with the examiner in UK. I wonder if the magic fingers are still with me?

*sighs*

nonetheless, i have to do better in my exam later (:

Forever Friends

In the course of life's journey
we rub shoulders with many people,
some are warm and open,
others afraid and closed.
Some we connect with,
others come and soon are gone.
Some linger awhile,
but every now and then...
either through fate or by chance,
or because of a Higher Power...
in an unexpected moment
we are touched by a smile
that lingers in the memory.
We meet again and the more
we do the more we know
that we have met a friend,
and we'll be friends forever.
Next to God
there is no greater gift in life
than a forever-friend.
I hope that we can be such friends.

Theater Boy (:

it was in a theater

i saw this boy ..

from the first glance,

i knew he was in pain ..

lucky for him, he was an actor..

a good one that could stun everyone with his tremendous acting skills

and made everyone leave with huge appalling applause..

living in the world of theatre,

he greeted everyone

with smile ..

a joyous one that could cheer all the audience around the stage..

a comfortable smile yet disturbing..

chaotic inside but visually merry..

i wondered what made him in pain?

he was my favourite actor of all time..

he lived in a luxurious life and he made everyone happy..

but why? why was he in pain?

frustation condemned me,

and i couldnt find an answer,

i wanted to know his secret,

this secret of him was killing me

but ..

in the end, i left ..

frustrated ..

sad with curiousity engraving me ..

earlier before,

i saw a mirror ..

and a reflection of an empty theater ..

with no audience and no actor ..

i could see no body but empty seats..

lastly, i realised something..

it was the curtain ..

a closed curtain ..

Ugly Duck

she is an ugly duck,
living in the world of hatred,
and cries everyday
less jealousy in life but filled with emptiness.
with the full impression of being ugly, she stands as a social outcast.
that silent nature she possesed makes everything worse.

yet behind that hideous nature
i find her to be sweet,
inside her is a pure white heart,
a lovely one that can steal someone's attention,
mesmerises their hearts,
and grabs them without mercy
a poor innocent being with beautiful wings,
a scary nature but a wonderful one.

no eyes can see this,
only those who are chosen can see this fortune,
how lucky i am as a human,
to be able to catch a glimpse of a breath-taking sight.

chaotic.kimi

specially made for my dear love (:

she was an angel - a wingless one.

the moment she came to my life..
a sparkling bright light altered the dark sky of mine.

ahh, lovely ..

she brought hope to this world of despair..
with rain pouring endlessly from the chaotic sky..
she cleansed every tiny black bits
of my life..
killing the false utophia i long to banish..

will thou come with me? she offered.
her soft fingers held my face and gave me a stunning smile.

"it's time to end your current life and start a new one with me. i shall bring you to the heaven thou desire to see..
let us go home and you shall be my guest tonight"

.... i was left speechless but i knew if i decline this offer, i will be regretting my whole life.

she smiled and offered her hand. i smiled and walked beside her knowing the journey will be a long and yet a happy one.

i love you hana <3

Arggghhh -.-

listening to : Ryuushi Ni Tokete Nagareru Namida To Memai No Sou Ni Ranhansha Suru Saisei No Koe - Satsuki

i miss blogging. i miss writing. i miss everything in here.

currently, i have the urge to write but not knowing what to write. i miss expressing my feelings in this dark world of roses.

about five hours ago, i commented on someone's photo. i was joking about it but apparently someone(not the photo owner) barged in and said shit about me. too bad, i know this someone. a friend from friendster. she's beautiful but out of expectation she possessed this laser mouth - shooting everything without looking.

a bad breath beautiful girl. that's what i described her. i was shocked to know that actually.

i hate to talk about this actually but seriously, it's been so daamn long since the last time i met a beautiful girl with a bad mouth.

to me, this kind of girl is very damn ugly. it's not nice to see a girl that says crappy words like shit, fuck or any vulgar words.
to be honest, they look like a bitch to me.

*sighs*

anyway, i can see that i got a lot of visitors in this blog. well, they're not really a visitor but more like a spammer.

i'm pissed off..

until then..

Rain

listening to : MINORI - UVERworld

Tears, nothing but sadness..
solitude plus heartache..
cleaning the happiness around..
killing every smile to the ground..
was it because of you?
no, but also yes.
this neglection of pure love..
everything was a sacrifice..
tis' violent wind in heart..
putting the mind in chaotic state..
come rain.. come rain..
wash away all my pain..

made by chaotic.kimi

no copying please. thank you.

Dreams

listening to : the splashing rain

i've been experiencing 3 beautiful dreams in a row. once in the last 3 days. it was a lil bit odd for me but it made me happy although it was a weird one.

first dream was a wild one. i dont want to talk about it :s

second, i dreamt about watching satsuki's concert. hee, a very happy one.

third, i dreamt about kayme. ^^ the best of all.

in that dream, i was in a classroom with kayme and as usual vivi was there too. kayme and i were having a wonderful conversation. we were like friends and i get to poke her and hold her hands everytime i want.

vivi can only watch and teases us which made me happy because she was teasing about me and her being together as a couple.

we did so many things in that dream. unfortunately, i cant remember a thing beside me poking her and holding her hands.

so sweet.. ^^

today, early morning. it turned out to be a nightmare. a stupid one. i was dragged into having a quarrel with my dad because of stupid things and sadly it's also happened in reality.

dont want to make this longer. family matter.

until then..

Dream

listening to : the sound of the spinning fan

it was a short dream btw. i dreamt about him(wafy). it was in katok. i dont know how the hell i got there but the dream started with me standing up at one place looking at one guy who seemed to be waiting for someone. that dude was chinese, i havent met wafy yet, so relax eh? :p haha!

the chinese guy was holding one familliar bag. red and white striped bag - kayme's bag. i was like 'damn! what the fuck that this guy have with her'. so i got mad right. then a few minutes later kayme came out of nowhere(cant remember where either classroom or toilet) and went to meet that guy.

i got jealous but as you all know im a cool guy so i kept myself down :p and then wafy disturbed me and asked me to accompany him.

now this is where the shit part happened. he was sad right and i acting like a brother tried to calm him by advising him to do this and that but instead of listening, he pissed me off by saying something rude

(sorry i cant remember any of the conversation :s)

then i grabbed his shirt, and told him something. i think it was all about how he should treat people and stuff like that or it was merely a coversation of me challenging him to a fight. i remember that we did this exactly infront of the SA room. haha!

all of a sudden, we became the center of attention. a lot of people were looking at us. now, this surprised me because there was no people in the school before except me,kayme,chinese dude and wafy. shit isnt it?

okay, last thing i did in the dream was leaving him standing there alone infront of the SA and yelled

"YOU STUPID ASSHOLE! I DONT KNOW YOU ANYMORE! DONT EVER TRY TO CALL MY NAME! DONT EVER TRY TO MEET ME AND APOLOGISE! I HATE YOU SO DAMN MUCH! YOU'RE A FUCKING LOSER!"

after i said that i left and ... i heard a crazy laugh behind me. it was him, he was standing there and then kneel laughing like a madman.

that's all..

until then..

Miss Me?

listening to : awake - secondhand serenade.

hey, im back.. i miss blogging so much. i miss expressing my feelings to this page. it's good to be back.

sorry for not being active, quite busy with exams. qualifying exams was extremely hard especially accounting. i screwed up my accounting so bad. i bet my group tutor gonna lecture me the next time i come to class. >.<

well, last wednesday was my freaking bad day and it continued till sunday. i swear to god, it turned me into emo-ish for a while. it sucks, i know. dont judge me for this, you bastard . haha

first, it was because of accounting mock exam. damn accounting! curses for the founder of that subject. it gave me hell. i sat there for 2 hours and a half like stupid doing nothing as i didnt know any of the answer. i know im going to fail my accounting -.-' shit..

second, it was because of prototype. it's a game. the game was awesome. for me, it was best game ever created. the only problem was i cant play the game in my laptop because of my directX. sucks, i know. *sigh* but then, later that thursday afternoon i went to the mall with friends. im not interested in mall, so i went to the 'komunis shop' to buy some games. i was hoping that i could find the prototype and found them. yeay! borrowed friends money and buy them. on my way to the counter, i saw another game which caught my attention. it was a game by square enix named 'the last remnant'. i was like 'shit! which one to choose?'. i've been always a fan of rpg games since the first time i play final fantasy. after thinking for one hour, i decided to buy the last remnant one because i believed it will provide me the latest directX and it will allows me to install prototype as it's only require 9.0c directX.

then we went back to school, install the directX and copied a new prototype from najib. yeah, the game works. of course it works, the last remnant provides me the latest directX which is directX 10.

thursday evening, which was around 6, i checked my fb and opened up my girlfriend's page. this was the shit thing that made me so not in the mood after having a tough time with exams and games. as soon as the page finished its loading, i saw my girlfriend's status mentioning a SPECIFIC name going to the mall watching tekken. i know, that guy is nothing special but fuck that, my mind wasnt prepared for any of this shit. so, i was jealous. seriously, that ruined my whole day and my fucking mood man. i was like relax dude, it's okay, he's just a friend of her but it didnt work out. insted my mind kept on questioning my self, who's this bastard that she's going with. my curiousity grows bigger and my anger engraged.

but ..

i didnt show her my anger. instead i told her, that i was tired when she gave me a wall. after that she didnt reply any of my wall and she put on her status as 'not in the mood'. i was always this soft when it comes to relationship.

*sighs*

the next day, i updated my status saying that 'i hate the fact that i love you'. as expected, she liked my status and i didnt say anything. i know she's going ask me about this and 3 hours after that, she did ask. my real intention of that status is for the sake of her. what i meant was i hate jealousy, i dont hate her. i do love her but as my love grows bigger so do my jealousy. i cant control this. jealousy could hurt her and i hate to hurt her feelings but i know i just did. nobody understands what i was trying to say.

saturday morning, she subjected me as a selfish person in her status. well, she didnt mention my name but i knew it was for me. again, it hurts me a lot but i kept myself quiet.

then after the exam(i have an e.lit exam on saturday afternoon), i almost cry but managed to hold it back. it was hard for me to concentrate in the exam with that kind of condition.

because of that, i made my decision. i didnt really prepare to do this to her but she gave me no choice but to gave her the treatment of silence - hoping that she will understand that i was hurt by what she did.

so i updated my status for the 'last' time, pretended to be inactive.

'the prince will blinded thee and thou shall never taste his scent for decades. for thou hadst burnt the crown for thy own lust'

im not sure if you get what i meant by my status but i want you guys to think of it by urself. allow ur brain to work. (:

so i didnt contact her since last saturday afternoon till today. the only response i got from her was her missed call on late sunday. i tried to miss call her back half an hour after she missed call me(i tried to hold my self but i felt guilty, so yeah) but her phone died. thanks to god, the treatment is still active. i know, im weak as a man.

im waiting for her to apologise until then the treatment will still going. she got less than 2 weeks to do this and if there's no response, im afraid the relationship will have to come to an end. sadly, i hate to end it this way..

oh yeah, because of this stupid treatment i gave her, my jealousy grows weaker and weaker. so you know what it means right?

*sighs*

it seems i havent found the right girl yet but it's too early to say that. i hope things didnt go as i plan. love is something i need to help me to stand up.

okay, ill stop till here. im too tired. btw GP exam was AWESOME! hehs..

until then..

welcome and fuck off

listening to : in a lucid dream - satsuki

im feeling so lazy tonight and a little moody..

hmm..



welcome to my new visitor..

it's great to know that someone actually found my blog but i dont really appreciate it so much because some people would criticized what i wrote here. especially when they came here without introducing themselves and start saying shit about me and all my writings.

what's more fuck up is when they're criticizing my feelings. i mean come on, it's people rights to express their feelings. what im saying here is try to understand what people feels and not giving some freaking advice like you're telling that you fucking know everything about me.

i know what im doing. im just saying what my heart feels, im releasing the steam off, get it? i hate it when people saying " how in the hell do you know that she's looking at you? ". it's because i saw it dumbass.

i dont care whether i got her or not, i dont care whether she love me or not, i dont care what she's doing or how she feels about me.

i've been mentioning this all the time and im sick of explaining this again and again to some stupid ignorant bastard who keeps stalking people's life. i know that im not going to get her or have her to be my girlfriend. both of us are totally in a different world, we will never be together. why? both of us have different races and different background. second, she has a boyfriend and they've been together for more than 5 years. i dont want to be called ' a girlfriend stealer '. it's not like im saying that i cant or i can flirt with her anytime that i want. you need to know that i have my own girlfriend and i love her. what? i should dump my girlfriend and go for something that you dont know whether you're gonna get or not? that's stupid.

i know you'll have this in your mind. kimi is a hypocritical person who only thinks about himself. fuck your own shit man! let me tell you something, love is not all about having them nor being with them. it's beautiful to see someone is willing to suffer just to see their beloved one happy.

im not saying that im suffering. im okay with the things going on right now. you people need to know that my love to her and my girlfriend is totally different. my love to her is like me loving the nature. how i enjoy being in the green field and looking at the wonderful blue sky, that's how i love her. i dont need to be with her. to see her is already enough for me okay?
as long as she's happy, im fine.

my love towards my girlfriend is more like the typical love that you or someone else have. "i need her. i want her. i miss her. i love her like she's only woman in this world." that's how much i love my girlfriend.

i dont care whether you understand me or not. that's your fucking business and i dont need people to understand me. no one in this world understand me fully. im a complicated guy. my thoughts are something you bastard cannot read and predict. so stop saying something like you know me. i hate that motherfucker.

i bet you ignorant fools didnt read the description about me on the right side of my blog. that's why you bullshit is still giving me comments and advice about what i wrote here.

so if you hate what i wrote in this blog, you can go to hell and visit some crappy blog that you think you can mess with.

just so you know, this blog is what i called my public 'diary'. i can write whatever i want and say whatever i want in here. im pretending that you guys cant even read what i write here because it's "locked". so if you people gave me some comments that i dont want to see, ill just simply write my response for you.

and my final words for you "mind your own stupid business bullshit, get your own blog and write some of your own shit there. get a fucking life and stop being a busybody"

until then..

The Rose Blooms, The Bug Dies

listening to : Ushinawareta Fuukei No Yume by Rentrer en Soi

" happy 20th birthday, kayme! "

how i wish i could say that to her this morning. it was so hard for me to imagine my self doing that. i didnt even buy her a present for her 20th birthday. besides, it would be very awkward if i bought her a present out of a sudden. we didnt even say hi to each other for almost 6 months. just imagine how awkward it would be if i gave her a present?

nothing is easy in life, i know that. i wonder if she's expecting me to greet her. well, she didnt look much at me today. early in the morning when she passed by me, she quickly turned her face to the floor. before that she was smiling happily but it seemed that i broke all of that when she saw me. *sigh*

in the end gp class, she stole a few glances at my direction. i dont know why. then during lunch, i was supposed to have a meeting in the library with my team mates for tomorrow's match. in the library, i saw her studying and talking with her friends including vivi. i stopped for a while to look at her and then i went to meet my team mates.

but the meeting was cancelled. so i went out to the dining hall to meet wafy and have a smoke together. before we went out from the school for a smoke, i saw her and this time she didnt noticed me as she was busy talking with vivi.

after finished smoking, i went straight to my literature class. funny, i met her again at the notice board area with a group of friends but this time i realised her eyes was carefully watching me. she gave me this look as if she was disappointed because she was expecting a greet from me. im really sorry sweetheart. o~o

im just saying here. who knows right? i hope she didnt expect me to greet her because i dont want to disappoint her. actually, i met her a lot more than i stated above but it would be boring if i keep on saying the same thing in a row. it's very unlikely for me to meet her many times in a day unless im searching for her, that would be a different case. i hope she'll always be happy with her beloved ones.

happy birthday sweetheart..

i love you..

until then..

Lovely Eyes

listening to : minori - UVERworld

"let me see those eyes again sweetheart"

that was my facebook status last saturday morning. it was for kayme. i really miss that beautiful eyes staring at this poor soul.

that lovely rose really got my heart and still grabbing me tight. too bad our relationship is just a matter of saying 'hi' and 'bye' but that never concerns me, for my love towards her is true.

to me, watching her from distance is far more enough than having her. i know i dont deserve a girl like her. she's way too beautiful for me. you can say that our love life is like beauty and the beast. too bad the outcome is not the same as the story. nonetheless, i dont mind if i cant have her. love needs sacrifice, i know some people would say "take your chance man" but to me, love is not all being together and be happy. love is something we should enjoy seeing the person we love being able to smile and happy. if they're happy with the person that's currently with them, let them. there's no need for us to interfere.

alas, that saturday afternoon we had small party in our gp class. thanks to miss zari, she bought us 4 boxes of pizza for the entire class to eat. kayme and i ate two slices. i enjoyed watching her eating the pizza slowly. as always, that beautiful soul managed to steal my heart.

to make the story short, after the party ended i grabbed my bag to go home. as i always did before leaving the class, i will look upon her when i have chance and say bye to her silently. before leaving the class, i noticed her eyes were carefully watching me leaving her in the class with vivi.

i know it's not something big or something to proud about but it does make me happy. why? it has been a while since the last time she gave me the attention i need. she always avoided a direct eye contact with me which really frustrates me but i cannot force her to do that. it's her rights.

another moment that i want to write here is the moment where i got punished by miss zari for not being able to participate in a mythological quiz. i had to do some dance with a korean song and this really pissed me off. you know how much i hate korean songs right? the choice of song was made by winnie and it was "nobody but you" song. believe it or not i danced with the other group members and humilliate my self with an ugly dance. i know it sucks but it's worthed. if it's not because of kayme and the whole class sang that song together, i would be regretting my whole life doing that humilliating dance. i still remember the face she made that time while her right hand doing the "nobody but you" thing. it was lovely. ^^,

okay back to story, after leaving the class, i hopped in my dad's car. while on the way home i kept looking at the sky. i remember that afternoon was very cloudy, such a beautiful day but the beauty was not long as the black clouds starting to conquer the whole sky.

somehow, it reminded me the day where both of us were facing each other in school. the rainy day in katok. she was standing near me and kept looking at me as if she was saying "come to me, embrace me with thy words and seal this broken heart. im waiting". too bad, both of us only able to stare at each other till our dad came and picked us up.

*sighs*

i will regret that for my whole life. i didnt take my chance. i know, i suck. oh well, i guess our love is just a matter of looking each other and being together by distance.

the storms striked and broke my concentration. i realised that rain was pouring softly to the ground. after i reached home and put all my stuffs in my room. i took my chances opening the internet using my phone and update my facebook status to end my day.

"im glad that those eyes are still mine. i love you sweetheart"

until then..

REGULUS

listening to : -LEON-'s REGULUS

i believe the intention from this mini-album is to show yuji's capability of being a singer. a lot of scream, growl and high pitch vocal was shown in their 3 songs.

as what i found in the interview, yuji's music influence is dir en grey. so i guess, probably he's trying to be the next kyo.. it's interesting as yuji seems capable to reach kyo's level. i hope he'll keep improving xD

so, 3 vocalist now : Satsuki, Kyo and Yuji..

and i love the three of them..

until then.. xD

Interview with -LEON-

Okay, I got new band to follow..



1. Please introduce yourselves and what part you play in the band.
YUJI: I’m YUJI, the vocals.
SHIN: I’m SHIN, the guitar.
KOYA: I’m KOYA, the guitar.
YAMATO: I’m YAMATO, the bass.
MASASHI: I’m MASASHI, the drums.



2. How did each of you get interested in performing music?
YUJI: I became interested in music because my older brother was playing the guitar.
SHIN: I became interested in music as I was mimicking my older sister’s piano when I was small.
KOYA: My dad was a crazy fan of Eikichi Yazawa… (laughs)
YAMATO: I don’t know… because I don’t have memory of my childhood!
MASASHI: I saw X JAPAN on TV a long time ago, and I thought this is it for me.




3. How did you decide on the name -LEON-? What’s the concept behind the band?
SHIN: We were trying to come up with a band name while we were having lunch at McDonald’s. The topic went off to the movie “Leon” and we were like “If we like Leon so much, the band name can be Leon!” Well, it was a spur of the moment. (laughs)
YUJI: We were talking about the anime by Osamu Tezuka, “Kimba the White Lion,” being re-aired on TV… wait, we went off the topic again, right? (laughs)
YAMATO: We’re still trying to discover the concept behind the band.



4. Please tell us how the band was formed? How did you meet?
YAMATO: I was in the same band with the guitarist, SHIN, since high school.
YUJI: Later on, I met the two through my friend and we started playing together.
KOYA & MASASHI: We were invited right before our former band broke up… What do you call that in English? “Headhunting?” (laughs)



5. Why did you decide to become a visual kei band?
ALL: Visual kei people are all handsome and pretty, right? So we thought we’d be popular among girls!



6. “REGULUS” was your first mini-album release. What was it like working on this project?
YUJI: We were all students and didn’t have money. So we tried to do everything ourselves when we started making this album. It was really hard because we were running out of time because of school or work. (laughs) But, we’re happy to complete this album thanks to help from many people.



7. Was there a specific theme behind “REGULUS?” Do you have a certain message that you would like to communicate through your music?
YAMATO: The main idea was to create a point of origin for us. We recorded the main tracks we’ve been performing since our first live shows. The CD is filled with what we want to express and what we want to deliver. When you listen to this CD, you will know -LEON-’s sound and message. This CD is like our business card.



8. What new songs are you working on now? When will they be released?
SHIN: It’s still not at a point where we can tell you the details, but it will be a track with a completely different feel than our previous release. We will update you as soon as we can.



9. Who are your musical influences? (Japanese and worldwide)
YUJI: Dir en grey for me.
SHIN: For me, Mötley Crüe and Pantera, for sure. For Japanese, Kuroyume and ZIGGY.
KOYA: It’s GLAY.
YAMATO: L’Arc〜en〜Ciel and Stanley Clarke.
MASASHI: X JAPAN and IRON MAIDEN.



10. How did you decide the style of your PV for “Kokou ni Tou Tsuioku no Kagen no Tsuki”?
KOYA: Again, we didn’t have much money, so we checked our wallets. (laughs)
MASASHI: It was all about how we can make it with low cost. (laughs)
KOYA: How poor are we…



11. How do you prepare before a live show? What’s the first thing you do after the show is over?
ALL: “BEER!” (laughs)
YAMATO: I meditate in the restroom right before the performance. (laughs)
SHIN: I find all the picks from the stage floor. It’s like “a ritual” for me. (laughs)



12. Can you please tell us something cool or funny that another member has done during a live performance?
YUJI: SHIN, didn’t you break a bone turning the guitar around during a live before?
SHIN: … It was super painful. I couldn’t even think about the live when the bone was broken at the first song. (laughs)
YAMATO: Cool. (laughs)
SHIN: YAMATO injured a guest after kicking the monitor down during a live, too. (laughs)
YAMATO: …I remember that now! (laughs)



13. Outside of music, what special talents or hobbies do you each have?
YUJI: Basketball for me. I was the top player since the first grade during high school.
SHIN: Cooking. I’m better at handling knives and frying pans than guitars. (laughs)
KOYA: Riding a motorcycle!
YAMATO: Playing darts. I can’t win a girl’s heart, though. (laughs)
MASASHI: Games…and manga.



14. Have any of the members traveled overseas? If so, where? Where would each of you like to travel next?
YAMATO: Is it only me who has been overseas? I’ve been to Australia and Thailand. In both Australia and Thailand, all I did was eating. I don’t really have memory of anything else. I just love to eat. (laughs) I was so surprised because a coke was gigantic at McDonald’s in Australia. (laughs)
MASASHI: I want to go to the moon.
ALL: That’s not even within the Earth! (Big laughter)
SHIN: I’d like to take a long time and travel around the world to study cooking. This is my long-term dream.
KOYA: I just want to ride a chopper on Route 66!
YUJI: Where is Route 66?
KOYA: …don’t know. (laughs) And, what about you, YUJI?
YUJI: Okinawa!!
ALL: That’s in Japan! (Big laughter)



15. Please give a message to our readers.
MASASHI: We might go to your country someday. Please tell me about good games when I go. (laughs)
YAMATO: This interview was a lot of fun. We will be having live shows in many places, and I hope we can all enjoy music together. Through music, I’d like to meet many people regardless of countries and races.
KOYA: I will show you the real power of Japanese music!
SHIN: Thanks to the internet, people from different countries can listen to our music, get to know us, and watch our live videos. But, there are many things that cannot be delivered through videos on monitors or through speakers. Soon, I want to perform in the countries of the people who are reading this, so please keep an eye on us!
YUJI: Someday I will show our live performances for the readers outside Japan. Wait for it!

P/S : Thanks to ST.net for introducing this cool band.. Most of the CREDITS should be given to ST.net (:

Boredom

listening to : nothing

hello?

im really bored right now. i got nothing to do rather than playing my mobile phone. by the way, im in my mom's office right now. my mom is having an overtime work. i asked her to picked me up at school since my dad is lazy to come and pick me up at school. so yeah, i ended up fooling around in my mom's office.

*sigh*

hmm, im bored hereeeeeeeeeee >.
know what? this morning, i was planning on continuing my chaos legion as soon as i finish rehearsal this afternoon. but i guess, i have to wait then..

*sigh*

borrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!!!! thanks dad.. pfffffft~

until then..

A Morning of Nature

listening to : reminiscence~feelings not erased by yasunori mitsuda

the morning is quite lovely today. even the weather is quite pleasing although my face is directly infront of the sun.

im just relaxing now at the place where i dont think people will come around every morning. haha i guess im wrong, i met a few people who i recognize so much.

anyway, i dont really mind. they dont bother me at all. i know some people love to watch the sky and do their own work.. it's relaxing..

ahh, i love to see the blue sky combining their beauty with the green grass. i love the heat. i love to listen to the sound of the chirping birds. i really love nature..

kayme & hana .. <3

until then..

Forgive Me..

listening to : shinwa - rentrer en soi

i know a lot of my previous post is full of hatred and anger. i cant help it. ever since the day when i saw my own bestfriend got hit by one particular person, i cant even control my anger.

it hurts me a lot y'know? it seems that the old me have come back to life.

the time when he got hit in front of my eyes, i was about to erupt but that guy got lucky that i managed to hold it because of my other friend.

yeah, the anger that i managed to hold that time was a violent flame that is craving to burn one whole forest and demolish everything to dust.

it's good that i get to hold my self that time but unfortunately it has pull the trigger that should not be pull. now, im very sensitive to hear something that is related with hatred. it'll make me go outrage.

even now, im easily get angry for some stupid matter and this cause me troubles. every time after i lost control of myself, i know something bad will happen. the thing that i realised since i was a kid, every time im mad, i lost my sense of human. i dont care whether that person is my dad, my brother, my sister, an adult, a friend or even a girl, i will make them taste my rage and i do not care what will happen after that.

but ..

as soon as i calm down, i will think about the thing i did and for sure ill regret about what i've done. my heart cries because of this, i dont want anything bad happen to my friends, my family or my fellow acquaintance.

and ..

i hate myself because of this. im afraid that i cannot fix this. it'll takes a lot of time for me to learn to control this mad rage within this chaotic heart. the only option i have now is keeping myself silent and away from people.

heh ..


isolation ...


*sigh*

i cant believe that this will happen again. it has been a while. im sure some people will disagree about this but i have no choice. this is for my own good and for other people too..

until then..

One Lost Piece Of a Jigsaw

listening to : taiyou no todokanai basho - RES

i'm getting tired of this. last year was such a hell of misery and this year, im living with a total hatred. if last year was because of love, this year is all about friends.

i dont think i hate a friend but friends. i hate a lot of friends. some friends i know is bullshitting me at my absence. fuck you!

some friends thought that im a liar. i told them something i SEE and they proved me wrong. fuck that part and not just that, they also sarcastically wrote something about me - saying that i dont accept the truth because i fear humilliation.

what kind of friend is that?

oh yeah, i realised that some group that i used to hang out with. a group that they so-called 'BESTFRIEND FOREVER' didnt really talk much with me. sometimes, they left me behind without saying anything. i feel left out and yet i stay with them but for now, my patience is running thin and im afraid that im going to make a stupid decision ever which is abandoning them.

cool eh?

im waiting for the perfect time to move and get away from them. i know im just a stranger and im not a part of the family. guess what? this stupid family once rejected a friend that is willing to join them. fuck that!

*sigh*

i simply dont understand the meaning of friends in this new enviroment i live within this 3 years. it seriously changed a lot and a total different than the one i had in mind.

thanks to god, i still have a few good buddy. even if i dont have one, it's still okay for me as im the person who enjoy solitude the most.

until then..

Hatred

listening to : bunretsu LE+DD jinkaku - rentrer en soi

i realised that i have hate a friend. that person used to be my bestfriend. someone who i hang out with, someone that i share my problem and someone that i trust.

we havent meet each other for nearly 2 years that time. after we met again, i noticed there was a few changes in his character but it didnt hurt me that much. i dont give a damn care about it though. since it didnt really affect our relationship.

but ..

ever since he broke up with his beloved girlfriend, he changed a lot. to be honest, i was jealous of his happiness because at that time i got broke up with my beloved one and remain single till this year but then it's not like that i made up a story or something that made them broke up. i was just jealous about his happiness and i wanted a happiness like him.

then i introduced him something about that pathetic EMO since he was really down and he told me he's not interested. a month after that he became that stupid emo and i taught him a few basic things that i know.

i remember that day, he once told me that he promised that he'll never have any relationship and he wanted to remain single like me. i know how hurt he was that time, so i let him do whatever he wants.

three months after that promised, a girl came. she was a friend of mine which this pathetic emo guy introduced me. the real plan was that girl was set up by him to be together with me since i was craving for happiness but he didnt know that girl secretly admired him.

not long after that, this guy got his license and his became a little different. there's something that hurts me while he accidentally did it. also, when i claimed that im the one who introduced him that pathetic life, he denied it and told me that it was himself. i know it's not a big deal but it shows how easily he forgot what his friend had done for him.

then a year after we met that girl, they became lover. the only problem was they were happy for only one month. this is because of his promise and he didnt really have any feelings for her. i told him that feelings will grow slowly, be patient. a week after i said that he started to love her but only for a short time because that girl lied to him about something.

to make it short, their real relationship only last for three months. till now these couple is still together only by name not by feelings. this is because that stupid girl didnt want to let him go and strangled him with threat. ever since then, he became the stranger!

yeah, we're still friend but not bestfriend. this year is the year that im starting to hate him. back to the story, i dont know how long they've been together but then there was a time, somewhere around january this year, im starting to flirt with girls after a year being single. i told him to do the same but he refused earlier saying that he didnt have any confident about himself. then i told him to not care about himself as long as he can talk with girls and make them laugh, appearance is nothing.

so yeah, after 3 months flirting with girls, i stopped and took the chance to proposed one girl. she's my current girlfriend ^_^. he was jealous of my happiness and started to do what i told him back then. he started to flirt and i persuaded him to do this and that. it was a success.

he forgot his miseries and he forgot ... ME! he changed and he change! remember the post about him leaving me behind just to be with girls? mahn! it sucks y'know. fuck that! now, he became real close with the person i once admire and i hate that in some way. he seeks for girls attention and more. he even being rude to me in someway. all of this pisses me off. bullcrap! just now i read his status saying "STOP STALKING ME YOU BITCH, I HAVE MY OWN LIFE" it's like he's telling everyone that he's fucking cute. and to me he's seeking for people's attention. damn it! i hate this kind of person..

*sigh* i dont know why. did he do something wrong? i mean when i look real close he did nothing wrong. he was just doing his thing. i guess this is because of the strong hatred and jealousy within this chaotic heart. should i blame him? or myself?

*sigh*

until then..

Envy

listening to : You - Satsuki

Morning there -.-'

im feeling very tired here. i cant sleep. my insomnia is acting out. it's 4.40 something and i cannot put these eyes of mine to sleep and rest like everybody else.

i dont understand how people can sleep very quickly. some people could sleep within 10 minutes or less. i really envy them people who can sleep like that. im not normal when it comes to this subject okay?

usually it took me an hour or half an hour to put myself to sleep. it also can cost me 2 hour just to lie myself on bed hugging my favourite pillow and sleep.

*sigh*

sometimes i wish that i could sleep like them people. it's cool in some way. well hey, it's not because of world cup or something but i really cant sleep. my eyes is wide awake and yet my soul is begging for a rest. mahn, im jealous of you guys that can sleep whenever you want.

me? i cant do that. -.- i think i need some aid to put myself to sleep. sleeping pills would do.

god..

why am i like this? im suffering too much already. i hope you'll remove this insomnia sickness within me. please, im begging you. i cant do this. i need to rest at least 8 hours so that i can be active in the morning.

*sigh* i need to go. i need to take my shower now to be real 'ready' for school..

until then fellas..

Restless

listening to : stay gold - rentrer en soi

it's been a while, im sorry. i know i havent share anything lately. this is due to the laziness within my self. haha

okay, last tuesday me and japanese club members were visiting the brunei museum. it was a little fun and very tiring. well, i was really restless. this is because of the world cup and e.lit extra class.

in e. lit extra class, i was choose by my tutor to act out a character from the play called 'the dutchess of malfi'. acting out as ferdinand was the hardest thing i ever did in drama life. i need to be very emotional including being too jealous, mad and angry. come to think of it, i regretted that i joined e.lit club because it took my holiday and my revision time, also i need to memorize every line for my character. it's not easy, y'know?

*sigh*

but i had fun and this club helps me to learn how to act and i met a lot of new friends. hehs..

okay, ill stop till now. too tireddd >.<

until then..

Looking back ..

listening to : without a trace - the GazettE

it's been a while there readers. i know i didnt update that much anymore. this is due to the free wireless connection has been cut since last week. curses! im craving for exist trace's new song damn it! also gazette too!

damn ..

oh yeah, it's been a long time since the last time i listened to "without a trace - the GazettE". now that im listening to it, it reminds me the first year i came to pte, katok. it was quite troublesome i guess. too much things happens, and it happens so fast.

i wonder what will happen this year. i know it's going to be a tough year for me. there are kayme, hana and A'level for me to think about. not to forget my friendly japanese 'freak' friends.

*sigh*

hmm, im planning on continuing my story last night but sadly im suffering a writer's block >.<" damn it! maybe next time. so aki, i guess you'll have to wait then..


will update more next time..


see ya~


until then..

Falling..

Listening to : You - Satsuki

I am facing a problem. It's a problem without solution. Perhaps, there is .. but it's just not the right time yet. Due to this kind of problem, I've been suffering for nearly 3 years now. I just hope, it'll end some time around this year. I had enough being in this kind of state. Not just me but my friends are also facing this pain indirectly. This is due to my reaction to them, how I treat them, how I talk to them.

I know I'm very unfriendly when it comes to people. I do not care about people's feeling. I just say what I want and do what I want. But mark me, I know what I'm doing. Maybe sometimes, you saw me being rude but there's always a reason behind it.

I am quite troublesome.. heh..

But yeah, those who despises me can despise me all they want. They can leave me anytime they want. There's no need for you to give that pathetic look and give me all kinds of treatments. For me, these kind of people are like flies. They only came when they in the need of something, something dirty. I have no fear of losing someone like this.

My only reaction to this is ignoring and keep ignoring. I shall not lay one word until they say anything.

Until then..

You

English:
Day after day, I envision what’s beyond the stillness
You were there for me the whole time I thought I’d lost sight of you, weren’t you?
My tears brim over because you’re gone
When I think of you, I feel your kindness
Trembling with fear of the the uncertain reality of a fractured future
It’s inevitable; the present can’t be destroyed, it pauses
My tears brim over because you’re gone
When I think of you, I feel your kindness
Someday, I’ll hear your voice,
And we’ll exchange smiles
Until the day we meet again
Surely, surely, surely
My tears brim over because you’re gone*
When I think of you, your kindness fills me*
I had believed our destiny was endless,
But it scattered with the ephemeral flowers

*[T/N]: Unless I am deaf, I don’t think Satsuki sings these two lines…but they’re in the lyrics, so I included them anyway

Romaji:
Seijaku no KANATA ni omoiegaiteiru kasuneta hibi o
Miushinai sou ni naru toki wa itsumo soba ni ite kureta ne
Anata ga inai kara namida ga afurete
Anata o omou tabi yasashisa ni furete yuku
Mujou na genjitsu ni obiefurueteru kaketa mirai o
Doushiyou mo nai ima ga kowasenakute togireteku
Anata ga inai kara namida ga afurete
Anata o omou tabi yasashisa ni furete yuku
Itsuka koe o kiite
Futari egao o kawasou
Futatabi deaeru sono hi made
Kitto kitto kitto
Anata ga inai kara namida ga afurete*
Anata o omou tabi yasashisa ga michite yuku*
Owaru koto wa nai to shinjiteita kedo
Chiri yuku sadame no hatanaki hana to tomo ni

copied this from http://neyomi.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/satsuki-you/

credits to neyomi for this.. thanks neyomi! xD

Chizuru

In your letter there are only words I cannot read
I want to meet you hear it from your mouth

Weak with white which I can't get used to　Just a sigh echoes
Though I'd be saved if I only knew the color of the sky
I want to someday forget even the deep struggling breaths
When even the strength of wishing so seems shriveled up

If I sing "Downcast Tomorrow" The sleep that comes after the thorn
The Restraint my body was bound by
Even the mind seems to sleep
The heat that touched my cheeks is very nostalgically sweet
The shadow I saw in a dim loophole A warm-colored dream

My eyes in which your impression is left
even when the day I lose sight of you comes
You are burned into these eyes.
You do not take me with you
To the days with you and the sunlight filtering through the trees


The oozing white wavers
It feels like I'll even forget words
Where do my tears flow away to
Call my name
Hold me till I crumble
I'm afraid to lose anything else

Where are you singing about me
Even if I listen hard, what echoes is my uneasy heartbeat
I can't recall the warmth that was left on my cheek
What I saw in the dim loophole Was a cold-colored reality1

I nestle up to
Your small wishes of a thousand cranes
Without returning the smile, just
In the last memory of counting my breaths...
I hear your voice
In the morning where everything was lost
"Two would could not be one"

*Copied from the community live journal. Most of the credits should be given to them ;)

I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH!!

the GazettE \m/

until then..

Regrets

That night was so quiet and peaceful. The wind blew smoothly telling me that night is going to be a cold night. I sat at my veranda, enjoying the soundless night. It’s so peaceful, I thought. While I’m sitting there alone, everyone has already closed their eyes, sink into their dreams. I’m closing my eyes but it’s just not like everyone else does.

I have always been a loner. It’s not because of I don’t have the skill to socialize or something but it’s because of myself. I couldn’t find that people are interesting. Most of the people around me talks about their wealth, their studies, sports and many more. They rarely talk about their friends and people around them. They didn’t seem to care about human life and … nature too. They are more concern about their studies rather than their feelings. Some say that studies is your feelings, it’s because when you achieved good result, you’ll get a job and you’ll be happy.

I disagree with this. Why? It’s because there are many things that is more important than your studies. Your health and people around you, this is way more important than studying. While you’re busy with your studies, you tend to forget the world. You only think about how to achieve a good result and be the better student around the world. By doing this, you never know that people around you is sick or good. By the time the people around passed onto another life, only then you realised how bad you are as a human. How sick you are as a human! and then you’ll start cursing yourself and blaming yourself because of what you did. Then you realized that your “unimportant person” is important to you and you’re starting to miss them, although you know it’s too late.

Sigh, I did this once. I used to be the best student in my school back then. I love it and I’m proud of it. Then after that, I got my scholarship. I went to UK and studied there. As expected, I beat everyone and became the best of the best student around UK. I was given by the Principal as the student of honour and I’m so happy about this. I could see a bright future ahead of me. Unfortunately, while I was busy doing my studies, my mom fell ill. By the time I know this, I realised that I was too busy thinking about myself and forget about my surroundings. I regretted this. So I rushed back to my country, hoping that I could visit her soon but fate is too cruel. She died before I could see her last expressions. I stayed with dad after that but a week after my mom’s death, my dad went crazy due to uncontrollable heart-suffering. He was sent to the mental hospital. Not long after that, dad committed suicide.

Due to what happened, I started to cry and kept myself locked in a room. The only thing I do everyday when I woke up from bed is crying and regretting. Because of this, I lost my vision and I became blind. Thinking back of what happened, I wish I could reverse time. So I could correct all the mistakes I made. The certificates that I’m always proud of, can do nothing but watch me as it hanged on my wall. Treasure the people around you, don’t just think about yourself. Regrets can’t bring back the time you’ve missed. So, be wise in doing everything in your life. Don’t be a person like me cause you’ll regret your whole life. Good luck in everything my fellow readers.

-- THE END --

Lacking Confidence

Okay..

I have been feeling like this since last week. I'm sorta worried about my exams. It's because of the results of my assessment. Since last year, I never got any chance to score at least a "C" for all my subjects. I think this has affected my morals. It made me lose all my confidence in all my abilities in studying >.<

Seriously, I feel bad about that.

Although, (I think) my English is improving but I didnt think it's enough for me to face every exams. Even for English O'level, I dont think that I'm ready for it. I keep on wishing that the exams is going to be postponed till next month, although that's not going to happen.

*sigh*

I need to gain my confidence back. It's really important for me in order to survive from this paper war. I need to do something and I need to do it fast!!

Until Then..

Flowers

Music : Reminiscence ~ Feelings Not Erased ~ - Yasunori Mitsuda

*Sighs*

I'm facing some difficulties - I'm surrounded by four lovely flowers around me. Thus, giving me the feelings of wanting to have them all in my hands. For sure, one flower will never be mine since she'd been picked a long time ago by one gentleman whom i believe was the right one.

I have no regret of losing that one because that beauty doesnt even suite by a poor young man like me. I just hope that she will grow more beautiful in the hands of that gentleman. Even now, she's beautiful than ever.

Thanks to god, I have my own flower to take care of. I try my best to keep her safe in my hands. I hope she will continues to grow more beautiful along with the other roses. Unfortunately, there's one thing I'm afraid of...

The greediness inside me. It gradually controls my mind and feelings. As I told you, I'm surrounded by four lovely flowers which makes me want to posses all of them. It's not easy when you're surrounded by such a fascinating nature, which is very tempting. Everyday feels like a heavy challenge to me. Having this greediness live inside you is like having a voice inside your head telling you to have them and keeping them to yourself. Indeed, it would be great to have all of them.

No.. No.. No.. I have to get rid of it..

*Sighs*

If my heart is weak, I'll be eaten by the words whispering inside my brain, forgetting all the dignity I have. By the time that happens, the flower which is already in my hands will droop, losing all the beauty which she posses before.

and ..

I dont want that to happen. I hope I'll get rid of this feeling right away before I let those pitiful tears fall to the floor..

Until Then..

Surprise and Smile! You’re Going To Die!

I’d never known how the outside world looks like. I am a plain kid, kind of nerd and the son to the wealthiest man of the country. I lived in a big mansion – deep inside the forest where I could only see the sky, trees and the gates that is guarding the whole place. I was never allowed to leave the house since the day I was born into the world. My dad told me that I don’t need to go to school because my father will sent me a private teacher. My only entertainment is book. I love to read book, good things that I’m a bookworm so I felt that my life is completely perfect. Well just for your information I don’t take cheap exams for example the examinations from school. In short, I’m a brilliant student. My room is full with certificates that are going to help me in the future. My name is Kiyoshi Ediquate Shinha.

One evening my mind was fraught to know about the outside world. Impatiently, I asked my private teacher about it.

In my innocent tone, I asked her “Ayako, how do the outside world look like?”
“It’s the first time you asked me about that Sir since the first day of my arrival here. It’s been 5 years and it bothers me so much to see someone who is so young, so handsome, provided with wealth and luxury also brilliant in everything never have an interest in outside world.” He said.
“Aww don’t you think that the compliments is a lil bit too much Hizaki? It’s just a question. My mind was full with that question until it made my brain to stop from thinking. You see, I’m trying to get rid of it. Anyway could you tell me about it?”
“As you wish Sir…” she smiled. “Do you know animals? Nevermind, just imagine a sheep. I bet you know how a sheep looks like. Well you could see a lot of sheep flying over the town especially houses. I think the minimum is 4 sheep”
Stupidly, believing in what she said, I imagined the flying sheep around my house. “Hey how come there is no flying sheep around my house?”
“Haha silly you sir, you’ve been tricked” her tongue was out while she was saying this. The she continued “Well in outside world you could see a lot of places that you would never expect to see. There is a playground, parks, shopping center where you could buy something, meet up some friends. Having fun with them. Playing games that you’ve never play and there is a lot more for you to see which I couldn’t describe in words. My favourite place is the beach, it’s a place where I usually hang out alone whenever I’m bored and tension. The sound of the waves splashing, seeing the sunset and more get you the tranquility that you desire for, sir.”
“Really? That sounds awesome. Too bad I couldn’t see all of those. I wish I was free like y...” before I could finish my words, my dad called for my name and I left Ayako alone there.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about what Ayako told me that evening. I was thinking to sneak up all by myself to see how the outside world is but then my second thoughts prevented me from doing it. So at last I decided to just close my eyes and wait for tomorrow’s morning. While trying to sleep I heard my door was opened and I felt someone was coming near me. As soon as I opened my eyes, a very familiar face appeared upon my face. It was Ayako, I saw her face was in panic. She told me that we’ve been attacked by a gangster that is trying to rob us. She also mentioned that my dad was killed in the process. There is no other choice but to run away. I ran as fast as I could with Ayako but she didn’t made it because she was shot by one of the gangster. I managed to escape from the attacked but I’m all alone now. I’ve never imagined that my life would turn like this. I was so eager to see the outside world and never stop thinking of it and now after I managed to see everything, I lost something important in exchange for it. I wandered alone in the dark cruel world only to find a place for a shelter.

The next morning, I found myself lying down in an alley near the garbage bin. Then I continued my journey and met a very cute girl. Ino is her name. She brought me to her home and introduced me to her parents. I told them about my story where my home got attacked and end up lying alone in the streets. They offered me to live with them and I accepted it. Although their place is not great as mine and very low standard for me but I’m okay with it. Not long after that, I heard about an attacked at a big mansion that is owned by the richest man in the country while I was working at the rice field. I tried to gather information about the attacked from the villagers and it was my luck to get every of the information I need. As the night started to fall, I prepared for the attacked recklessly. Before I went for my own death, Ino tried to stop me from doing it but she failed to convince me why should I stop it. Then at the place where the gangster’s hangout, there is a tough battle between me and them where I took all of them one by one all by myself. Pleased by my achievement, I totally forgot about their boss-the one who killed my dad. I felt something touched at the back of my head. I noticed that it was a gun. The trigger was pulled and …

BANGG!!

I opened my eyes and found myself alive. I thought I was in heaven but sadly I realised that I was back into my room unhurt and unharmed as yesterday. It seemed that my room is still in its shape. Nothing changes, as if there wasn’t any attack been made. Then I positively believe that every of that was only my dream. Happily I jumped my from my bed and get everything ready for my next lesson with Ayako. That morning, the house seemed to be so quiet and it made me felt so uneasy. I tried to calm myself by singing in the living room while waiting for Ayako to come. But then something caught my attention, I saw something black appeared at the window and found it vanished after I tried to see it once more. I felt that my movement was being watched. I was afraid and I tried to run away but once I turned my back. A gunshot filled the air and a loud scream was heard.

“HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY MR. KIYOSHI EDIQUATE SHINHA!!!!!!!!”



(1183 words)

I hope it's not too late..

Music : I Hate Myself And Want To Die - RES

Fuhh..

The weather is very unpleasant, isnt it? Mahn.. I feel so dehydrated.. need waterr..

HAHA!

but seriously, i guess this is the feelings of the people who lives in the desert. The need of water, getting very sweaty and ... HOT everyWHERE!!! It feels like living in hell. Exaggerated i guess but that's the truth. Mahn, Brunei is getting very hot everyday.

Going to school with this kind of weather almost make me feel demotivated yo!

*sigh*

Exam is getting near. I'm worried about my O'level and AS'level, havent prepared for it. Im so dead >.<

I need to change.. Need to be more hard-working. I just hope it's not too late for me to change..

Okay, I'll stop till here.. will be updating more later (:

See ya..

Until Then..

left behind..

music : reminiscence ~ feelings not erased - yasunori mitsuda

*sighs*

how does it feels when you're left behind by your friends? it feels hurt right? how about the one that left you behind is your own bestfriend? i bet it's more painful.

i was left behind by some stranger today and guess what? he left me behind because some stupid lame fucking reason which i dont give a damn! girls... do you believe that? he DITCHED me BECAUSE of GIRLS. such one stupid reason..

here's the story.

while i was busy doing something yesterday, i got a call by non other than some random guy whom i forgot his name. he's such a nice guy, so he invited me to watch a movie today with his GIRLFRIENDS (ooooo~ ladies man kaliah! mcm baie! sasak ku kn kau ah! eat shit mothafaka!).. okay, back to the story. so he invited me to watch a movie but he wont be able to pick me up like usual because his car will be full with his GIRLFRIENDS. so he asked me if my mom could sent me there or not. he told to confirm it as soon as possible, so that he'll buy a ticket for me.. awhhh~ he's so nice..

NOT!!

okay, after i told my mom about it. she agreed to send me there. i was so happy that it made me call him straight away. so then i called him and .. the first call was unanswered. i called him again and this time he picked it up. i told him that my mom will be able to send me there and sadly the bad news was he did not buy me a ticket because he's worried that i wont be able to come.

NOT!

he's not worried at all, that's what he wants! i tried to accept his reason with positive thoughts although i felt a little sad that time. haha and then suddenly, he gave me this hope. he told me that there's one girl who's not confirm whether she could come or not. this is due to transportation which basically the same as my case. if she could or couldnt come, he'll told me about it as soon as possible.

but then his name didnt even appear in the screen of my phone after that call. it left me with despair. it's not because of im not able to watch that stupid movie but it's because how he treated me as his own fucking BESTFRIEND!

1st he gave me a call just to show off that he's going out with 12 girls
2nd he cant be my transport because of GIRLS!
3rd he rather chose girls instead of bestfriend..
4th he rather buy one girl a ticket who's isnt confirm instead of his bestfriend
5th he didnt even told me about the confirmation

I HATE IT WHEN A PERSON CHOSE A GIRL INSTEAD OF HIS BESTFRIEND WITH A REASON TO PLEASE. ALL I WANT TO SAY IS ....

"SADAR - SADAR TAH WANG, ALUM TANTU JUA BINI-BINI ATU SUKA KAN KAU, JGN JADI BUDUH, PALUI! PUSSYMA!"

the good news was one of the girls wasnt able to come because of sudden emergency. so then the ticket was a waste! haha! (Padan mua mu baie! the girl yg alum confirm atu i think dtg kali, and the one yg nda jadi tdi ani, kwn ku sorang. she's pretty yaw, bgus lah ea inda dtg haha! puas ati ku eh)

p/s : this post is between what happened yesterday, saturday and today, friday. sorry if there's some grammar mistakes, i was too mad at this stupid stranger!

until then

dreams

music : reminiscence ~ feelings not erased - yasunori mitsuda

it's been a while since the last time i dream about her. this probably because i missed her too much. i dont even know why i miss her. i mean i get to meet her everyday, seeing her in class, watching every of her motions but it seems not enough. maybe it's because i was nagged by the feeling of wanting to talk with her, have a nice chit chat while enjoying those angelic face. unlike before, im not able to say hi and bye to her, watching her smiles, her pink cheeks and everything like before.

*sigh* i miss that moment..

but ..

although we're not as "close" as before, im satisfied that angel is still looking at me. okay, i talked a lot. the point i want to say here is last night i dreamt about meeting her but this time with vivi.

we were in some sort of airplane and she was having a chat with vivi. they were talking so loud that i could hear every single words they say. of course as a dream i didnt remember everything except the event. viv was teasing kayme about something while their eyes were looking at me. feeling so shy, kayme teased vivi back telling how 'tomboy' she is. while at the same time, i approached them and get to have a nice conversation with them. what's so sweet was vivi left both of us alone. kayme and i teased each other about something. the only thing i remember is we were teasing about our cooking skills. *grins* i know it's silly but that's how the scene ends. we were helping each other in cooking as if we're a married couple..

hehs..

unfortunately, it's all just a matter of dream. it cant be a reality and it will never be. okay, ill stop till here. im having a class now ..

and i shall meet her after this (:

until then..

Failure -.-'

Hey

Just a brief update here (:

Okay,

I did told you guys that I quit smoking right? well, it's a failure. I tried my best to quit but I can't. Well, the good thing is I'm not a heavy one but a passive one (: I'm still trying to quit. It has been 3 days since the day I announced that I quit smoking now. One smoke per day, that's my limit. Hope I can get rid of it soon (:

Wish me luck! ^_^

Until then..

Cancer Stick

venue : dining hall of ptek
music : joukei no kanata - danger gang

i've been wanting to do this since the second day i started sucking those poisonous gas. flicking through every page of my memories, i realised why did i start playing with those cancer stick again. it's all because of those two stupid 'kibyan' girls.

*sigh*

i had enough telling some worthless story about them. not only they're worthless, they're also wasting my time. ever since that day, i swear to sky to try to avoid those stupid 'kibyan' people. to me, their presence can only bring misery. it's better for me to off alone rather than being with them.

okay, enough talk. the point i want to make here is that i started smoking due to the stressful situation because that stupid 'kibyan' girl reminded me of my stupid ex! another point is i quit playing with those stick after having my last one last midnight. this is because of the wish i made before.

"i'll only quit if i have a girlfriend"

i maybe say that but actually i wish for it. now, it's been nearly 3 weeks since the first time i proposed my farhana. after 3 weeks, i got the heart to move on and do what i said.

i, kimi kiyoshi hereby announced that i quit smoking! (: it's not permanent though. no promises x(

until then..

Old Grudge

Holla ..

Hey, I miss posting something in this blog. Anyway, it's just a brief update. Maybe haha!

Yesterday, I met one of my enemy at PTEK while I was smoking at my usual place where smokers usually gathers. He's my old enemy actually. Well, it's all because of noty. You guys know how she is right? She loves to have more than one relationship at a time. Thank god she realised now that it's wrong to do something like that.

Okay back to my story, I dont think I want to mention his name here but yeah, he asked my name first then he told me that maybe I know him. Honestly I didnt even recognize his face nor his voice until he mentioned noty's name. After he introduced me himself, he went off.

The point I want to make here is that it feels good to know that old grudge is forgotten now. I remember how both of us used to fight because of her. I know it's stupid but yeah, that shows how immature we were before. I hope there's no sense of hatred any more and we would able to become friends instead of enemies.

Okay, that's all

Until then..

Anything That You Guys Missed About Me .. (:

Hey..

It's been a while now since my last post. I know it's must be disappointing for those who kept on checking my page for an update although I think I don't have one. Hehs! Honestly, I kept on checking my blog every single time I open my laptop, it's just I'm too lazy to write anything.

Okay, here you go my dear viewers (:

First thing I wanna share with you guys is the fact that I'm not a loner anymore. YEAY! hehe. I proposed one girl last week on 29th March. The sweet thing was I proposed her during her birthday which I thought it was supposed to be her greatest present. Maybe ;p hehe I just love to create some special moment.

Second news is I discovered some new v-kei band for me to follow which is D and El Ethic Legist xD Their music is really good, I mean it! ;D

Third thing is a news about my feelings. All you guys know how much I love that Korean girl in my school right? I tried to forget her since I have my own girlfriend to think about but it seems that the more I try to forget her the more I fall in love with her. I just can't get her out from my mind. Aki told me that it's normal for guys to feel that, there's nothing wrong with it and I agreed with him but seriously I feel really guilty for my baby. I don't think that it's fair for her. It's like I'm betraying her love. That's what I think actually. Okay, stop about this. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I think it's the best if I just go with the flow. (:

Fourth news : hmm, okay. Maybe most of my friends realised that I'm smoking those cancer sticks already. I just hope they don't look me in a different way than before. I know it's bad for health but I cant stop it anymore. I think I already addicted to it but I know sometime in this year, I'll be stopping sucking those poisonous gas.

Last news is about my studies. AS'level is near now. It'll start somewhere around May. I don't really need to be specific here. Not to forget about O'lvl too, I'm going to have my 4th time sitting for English O'lvl. It's not that my English skill is not very good, I'm just trying to upgrade my English grade from C to A. I really put too much hope on this (Amin!) Okay, back to my studies, I told ya that my AS'level examination is coming right? The worst thing is I haven't prepared anything for it even for my second MPR. I'm such a lazy ass *sigh* I'll try to change but not that fast. I'll be changing gradually without anyone notices it (:

Okay guys, that's all I think you need to know about me for now.. I'll try to update more okay? No promises about it. Wish me a good luck for my coming exams and not to forget my love life (: Take care fellas, I Love You

Hana-Kimi <3

Until then...

Anger of Sadness

*sigh*

yesterday was such a bad day. i'd been nervous for the whole morning because of my geo test. not only that, there's one other thing that stressed me out yesterday. it's my GP. ms. aida told me that my test was marked as absent. which means that i get nothing over hundred. the passing mark for overall was 200 and i havent achieved the requirements yet. my heart cried for the whole day. it was hard for me to believe that ill be demoted to lower 6.. but that's the truth. i cant deny it. it's the fact that i have to faced for the whole year.

hehs, another year of being a repeater eh? *sigh* im thinking of moving somewhere else where not even one soul know or recognise my name.. but it's just too impossible..

one thing i realised after the geo test yesterday, friend is an enemy for your goal.. bestfriend is a song that will soothe your heart.. best bestfriend is your shadow that feel your pain and grief along with ya..

i'll hate the one who's being so not helpful yesterday.. because you cause me misery for the whole season!

until then

-.-'

*growl*

i'm hungraaaaaaaaayyyyyyy !!! -.-'

fourteen :/

current music : watch me bleed - scary kids scaring kids

it feels so cold tonight. thank god it doesnt rain tonight. so im able to enjoy the little things a bit. i could only see the sparkling stars tonight but not the moon ): tough luck i guess..

*sigh*

it's fourteen today, valentine's day and chinese new year. also a memorial day for sauzan or notykitz. i remember how special was this day used to be. *laughs* i must be foolish that time to think that relationship is going to be forever. well, that time i was too naive in all this things, i admit it but somehow it amazes me that this heart of mine can never stop thinking about the days where she and i used to have.. all the sad times, happy times and all the problematic situation.

come to think of it, it's been a year now since i broke my connection with her. i really miss her so much although i know i have to step out from this chaotic past. it's just i cant help myself when my mind rolled back thinking all the memories i had with her. to be honest, the only person i want in this world is her. that "noty" insolent girl.

but it's all over now.. the beautiful moment only last for a year and four months..

*sigh*

until then..

Ruki and Uruha Interview

Credits to ST.net :)

Presenter: I will now introduce today’s guests; two members from the very popular Visual-kei band, GazettE!
Ruki: I am the vocalist, Ruki.
Uruha: I am the guitarist, Uruha.
Presenter: I always listen to your songs and watch you on TV, so I’m very happy to have the chance to meet you!
Uruha: Thank you very much.
Ruki: (laughs)
Presenter: I’m not lying!
Ruki: Oh, really?
Presenter: You looked at me as if to say I was lying.
Ruki: Well, yes.
Presenter: Of course not! I always enjoy watching you.
Ruki & Uruha: Thank you very much.
Presenter: You fit with the mood of my cafe very well today!
Ruki: Yeah, I think we did alright. It’s a good job I didn’t come in a t-shirt!
Presenter: But even if you did, you would have probably made some other different, edgy image.

Presenter: Starting from the beginning, how did the band ‘GazettE’ come together?
Ruki: We were all doing different bands at the time, near Yokohama, and we already knew of each other.
Uruha: We knew each other and we also respected each other [as musicians].
Presenter: Oh, so you didn’t see each other as rivals?
Uruha: Not rivals, no. Ah well, but there was a part of me that was *envious (gestures towards Ruki)
[*I think he means envious of Ruki's former band, not so much Ruki himself]
Ruki: So, we knew faces, and we all seemed similar, so we sort of pulled together and decided to form a band.
Presenter: You quit your former bands, then?
Uruha: Yes.
Presenter: Who was the first person to bring that idea up?
Uruha: Well, I was in the same band as our bassist Reita at the time, and as there was only the 2 of us we asked Ruki to join. We were kinda waiting for his old band to split up.
Ruki: (laughter) Yeah, you were!
Presenter: So after his band split up you got together along with the other members of GazettE?
Uruha: Ur…from there -
Ruki: – we formed a different band.
Uruha: That was when I first met Ruki. When that band came to an end, me, Reita and Ruki were the only ones left, so we searched for more members and formed “Gazette”.
Presenter: What was the origin of your band name, “Gazette”?
Ruki: At first we were told that having the sounds “Ga, gi, gu, ge or go” [Japanese phonics] in your band name was a good thing as they were easier sounds to remember… First we were thinking of the name “Gaze”, but it was like, “What does that mean?” And at the time, we used demo tapes and cassette tapes and…we thought, “what about ‘Gazette’?”
Presenter: Ah, you got it from *”cassette” tape?
[*In Japanese, "cassette tape" is "kasetto", which is the same pronunciation as "gazetto" apart from the 1st sound]
Ruki: There’s no real meaning to it, really. We chose “Gazetto” for the sound. And then afterwards there was sort of meaning to it in that…our band’s wanted to make a sound that’s like a cassette tape that blew up [laugh] Dunno what kinda sound that’d be!

Presenter: Do all the band members get on?
Uruha: We do, yeah.
Presenter: Do you see each other when you’re not working?
Ruki: On days off? Well…we’re almost together all the time.
Presenter: Because you’re working?
Uruha: We don’t really have any time to ourselves -
Ruki: – that’s not true -
Uruha: – oh no, that’s not true [laughs]
Ruki: I wouldn’t want us to get that close! (laughter)
Uruha: Aw, I don’t think that!
Ruki: I don’t think that either actually (laughter)
Presenter: But I guess you’re together even “out of the office”, such as when you’re composing, which means that you spend a good length of time together, right?
Ruki & Uruha: That’s right.
Presenter: Do you compose all your songs yourselves?
Ruki: Yep.
Uruha: (laughs)
Presenter: *”Yep?” That was suddenly a cute way of putting it!
[*He was meant to say "un" in Japanese which basically means "yeah", but he got tongue-tied and came out with "fun"]
Ruki: We compose together – well someone will compose a song and we all work on it from there, which we’ve been doing from the past.
Presenter: By the way, who is the leader of the band?
Ruki: The leader?
Uruha: The leader is well -
Ruki: – the kid who plays the drums, I guess.
Uruha: The “kid who plays the drums”? (laughs)
Ruki: His name is Kai, and I guess he takes the role of the leader. He’s the most -
Uruha: – well, like a leader.
Ruki: – dependable, I guess.
Presenter:Does that mean that Kai goes through the songs and decides, “Ok, we’ll use this one next”?
Ruki: No, doesn’t happen (laughter)
Presenter: It doesn’t?
Ruki: It’s more when all the band members are talking, and things get out of hand he…(pauses) (to Uruha) Does he do anything like that?
Uruha: In the past he sort of made a schedule…well, not schedule -
Ruki: – like our Manager? (laughter)
Presenter: Your Manager? When he’s your drummer?!

Presenter: When you first formed GazettE, did you experience any kind of struggle? Or are there any (bad) memories that stay with you?
Uruha: When we first formed, all we did was struggle.
Presenter: In what way?
Ruki: Not many people would come and see us [play], if anything.
Uruha: That’s right. When GazettE first formed, we hardly got any notice.
Ruki: No one noticed!
Uruha: Yeah, no one!
Presenter: Really?
Ruki: It was just like, “Oh, it’s them lot [from the previous bands] who’ve just got together and made another band”, right?
Uruha: Mmm…well…
Ruki: Well ok, I’m not too sure, but…it was only between a small number [of fans?] And we were doing the band with that and…
Uruha: We didn’t get much notice and…like at our second gig, there weren’t that many people.
Presenter: Since you became ‘GazettE’?
Uruha: Yes.
Presenter: But you thought, “Let’s not give up, guys!”…?
Uruha: Yeah, we never gave up -
Ruki: We never lost hope.
Uruha: – even if there weren’t that many people, in order to get more people to know of us, we did as many gigs as we could.
Ruki: I [we] didn’t see it as a hard struggle at the time, though.
Uruha: It was obvious that there weren’t that many people -
Ruki: – it was obvious that there weren’t going to be that many and it didn’t bother us much.
Presenter: But didn’t your fans from your previous bands come and see you play?
Uruha: Ah, it was most difficult losing those fans.
Ruki: Yeah. We didn’t live up to their expectations.
Uruha: Some fans who came to see our gigs when we were in our previous bands didn’t come and see us as “GazettE”.
Presenter: Ah, things like that happen, then. But now, you’re doing gigs such as at the ‘Budoukan’! Thinking back to when not many people came to see you and comparing it to now, how do you feel?
Ruki: We felt like people finally understood us (laughs) In general, what we’re doing now is no different to what we were doing then, it’s just that no one came and saw us.
Uruha: We’re definitely happy and grateful.
Ruki: Definitely.

Presenter: Now, you’ve done gigs overseas – what did you think of them? Is it different to Japan?
Ruki: It’s like, if Japanese fans were drunk -
Uruha: (laughs) Drunk?
Ruki: It’s almost like Japanese fans are sober, and over there they’re [oversea fans] drunk.
Presenter: What do you mean by that?
Uruha: They’re completely ecstatic.
Ruki: Ecstatic, yeah.
Presenter: Really?
Ruki: In Japan, the fans brace themselves when the gig’s about to start, but overseas, it’s already started.
Presenter: Before you’ve even gone on stage?
Ruki: Yeah, before we’re even there -
Uruha: They act like the gig has already started.
Ruki: – when we’re still backstage, the gig’s already started.
Uruha: It really has!
Presenter: Wow.
Ruki: They’ve already set the mood.
Uruha: They’ve set the mood for us so that when we go on stage, we can be in that same mood.
Presenter: So when you walk onto stage, the atmosphere is completely different [to Japan]?
Uruha: Yeah, you should see them!
Ruki: You should – they’re crazy!
Presenter: Do they cause havoc and jump about…?
Uruha: Yeah, we had to keep having intervals.
Presenter: Because the fans were too rowdy?
Ruki: Yeah, a lot of stuff was happening.
Uruha: It was becoming chaotic.
Ruki: Even the security guards were getting into to it!
Uruha: They’d be keeping the fans back then turn round and be like, “YEAH!” [does rock fists pose] It’s like, “Guys, do your job!” (laughs)
Presenter: But I bet as the band on stage, you’d get ecstatic too?
Ruki & Uruha: We do.
Ruki: The security guards were the most ecstatic! It’s like, “what?”
Presenter: But watching all that from stage, are you able to keep calm and cool and perform?
Ruki:That’s the thing, we’re not not – we’re ecstatic from the first song!

Presenter: Doing gigs around different areas of Japan, do you find any differences between the prefectures? Such as between Tokyo and Osaka?
Ruki: Ah, Osaka – in the kansai area, the fans actually get really into it.
Presenter: Really?
Ruki: You know how there’s a blackout just before we start our gig? Well, we know what to expect from the fans’ screams on that day.
Uruha: That’s true.
Presenter: What do you mean, exactly?
Uruha: Just by seeing if the fans yell or not when the lights go out, we know how the gig’s going to turn out.
Presenter: So if they do, it shows they’re going to give it their all -
Ruki: – and we feel that things are going to go great, but when their response is a bit uncertain -
Uruha: – when they don’t respond that well, we think “Are things gonna go alright?”
Ruki: When they’re hesitant like, “Kya…kyaa!”, we think “Damn, today’s not gonna be good!”
Uruha: We think we need to put in more effort.
Presenter: Do you form a circle with the other members to cheer each other on before gigs then?
Uruha: We do. Always.
Ruki: We have different versions of it as well, and we change it occasionally, don’t we?
Uruha: Ur…we do?
Ruki: Yeah, like we’d say we’ll do it ‘this way’ this time. We’d change it, such as going up instead of going down.
Presenter: Oh, so when you say “YEAH!” you jump up instead of bending down?
Ruki: But it tends to not work out.
Uruha: We do get it wrong!
Presenter: What do you normally do?
Ruki: We all put our hands out in the middle -
Uruha: What? No, we put our arms round each other’s shoulders!
Ruki: Oh yeah! (laughs)
Uruha: Don’t freakin’ forget it! (laughs) Considering we do it all the time!

Presenter: Do you have any bad memories of making mistakes during gigs?
Ruki: There was a time when my shoe flew off.
Presenter: Your shoe?! Did you kick it off or something?
Ruki: Yeah I did, and it ended up flying into the audience, didn’t it?
Uruha: Yeah.
Ruki: I had to ask them [the fans] to give it back to me.
Presenter: In the middle of your singing?
Ruki: Well, I sort of gestured to them (shows his gesture)
Presenter: But from the fans’ point of view, they wouldn’t want to let go of it, I should imagine!
Ruki: They all ignored me. They’re all like, “We dunno what you’re talking about”!
Presenter:They must’ve been fighting over it!
Ruki: Well, no, ’cause no one knew where it’d gone!
Presenter: As you wear quite a lot of accessories and jewelry, don’t you lose some when you jump around?
Uruha:(gestures to Ruki) He’s always losing something!
Presenter: Do you not get any of it back?
Uruha: You seem to get it all back…?
Ruki: One thing hasn’t come back to me (laughter)

Presenter: Do you have any other memories from gigs?
Uruha: Mine was when I fell of stage. It was so embarrassing.
Presenter: While you were playing?
Uruha: Yeah, I got too into it and went too close to the end of the of the stage, and I lost my balance and fell forward!
Ruki: He fell, and he was still playing.
Uruha: After the gig finished Ruki said, “Dude, you’re so ecstatic today!”
Ruki: ’cause he fell and was still playing off the stage!
Presenter: But didn’t you hurt yourself?
Uruha: I was alright, I just…fell (laughs)
Presenter: Looking at it all from the audience you’d think that it was all part of your performance, when in fact -
Uruha: – I’d fallen off stage.
Ruki: When you watch a clip of it afterwards it’s obvious he’d fallen accidentally (laughter)

Presenter: I’m sure you have some intense fans who send you presents and whatnot; what sort of things have they given you?
Ruki: Well when we did the tour round Japan -
Uruha: – oh, the flag -
Ruki: – there’s this flag, the Japanese flag, with comments written by the fans. The fan who’d had the idea had brought it to each gig in every part of Japan and asked other fans she or he didn’t even know to write something, and we’ve been given one a number of times at the final gigs of our tours. It’s sometimes displayed on the day of the gig.
Presenter: I’m sure that you were very grateful for them to have done that.
Ruki: Yeah, it’s true that we do enjoy receiving something that money can’t buy.
Uruha: It’s knowing how much effort was put into it.

Presenter: I’d now like to ask a few more personal questions -
Ruki: Go ahead.
Presenter: We had you fill in a questionnaire prior to this interview, so I’d like to ask questions related to it. Firstly, a food that you thought was genuinely delicious! I found it funny that you both chose almost complete opposite foods! Ruki, you chose ‘foie gras’ (a French dish) -
Ruki: I did. I really like it!
Presenter: Isn’t it rare to come across someone who likes ‘foie gras’?
Ruki: If you fly by business class on the plane, ‘foie gras’ is part of the menu. That’s how I first tried it, when we went to Cannes (in France). They even had truffle dessert.
Presenter: That’s a high-class business class!
Ruki:It was! I was so surprised. Anyway, I knew I liked truffle dessert, but after trying foie gras…! It tasted so good! I decided to buy some and take some back with me.
Presenter: Did you buy some, then?
Ruki: I bought a can of it to take back with me.
Presenter: You’re certainly well-off! Have you tried some in Japan since?
Ruki: I often buy it using a delivery service, and I spread it on bread – I was told that it tastes good with jam and… It’s not like I eat it every day! (laughter) But if I go to a restaurant and they have it, I’ll order it.
Presenter: The fact that you eat ‘foie gras’ makes you seem really refined and mature.
Ruki: It does? The taste of it doesn’t really come across like that to me…
Uruha: It’s good though.
Ruki: Yeah.
Uruha: It’s something that would go well with drinking [alcoholic beverages]
Ruki: Yeah, like a snack to go with it.
Presenter:But to have foie gras as a “snack”, you’d have to be pretty rich!
Ruki: You’d have to be pretty rich but -
Uruha: – he doesn’t drink [alcohol]!
Ruki: I don’t drink!
Uruha:Foie gras only.
Ruki: I’d have it with a ginger-ale or something…
Presenter: Aw, how cute!

Presenter: And Uruha chose tarako [cod roe] spaghetti [Japanese dish]
Uruha: I chose a very common, typical dish! [in Japan!]
Presenter: It’s so sweet though!
Uruha: (laughs) See, back in the early days of our band when I had to travel from home to places [for gigs] like Tokyo, there was this really nice spaghetti [pasta/Italian] restaurant that my band-mates and I often went to. It’s part of good memories.
Ruki: (laughs) We did, yeah.
Presenter: That’s so cute.
Ruki: We didn’t even look at the menu, did we?
Uruha: Basically; it was get inside, eat! (laughs)
Ruki: (laughs)
Uruha: I have a really funny clip on my mobile/cellphone, where Ruki – when we step into the restaurant, a waiter or waitress comes to seat us, right? And at the point, he’s already saying “3 Tarako spaghetti’s, extra portions”! (laughs)
Ruki: (laughs)
Uruha: It’s way too quick of him to order! I took a video of him doing that on my phone from behind.
Presenter: Did you always have Tarako spaghetti when you went, then?
Ruki: Well, cause we went there constantly, I was told that I might as well order before we even sat down -
Uruha: – yeah, we did!
Ruki: – so as soon as we opened the door, not waiting to see if the waiter or waitress would greet us, I was like, “3 Tarako spaghettis”!
Uruha: And one cheese fondue.
Presenter: How did the waiter or waitress react?
Ruki: They were like, “Urr -
Uruha: – thank you for your order! But how about you take seat first?”
Presenter: Do you ever cook for yourselves at home?
Uruha: Sometimes.
Presenter: Tarako spaghetti?
Uruha: I do. Even at home (laughs)
Presenter: You really like, it don’t you?
Uruha: I love it!
Presenter: I found it interesting that you’re both like opposites.
Ruki: It’s all good. With only you giving the more favourable impression.
Uruha: How? (laughs)

Presenter: Next, your recent hobbies! Uruha wrote “playing Nintendo DS”.
Ruki & Uruha: (bursts into laughter)
Uruha: I apologise for being so common and average!
Ruki: It’s the chatrooms.
Uruha: Yeah, they’re good fun.
Presenter: Do you often play video games, then?
Uruha: I do.
Presenter: What sort of games, for example?
Uruha: During tours, everyone’s crowded together, so it’s easy to connect with other consoles and play together. Its like, “Bring yours along so we can play together!” And then when you start playing – oh, you can do chat, so then we all started using the chat-room a lot.
Ruki: It’s good fun.
Uruha: It really is!
Ruki: We chat about people who are in the same room. We basically make fun of them!
Uruha: It’s really fun to make silly jokes in the chat-room.
Ruki: Such as drawing pictures of people’s faces.
Presenter: Do you do that within all the members?
Uruha: I guess so…though some people don’t.
Ruki: Then there are those people use other people’s [Nintendo DS].
Uruha: (laughs & gestures to Ruki, arrow appears by Ruki saying “one of those people”)
Presenter: Do you ever get together at some-one’s house and play games?
Ruki: We did in the past. I don’t like – well, I don’t really play console games, but there was this one game that we all played together -
Uruha: – it was a fighting game. It was the only one he [Ruki] played…and you could play it with 5 people!
Presenter: You mean on one screen?
Uruha: Yeah, we bought all the extra parts -
Presenter: Wow!
Ruki: (to Uruha) It was 4 people.
Uruha: Oh, was it 4?
Ruki: 4 people would play and whoever lost swapped with the person waiting.
Uruha: Oh yeah (laughs) Everyone wanted to keep playing it, so no one wanted to lose!
Ruki: It was actually during the time we were recording, so whenever we had time we played that game.
Uruha: We were so addicted to it!
Ruki: Yeah. We even did it when we got home! (laughs) After recording, even though we were tired we’d have a few rounds of it.
Presenter: That’s crazy! I can’t imagine you all glued to a console game, though!
Uruha: We don’t play it anymore though.
Ruki: Not anymore. That was when we used to get along.
Uruha: EH?! (laughter)
Presenter: You get along now as well, don’t you?! (laughter)

Presenter: “A trait about yourself that you admit to and think you are best at”. Ruki wrote “I can be self-centered”.
Ruki: I think that there are parts of myself that I need to able to show, especially as the vocalist… I meant it in that way.
Presenter: Does that mean you often get into a quarrel?
Ruki: Well…*I end up having a bad experience.
[*this could be wrong, I was unable to catch what he says exactly]
Ruki: After I get angry I feel bad, so I stop talking -
Presenter: – you take a step back. Is he always like that? (to Uruha)
Uruha: Well, sort of. If he just lets out his feelings the only thing we can do is swallow and accept it. We try to see his point of view. Try to compromise.
Ruki: I don’t let my feelings out that often, though!
Uruha: (laughs)
Presenter: Ah… I can tell that you all get on very well.
Ruki: Eheh.
Uruha: Oi, what do you mean by that bitter “eheh” laugh?! (laughs)
Ruki: (laughs) That wasn’t a bitter laugh! Don’t say things like that!
Uruha: (chuckles)

Presenter: Lastly, I’d like to ask you for a message to your fans.
Ruki: Um, well…We may be a rather wilful sometimes…but we’re not bad people. So please continue to stick with us.
Uruha: Please do.

Song Review

STAY GOLD – Rentrer en Soi

My memories flicker in the glittering starlit sky
Embraced by the dreams and the sleep I’ve wished for

I send my thoughts to you,
Who is disappearing, again and again
This night that seems to be broken, is dyed in sighs

Those days were too dazzling
In the seasons that passed by brilliantly
Our guide meeting inside of fate

Don’t forget it, okay?
The meaning of the fact that
We were able to meet the smiles, the tears, the days
In which we all walked together

Since some day,
There was definitely light inside of my heart
Since the time when you were with me

The wind danced through the sky
Coloured in the days we pass through
Our guided parting
Embraced by destiny

The words I want to tell you now
Are “Thank You”, from all my heart
Because it’s due to the fact
That you were there
That I’m able to move into the future

No matter how many years pass by
The thoughts we piled up won’t lose their colour
Since we can surely meet again some day
Let’s laugh then and talk away the night with our memories

This moment now, surrounded by the holy night
Gets engraved into my memories for eternity

Don’t forget it, okay?
The meaning of the fact that
We were able to meet the smiles, the tears, the days
In which we all walked together

The words I want to tell you now
Are “Thank You”, from all my heart
Because it’s due to the fact
That you were there
That I’m able to move into the future


Choose a song of your own and using the above as your guide, write your own review! [25]


First of all, this review took me about 3-5 hours to complete. Since it’s a precious song for me and all the Rentrer en Soi fans, I want to make sure it’s perfect so it won’t hurt any of Rentrer en Soi fans. Before I start, I want to tell you that this song is a Japanese song from a band called Rentrer en Soi, just in case for those of you that is not familiar with the band. No offense by the way. *Laughs* The lyric up there is actually the translation to this song. The whole song was totally in Japanese. The song was written by their vocalist, Satsuki about 2 years ago in their last album “Ain Soph Aur” as a present to his fans. Not just that, the song is the last song that Rentrer en Soi played for their last one-man show before they disbanded.

The song was up to 7 minutes. The combination of melodious piano, drum and acoustic guitar made the song beautiful. With Satsuki beautiful vocal and lyric, the song could warm everyone heart. Looking at the lyrics, the story was about a noble man meeting a person who lighten his days and made his future. All the memories they shared is a precious treasure for both of them. But the noble man realized that someday this will come to an end. He was sure that both of them will be apart someday and when that happens, he wishes not to be forgotten for all the memories they shared together. He wants the person to remember all the “all the smiles the tears, the days” in which both of them “walk together” and for all that he says “Thank you” because of that person he was “able to move into the future”. He believes that no matter how many years passed, the memories will never fade and he also believes that they will meet again somewhere in the future. Thus, before they won’t be able to meet each other, he wants to enjoy their surroundings that is surrounded by the “Holy Night” talking and laughing about their memories and “engraved everything into” his “memories for eternity”

In reality, as I mentioned before, this song was written before the band disbanded and were performed as their last song on their last one-man show. It’s a matter of saying “Thanks” instead of “Good Bye” which would be very painful for the fans. The song was supposed to be a song that listened with smile, joy and happiness but it turned out to be the opposite due to the fact that the band performed it as the last song before they disbanded. I remember how everyone cried when the piano and Satsuki’s voice enters. Personally, the song was really beautiful and I really love it. Thanks to Satsuki and the band members, the song could warm this heart everytime thinking about the disappointing fact that Rentrer en Soi has disbanded. The memories I cherished with the band, watching them performing, enjoying their songs, laughing about the post in their blog will never be forgotten and will always STAY GOLD.

(524 words)


P/S : Just posting out of boredom :) and don't judge me for the mistake eh? this actually my GP assignment. nothing more than that. im just showing my love and care for this band :)

until then..