Lovelorn or .... ?

listening to : some random song played by moon

ahh ..

it has been a while since the day i stepped my foot on the school's ground. Despite me as the person who hates school, I kinda miss it so much.

Maybe it's because of my friends? or is it also because of that girl?

I kinda long to meet her and see that beautiful angelic face.

Anyway, i didnt expect to miss waking up in the morning, going one on one with my dad in the car in the morning silence with only us talking with the wind and then as i stepped my feet on the school's ground it's time to meet all my friends - going crazy with them.

it's such a fine morning to start with.

in school, i never think that i will miss to sit with the j-club family - playing cards, joking and lastly poking each other.

also, it's kinda sad for me to see all my juniors going to the registration class to take their attendance while me having myself sitting down on the bench of school's canteen. if I'm allowed i want to join them but it's all over for me now.

my two years life in katok is almost on its end, soon i will find my self sitting and sleeping - doing nothing on my bed. the never ending rest i longed for after these years yet it's something that i'm afraid to face.

but overall, i guess i did miss all of that.

today is the day for me to start dancing with my fingers, writing some beautiful words and shares it with the examiner in UK. I wonder if the magic fingers are still with me?

*sighs*

nonetheless, i have to do better in my exam later (:

Forever Friends

In the course of life's journey
we rub shoulders with many people,
some are warm and open,
others afraid and closed.
Some we connect with,
others come and soon are gone.
Some linger awhile,
but every now and then...
either through fate or by chance,
or because of a Higher Power...
in an unexpected moment
we are touched by a smile
that lingers in the memory.
We meet again and the more
we do the more we know
that we have met a friend,
and we'll be friends forever.
Next to God
there is no greater gift in life
than a forever-friend.
I hope that we can be such friends.

Theater Boy (:

it was in a theater

i saw this boy ..

from the first glance,

i knew he was in pain ..

lucky for him, he was an actor..

a good one that could stun everyone with his tremendous acting skills

and made everyone leave with huge appalling applause..

living in the world of theatre,

he greeted everyone

with smile ..

a joyous one that could cheer all the audience around the stage..

a comfortable smile yet disturbing..

chaotic inside but visually merry..

i wondered what made him in pain?

he was my favourite actor of all time..

he lived in a luxurious life and he made everyone happy..

but why? why was he in pain?

frustation condemned me,

and i couldnt find an answer,

i wanted to know his secret,

this secret of him was killing me

but ..

in the end, i left ..

frustrated ..

sad with curiousity engraving me ..

earlier before,

i saw a mirror ..

and a reflection of an empty theater ..

with no audience and no actor ..

i could see no body but empty seats..

lastly, i realised something..

it was the curtain ..

a closed curtain ..

Ugly Duck

she is an ugly duck,
living in the world of hatred,
and cries everyday
less jealousy in life but filled with emptiness.
with the full impression of being ugly, she stands as a social outcast.
that silent nature she possesed makes everything worse.

yet behind that hideous nature
i find her to be sweet,
inside her is a pure white heart,
a lovely one that can steal someone's attention,
mesmerises their hearts,
and grabs them without mercy
a poor innocent being with beautiful wings,
a scary nature but a wonderful one.

no eyes can see this,
only those who are chosen can see this fortune,
how lucky i am as a human,
to be able to catch a glimpse of a breath-taking sight.

chaotic.kimi

specially made for my dear love (:

she was an angel - a wingless one.

the moment she came to my life..
a sparkling bright light altered the dark sky of mine.

ahh, lovely ..

she brought hope to this world of despair..
with rain pouring endlessly from the chaotic sky..
she cleansed every tiny black bits
of my life..
killing the false utophia i long to banish..

will thou come with me? she offered.
her soft fingers held my face and gave me a stunning smile.

"it's time to end your current life and start a new one with me. i shall bring you to the heaven thou desire to see..
let us go home and you shall be my guest tonight"

.... i was left speechless but i knew if i decline this offer, i will be regretting my whole life.

she smiled and offered her hand. i smiled and walked beside her knowing the journey will be a long and yet a happy one.

i love you hana <3

Arggghhh -.-

listening to : Ryuushi Ni Tokete Nagareru Namida To Memai No Sou Ni Ranhansha Suru Saisei No Koe - Satsuki

i miss blogging. i miss writing. i miss everything in here.

currently, i have the urge to write but not knowing what to write. i miss expressing my feelings in this dark world of roses.

about five hours ago, i commented on someone's photo. i was joking about it but apparently someone(not the photo owner) barged in and said shit about me. too bad, i know this someone. a friend from friendster. she's beautiful but out of expectation she possessed this laser mouth - shooting everything without looking.

a bad breath beautiful girl. that's what i described her. i was shocked to know that actually.

i hate to talk about this actually but seriously, it's been so daamn long since the last time i met a beautiful girl with a bad mouth.

to me, this kind of girl is very damn ugly. it's not nice to see a girl that says crappy words like shit, fuck or any vulgar words.
to be honest, they look like a bitch to me.

*sighs*

anyway, i can see that i got a lot of visitors in this blog. well, they're not really a visitor but more like a spammer.

i'm pissed off..

until then..

Rain

listening to : MINORI - UVERworld

Tears, nothing but sadness..
solitude plus heartache..
cleaning the happiness around..
killing every smile to the ground..
was it because of you?
no, but also yes.
this neglection of pure love..
everything was a sacrifice..
tis' violent wind in heart..
putting the mind in chaotic state..
come rain.. come rain..
wash away all my pain..

made by chaotic.kimi

no copying please. thank you.