Hatred

listening to : bunretsu LE+DD jinkaku - rentrer en soi

i realised that i have hate a friend. that person used to be my bestfriend. someone who i hang out with, someone that i share my problem and someone that i trust.

we havent meet each other for nearly 2 years that time. after we met again, i noticed there was a few changes in his character but it didnt hurt me that much. i dont give a damn care about it though. since it didnt really affect our relationship.

but ..

ever since he broke up with his beloved girlfriend, he changed a lot. to be honest, i was jealous of his happiness because at that time i got broke up with my beloved one and remain single till this year but then it's not like that i made up a story or something that made them broke up. i was just jealous about his happiness and i wanted a happiness like him.

then i introduced him something about that pathetic EMO since he was really down and he told me he's not interested. a month after that he became that stupid emo and i taught him a few basic things that i know.

i remember that day, he once told me that he promised that he'll never have any relationship and he wanted to remain single like me. i know how hurt he was that time, so i let him do whatever he wants.

three months after that promised, a girl came. she was a friend of mine which this pathetic emo guy introduced me. the real plan was that girl was set up by him to be together with me since i was craving for happiness but he didnt know that girl secretly admired him.

not long after that, this guy got his license and his became a little different. there's something that hurts me while he accidentally did it. also, when i claimed that im the one who introduced him that pathetic life, he denied it and told me that it was himself. i know it's not a big deal but it shows how easily he forgot what his friend had done for him.

then a year after we met that girl, they became lover. the only problem was they were happy for only one month. this is because of his promise and he didnt really have any feelings for her. i told him that feelings will grow slowly, be patient. a week after i said that he started to love her but only for a short time because that girl lied to him about something.

to make it short, their real relationship only last for three months. till now these couple is still together only by name not by feelings. this is because that stupid girl didnt want to let him go and strangled him with threat. ever since then, he became the stranger!

yeah, we're still friend but not bestfriend. this year is the year that im starting to hate him. back to the story, i dont know how long they've been together but then there was a time, somewhere around january this year, im starting to flirt with girls after a year being single. i told him to do the same but he refused earlier saying that he didnt have any confident about himself. then i told him to not care about himself as long as he can talk with girls and make them laugh, appearance is nothing.

so yeah, after 3 months flirting with girls, i stopped and took the chance to proposed one girl. she's my current girlfriend ^_^. he was jealous of my happiness and started to do what i told him back then. he started to flirt and i persuaded him to do this and that. it was a success.

he forgot his miseries and he forgot ... ME! he changed and he change! remember the post about him leaving me behind just to be with girls? mahn! it sucks y'know. fuck that! now, he became real close with the person i once admire and i hate that in some way. he seeks for girls attention and more. he even being rude to me in someway. all of this pisses me off. bullcrap! just now i read his status saying "STOP STALKING ME YOU BITCH, I HAVE MY OWN LIFE" it's like he's telling everyone that he's fucking cute. and to me he's seeking for people's attention. damn it! i hate this kind of person..

*sigh* i dont know why. did he do something wrong? i mean when i look real close he did nothing wrong. he was just doing his thing. i guess this is because of the strong hatred and jealousy within this chaotic heart. should i blame him? or myself?

*sigh*

until then..