if only things flow as i want'em to be..

*sigh*

i've just finished reading my old post. it was my post from january. i was so stubborn to click on the link and now i pay for the consequences.

again,just like before. those stupid past came back to me. playing back all of those bittersweet memories in my head like some sort of cinema, movie or something. i tried hard to forget everything but now it easily break into my mind like ... i dont know how to explain but i know for sure by remembering the past,the tears will never stop from falling. i know it. look at me now,so pitiful,sad. i feel sorry for my self. in fact,sometimes i hate being me. i hate to have a life like this. everything didnt flow as it should be.

sometimes i wondered why did god gave me such life. why am i being tested like this. but it's all useless since there is no answers to my question..

now let me cry my self till dawn..pathetic me..

*sigh*

until then..