voice of regret

i was in tears. in my hand was a picture of me and him. comparing to my life now,it is more enjoyable to be with him. i remembered the time when we had our first kiss,he hold me tight and touched my lips gently. the heat that he brought to me was a sense of the feeling of love within our relationship. i also remember that he always spent most of his time chattering with me rather than gaming or anything that any of boys would do. yea, i admit he often makes me bored before but now i've been missing his laughter,jokes and his annoying attitude,sometimes the repeated question he used to asked me. which make me feel that i want to be with him again.

looking at his life now,it's more better for him to stay like that. i'd been making his life so miserable even after the day i left him. the misery and pain that he feel reminds me of the guilt that i've done to him. i wondered how he struggled so hard to keep our love alive for more than a year. his eagerness for a long last relationship amazed me,even after all the thing i'd done that have crushed his heart into pieces. i know he's so broken now but yet he's pretending to be happy. his laughter and smile is so warm that it could makes people believed that it really is true.

i know that im wrong but yet i still blamed him for the cause of our break up.

"sarah why did you do this to me? why did you leave me? how could you? i love you so much. i've never done anything wrong to hurt you. pls dont leave me. im begging you please"

the sad last word i'd ever heard from him. i remember how he plead me for symphathy, for me to think twice for what im going to do and yet i still ignored him.

*sigh*

remembering all the bad things that i'd done,im so ashamed to say the word 'sorry'. im so sorry daniel,im really sorry. i wish u could ever heard me said this but i will never ever say it to you. for now let all the things happen as it be. ill be sure to get along with you as a friend sometimes. i know that you'll never ever forgive me for what i've done but that doesnt matter. in order to redeem my guilt ill try everything to redeem it..

until then..