a start of a new book

gloomy,dark,silent and mysteries. those four words were killed by two people today. i was so down these two days. i believe that all my friends wondered and worried about me. all of a sudden,im being like that without reason. actually there is one,but nahh,ill tell ya later. im really sorry guys. i know it was wrong for me to did that. i need to think and soothe my mind that were in a state of chaos.

i hate to admit this but to be honest i am so broken after yus informed me that 'kim' already have a boyfriend. im not upset because she was owned,im sad because of ... *sigh* should i told u guys about this..? i guess yes,i need to express everything now.

first time i saw 'kim',her face remind me of my noty. she has nearly the same face as my noty. it was really painful for me to see her face at first,it's like she keep on reminds me about my past while im trying to forget it. but then day by day,i learn to know that she is 'kim',not my noty. also i cant resist her beauty,and i adore'em at the same time which make me got a crush on her.

after i knew that i had a feeling on her,i made one objective. it's to make my self fall in love with her,so i could forget my long lost past. unfortunately,after i knew that she was already owned by someone,my heart start to bleed as if there was a spear shoot right to the center where the heart pumps itself. it does kill me,and my mission fail before it starts. i cannot forget my noty. my plan to forget the one i loved and fall in love with her was complete failure. it was like there is no hope for me and it was like all the images of my noty were back in place telling me that i could never ever forget her and replace her with another girl even the girl is worthed to replace her position. i guess i was wrong in everything,i shouldnt made yus to asked kim's status.

anyway,to fellow mate,dont worry. ill try to build my self and put all my strength back together. also congrats ms. smiley and young jay or should i say young GAY! xD haha for making my day. you guys did well on trying to make me smile. i thought it'll be forever for me to be in that state. thanks! also to ms. cherry,our vice president of guitar club,i enjoyed our moment sharing about our social stuff. thanks! ;D

i just hope as my eyes open after today,i could see and open the door of the world.