love in a .... ? i dont know..

it was at school but i'm not sure that the area is the same as my present school. i remember that the area was more like my previous high school.

i was talking to my e'as' friends about something. a group discussion if i'm not mistaken. just for your info, i was more closer with her and her bestfriend. well, you guys know who's the 'her' right?

anyway move on back to the story, as soon as we finished doing that study group thingy, she and her bestfriend had a walk with me around the school. but after a moment, her bestfriend had to leave under certain circumstances. i dont know why, i'm not so sure about it but somehow i got this feelings. she left because she wanted us to have a little time alone together. it appeared that her bestfriend knew about my feelings for her.

okay, so both of us were left alone eh? hmm. this will be a hard time for me. huh~both of us were silent for a very looongg moment until she broke the silence shooting me questions.

'umm hey zan,arent your girl gonna to be mad if she sees the both of us walking together?'

'no'

'really? why?'

'because i have no girlfriend'

'dont tell me inoy is not ur girlfriend'

'inoy? hahs. she's like a sister to me'

'oh i see. so you're saying that you're single now ryt?'

'yeah, how about ya? dont tell me you dont have a boyfriend? you're beautiful ***' note : '***' is her name (:

'i used to have one but not anymore. we broke up about a month ago'

'REALLY!?' in an excited voice. 'err.. i mean i feel sorry to hear that,why did you guys broke up?'

'it's because i have my eyes on this one guy. also my boyfriend cheated on me at the same time. so i decided to just let it go'

'oh. your ex-boyfriend must be a stupid person' she laughed when i said this. 'anyway u said that u're interested in one guy right? i wonder who is dat lucky guy? hmm, arent ya gonna tell him? i mean before he's taken..'

'i dont know zan,im afraid that he'll never accepts me. i like him but it's just ... '

'you're not sure ryt? i know how it feels ***. me too,i had those kind of feelings once and it's still here with me. as for me, i always did that and im still doing it. by the time that girl is owned, i cry like hell and curse myself because of it. just tell him that u like him *** before u lose ur chance. i bet he will accepts you because you see, no one can resist your beauty ***'

'how about if i say that lucky person is the person who walks beside me now. i mean you're the person i like zan. dont you realise it? i always looked at you. both of us always got an eye contact as if they were a magnet that attracts each other. i tend to be alone while you were there - near me, just to give you the space for you to fill. so zan,r u understand now how i feel about you?'

yes! i understand now baby. i love you too.. *sigh* it's such a shame that i was speechless at that moment. i wish i could tell her. i want to tell her that i feel the same way at her. why? why cant i speak in that dream. even it's just a dream. for me it's worthed to tell her how i feel about her. slowly and inevitably the vision between me and her is fading and that dream is gone forever. i hope that dream will come again.

*sigh*

she didnt came to school today. i misses her so much. i hope u'll be there at your usual place sitting there doing ur work or talk with ur friends and laugh while ur shoulders are up, ur teeth were shown and ur korean eyes is half-closed. i love to see your face sweetheart. please do come to school tomorrow sweetheart. i longed for that beautiful nature.

until then.