left behind..

music : reminiscence ~ feelings not erased - yasunori mitsuda

*sighs*

how does it feels when you're left behind by your friends? it feels hurt right? how about the one that left you behind is your own bestfriend? i bet it's more painful.

i was left behind by some stranger today and guess what? he left me behind because some stupid lame fucking reason which i dont give a damn! girls... do you believe that? he DITCHED me BECAUSE of GIRLS. such one stupid reason..

here's the story.

while i was busy doing something yesterday, i got a call by non other than some random guy whom i forgot his name. he's such a nice guy, so he invited me to watch a movie today with his GIRLFRIENDS (ooooo~ ladies man kaliah! mcm baie! sasak ku kn kau ah! eat shit mothafaka!).. okay, back to the story. so he invited me to watch a movie but he wont be able to pick me up like usual because his car will be full with his GIRLFRIENDS. so he asked me if my mom could sent me there or not. he told to confirm it as soon as possible, so that he'll buy a ticket for me.. awhhh~ he's so nice..

NOT!!

okay, after i told my mom about it. she agreed to send me there. i was so happy that it made me call him straight away. so then i called him and .. the first call was unanswered. i called him again and this time he picked it up. i told him that my mom will be able to send me there and sadly the bad news was he did not buy me a ticket because he's worried that i wont be able to come.

NOT!

he's not worried at all, that's what he wants! i tried to accept his reason with positive thoughts although i felt a little sad that time. haha and then suddenly, he gave me this hope. he told me that there's one girl who's not confirm whether she could come or not. this is due to transportation which basically the same as my case. if she could or couldnt come, he'll told me about it as soon as possible.

but then his name didnt even appear in the screen of my phone after that call. it left me with despair. it's not because of im not able to watch that stupid movie but it's because how he treated me as his own fucking BESTFRIEND!

1st he gave me a call just to show off that he's going out with 12 girls
2nd he cant be my transport because of GIRLS!
3rd he rather chose girls instead of bestfriend..
4th he rather buy one girl a ticket who's isnt confirm instead of his bestfriend
5th he didnt even told me about the confirmation

I HATE IT WHEN A PERSON CHOSE A GIRL INSTEAD OF HIS BESTFRIEND WITH A REASON TO PLEASE. ALL I WANT TO SAY IS ....

"SADAR - SADAR TAH WANG, ALUM TANTU JUA BINI-BINI ATU SUKA KAN KAU, JGN JADI BUDUH, PALUI! PUSSYMA!"

the good news was one of the girls wasnt able to come because of sudden emergency. so then the ticket was a waste! haha! (Padan mua mu baie! the girl yg alum confirm atu i think dtg kali, and the one yg nda jadi tdi ani, kwn ku sorang. she's pretty yaw, bgus lah ea inda dtg haha! puas ati ku eh)

p/s : this post is between what happened yesterday, saturday and today, friday. sorry if there's some grammar mistakes, i was too mad at this stupid stranger!

until then

dreams

music : reminiscence ~ feelings not erased - yasunori mitsuda

it's been a while since the last time i dream about her. this probably because i missed her too much. i dont even know why i miss her. i mean i get to meet her everyday, seeing her in class, watching every of her motions but it seems not enough. maybe it's because i was nagged by the feeling of wanting to talk with her, have a nice chit chat while enjoying those angelic face. unlike before, im not able to say hi and bye to her, watching her smiles, her pink cheeks and everything like before.

*sigh* i miss that moment..

but ..

although we're not as "close" as before, im satisfied that angel is still looking at me. okay, i talked a lot. the point i want to say here is last night i dreamt about meeting her but this time with vivi.

we were in some sort of airplane and she was having a chat with vivi. they were talking so loud that i could hear every single words they say. of course as a dream i didnt remember everything except the event. viv was teasing kayme about something while their eyes were looking at me. feeling so shy, kayme teased vivi back telling how 'tomboy' she is. while at the same time, i approached them and get to have a nice conversation with them. what's so sweet was vivi left both of us alone. kayme and i teased each other about something. the only thing i remember is we were teasing about our cooking skills. *grins* i know it's silly but that's how the scene ends. we were helping each other in cooking as if we're a married couple..

hehs..

unfortunately, it's all just a matter of dream. it cant be a reality and it will never be. okay, ill stop till here. im having a class now ..

and i shall meet her after this (:

until then..

Failure -.-'

Hey

Just a brief update here (:

Okay,

I did told you guys that I quit smoking right? well, it's a failure. I tried my best to quit but I can't. Well, the good thing is I'm not a heavy one but a passive one (: I'm still trying to quit. It has been 3 days since the day I announced that I quit smoking now. One smoke per day, that's my limit. Hope I can get rid of it soon (:

Wish me luck! ^_^

Until then..

Cancer Stick

venue : dining hall of ptek
music : joukei no kanata - danger gang

i've been wanting to do this since the second day i started sucking those poisonous gas. flicking through every page of my memories, i realised why did i start playing with those cancer stick again. it's all because of those two stupid 'kibyan' girls.

*sigh*

i had enough telling some worthless story about them. not only they're worthless, they're also wasting my time. ever since that day, i swear to sky to try to avoid those stupid 'kibyan' people. to me, their presence can only bring misery. it's better for me to off alone rather than being with them.

okay, enough talk. the point i want to make here is that i started smoking due to the stressful situation because that stupid 'kibyan' girl reminded me of my stupid ex! another point is i quit playing with those stick after having my last one last midnight. this is because of the wish i made before.

"i'll only quit if i have a girlfriend"

i maybe say that but actually i wish for it. now, it's been nearly 3 weeks since the first time i proposed my farhana. after 3 weeks, i got the heart to move on and do what i said.

i, kimi kiyoshi hereby announced that i quit smoking! (: it's not permanent though. no promises x(

until then..

Old Grudge

Holla ..

Hey, I miss posting something in this blog. Anyway, it's just a brief update. Maybe haha!

Yesterday, I met one of my enemy at PTEK while I was smoking at my usual place where smokers usually gathers. He's my old enemy actually. Well, it's all because of noty. You guys know how she is right? She loves to have more than one relationship at a time. Thank god she realised now that it's wrong to do something like that.

Okay back to my story, I dont think I want to mention his name here but yeah, he asked my name first then he told me that maybe I know him. Honestly I didnt even recognize his face nor his voice until he mentioned noty's name. After he introduced me himself, he went off.

The point I want to make here is that it feels good to know that old grudge is forgotten now. I remember how both of us used to fight because of her. I know it's stupid but yeah, that shows how immature we were before. I hope there's no sense of hatred any more and we would able to become friends instead of enemies.

Okay, that's all

Until then..

Anything That You Guys Missed About Me .. (:

Hey..

It's been a while now since my last post. I know it's must be disappointing for those who kept on checking my page for an update although I think I don't have one. Hehs! Honestly, I kept on checking my blog every single time I open my laptop, it's just I'm too lazy to write anything.

Okay, here you go my dear viewers (:

First thing I wanna share with you guys is the fact that I'm not a loner anymore. YEAY! hehe. I proposed one girl last week on 29th March. The sweet thing was I proposed her during her birthday which I thought it was supposed to be her greatest present. Maybe ;p hehe I just love to create some special moment.

Second news is I discovered some new v-kei band for me to follow which is D and El Ethic Legist xD Their music is really good, I mean it! ;D

Third thing is a news about my feelings. All you guys know how much I love that Korean girl in my school right? I tried to forget her since I have my own girlfriend to think about but it seems that the more I try to forget her the more I fall in love with her. I just can't get her out from my mind. Aki told me that it's normal for guys to feel that, there's nothing wrong with it and I agreed with him but seriously I feel really guilty for my baby. I don't think that it's fair for her. It's like I'm betraying her love. That's what I think actually. Okay, stop about this. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I think it's the best if I just go with the flow. (:

Fourth news : hmm, okay. Maybe most of my friends realised that I'm smoking those cancer sticks already. I just hope they don't look me in a different way than before. I know it's bad for health but I cant stop it anymore. I think I already addicted to it but I know sometime in this year, I'll be stopping sucking those poisonous gas.

Last news is about my studies. AS'level is near now. It'll start somewhere around May. I don't really need to be specific here. Not to forget about O'lvl too, I'm going to have my 4th time sitting for English O'lvl. It's not that my English skill is not very good, I'm just trying to upgrade my English grade from C to A. I really put too much hope on this (Amin!) Okay, back to my studies, I told ya that my AS'level examination is coming right? The worst thing is I haven't prepared anything for it even for my second MPR. I'm such a lazy ass *sigh* I'll try to change but not that fast. I'll be changing gradually without anyone notices it (:

Okay guys, that's all I think you need to know about me for now.. I'll try to update more okay? No promises about it. Wish me a good luck for my coming exams and not to forget my love life (: Take care fellas, I Love You

Hana-Kimi <3

Until then...