It's hard to say goodbye..

current music : v.e - ayu

what happened today?

nothing much. it's just that our english 'as' class is disbanded. so we have to move to GP express class. it sure was a sad moment for everyone especially me. why??

it's because of kayme. she and me are going to be seperated since she already got GP for her block 4. so it means that my only chance to stare and watch her beauty is only in my registration class. a disappointing fact i guess. *sigh* im sure gonna miss that girl.

but ..

there's but for this okay? dont get sad for me. there's 50% that both of us are still going to be together in GP. a friend told me that she had talked to the teacher that she wanted to drop her GP and take GP express with us. i bet it's because of vivi. vivi forced her to stay with us. i also noticed that she turned her head at my direction quite a few times as if she was figuring my reaction about. heheh i deliberately gave her a sad expression for her to know that im sad being seperated with her.

well, im not that sure if she really was looking at me but it's just im stating what i feel here (:

kayme, your beauty is the sun for my world. i love you sweetheart. thanks for trying to stay (:

"even if you're not allowed to drop your GP block 4 and you have to be there instead of being with us on GP express. it's still okay for me since i know how hard you want to be with us. thanks kayme. i love you.."

until then..

Sweet Kayme (:

hey..

i got home early today. i think about 10.50 am.. mahn, it was such a pain in the ass.. i have to meet that stupid tamin and brought my mother to see him in order to go home and because of that i got free lecture by my mom.. 'thanks' mom and fuck you tamin..

after i got home, i have to do all the chores left by my family. so there i go : doing the clothes, washing dishes, cleaning all the dust and more.. i was so tired. so i decided to rest my self on my comfy roses.

while trying to closed my eyes, i was thinking about kayme. she was so beautiful as always this morning. i got the thoughts of proposing her and how we'll be going together laughing and sharing love. then out of nowhere i realised that i was still in school. in my amazement i found myself on the rooftop of the school enjoying the beautiful scenery and the surprising 'cold' air.. my school uniform was awfully wet..

"you sure sweat a lot there"

i turned my head and have my lips carved the smile for the voice. it was kayme. to be honest, i was shocked by her sudden appearance. she approached me and pulled something from her pocket. she offered me her handkerchief. i was strucked by her action. realising that im not going to do anything, she wiped the sweat on my face and smiled. i couldnt do anything but gave her the same favour..

"it's hot up here, let us go down shall we?"

that time, i couldnt do or say anything but obey what she wants. her angelic expression is one thing that ill treasure for my whole life. we spent our evening walking around the school enjoying all the funny face expression from others. what's more, it seemed that we've known each other for a very long time. finally, after walking around the school she dragged me into one empty classroom. i didnt expect anything at first but then when she came near me, i now realised that she deliberately brought me around the school to checked the surroundings. by the time she came near me, my heart felt like having a non-stop earthquake and i found that her face was getting closer to mine. i made my decision to kiss her and propose after that. as the heat rises, i heard the door was knocked hardly. i rose up fast and opened the door only to find my brother asking me to get all the clothes i washed earlier. i turned back and found myself back in my room. dammit! it was only a dream..

*sigh*

i thought it was freaking real. oh well, maybe i was too excited because i get to say bye to her this morning. overall, i still found out that this heart is for her and only her. i love you beauty.. (:

until then..

Hope

current music :: only human by K (one liter of tears ending theme song)

hey it's 3.06 am on the 1.1.2010.. haha guess what? i couldnt sleep.. -.-' i've finished bbq-ing with family about 2 hours ago.. it was an awesome night.. i didnt do much but i had fun with all the family members..

right now, im just sitting alone at my verandah while hearing the song i mentioned above on repeat.. i still could hear people playing firework this morning.. i guess people are really enjoying their time before school re-open.. i miss school already but the holiday is about to end.. to be honest, i cant really describe my feelings right now. i wanted to go to school that bad but i dont want this holiday to end.. seriously, time sure flies. i cant believe we're in 2010 now.. it's time for most of people especially me to move on now.. forget all the bitter-sweet memories and start the beginning of the new era.. i wonder if i could do that..

for real, i really want to drop my tears but i cant stop smiling at the same time.. i dont know why that happens but .. *sigh* i could put it in words how sad and happy i am to leave 2009.. this will be my third year with my N.E.R.D.S.. i really hope that this bond will stay strong..

one more, i've found a key that will unlock my long time locked heart.. but im not really sure if it's love.. i met her last week and then i started to miss her.. and i met her again yesterday when i was helping my aunt to buy a cake.. the time i saw her, my heart was beating so fast.. as if im not the one who control my body.. i was stunned.. i tried to act cool by pretending that i didnt see her.. but by the time she saw me and waved hi to me, i couldnt help but smiled happily.. i dont know but i think she and me cant be nothing more than just a friend.. i really wish we could be more than that but she seems to have no interest in me.. being friends is also okay i think..

maybe..

i just hope i will not get too excited or ill get hurt in the future..

okay, guys.. ill stop here for now..

see yaa..

until then..