welcome and fuck off

listening to : in a lucid dream - satsuki

im feeling so lazy tonight and a little moody..

hmm..



welcome to my new visitor..

it's great to know that someone actually found my blog but i dont really appreciate it so much because some people would criticized what i wrote here. especially when they came here without introducing themselves and start saying shit about me and all my writings.

what's more fuck up is when they're criticizing my feelings. i mean come on, it's people rights to express their feelings. what im saying here is try to understand what people feels and not giving some freaking advice like you're telling that you fucking know everything about me.

i know what im doing. im just saying what my heart feels, im releasing the steam off, get it? i hate it when people saying " how in the hell do you know that she's looking at you? ". it's because i saw it dumbass.

i dont care whether i got her or not, i dont care whether she love me or not, i dont care what she's doing or how she feels about me.

i've been mentioning this all the time and im sick of explaining this again and again to some stupid ignorant bastard who keeps stalking people's life. i know that im not going to get her or have her to be my girlfriend. both of us are totally in a different world, we will never be together. why? both of us have different races and different background. second, she has a boyfriend and they've been together for more than 5 years. i dont want to be called ' a girlfriend stealer '. it's not like im saying that i cant or i can flirt with her anytime that i want. you need to know that i have my own girlfriend and i love her. what? i should dump my girlfriend and go for something that you dont know whether you're gonna get or not? that's stupid.

i know you'll have this in your mind. kimi is a hypocritical person who only thinks about himself. fuck your own shit man! let me tell you something, love is not all about having them nor being with them. it's beautiful to see someone is willing to suffer just to see their beloved one happy.

im not saying that im suffering. im okay with the things going on right now. you people need to know that my love to her and my girlfriend is totally different. my love to her is like me loving the nature. how i enjoy being in the green field and looking at the wonderful blue sky, that's how i love her. i dont need to be with her. to see her is already enough for me okay?
as long as she's happy, im fine.

my love towards my girlfriend is more like the typical love that you or someone else have. "i need her. i want her. i miss her. i love her like she's only woman in this world." that's how much i love my girlfriend.

i dont care whether you understand me or not. that's your fucking business and i dont need people to understand me. no one in this world understand me fully. im a complicated guy. my thoughts are something you bastard cannot read and predict. so stop saying something like you know me. i hate that motherfucker.

i bet you ignorant fools didnt read the description about me on the right side of my blog. that's why you bullshit is still giving me comments and advice about what i wrote here.

so if you hate what i wrote in this blog, you can go to hell and visit some crappy blog that you think you can mess with.

just so you know, this blog is what i called my public 'diary'. i can write whatever i want and say whatever i want in here. im pretending that you guys cant even read what i write here because it's "locked". so if you people gave me some comments that i dont want to see, ill just simply write my response for you.

and my final words for you "mind your own stupid business bullshit, get your own blog and write some of your own shit there. get a fucking life and stop being a busybody"

until then..

The Rose Blooms, The Bug Dies

listening to : Ushinawareta Fuukei No Yume by Rentrer en Soi

" happy 20th birthday, kayme! "

how i wish i could say that to her this morning. it was so hard for me to imagine my self doing that. i didnt even buy her a present for her 20th birthday. besides, it would be very awkward if i bought her a present out of a sudden. we didnt even say hi to each other for almost 6 months. just imagine how awkward it would be if i gave her a present?

nothing is easy in life, i know that. i wonder if she's expecting me to greet her. well, she didnt look much at me today. early in the morning when she passed by me, she quickly turned her face to the floor. before that she was smiling happily but it seemed that i broke all of that when she saw me. *sigh*

in the end gp class, she stole a few glances at my direction. i dont know why. then during lunch, i was supposed to have a meeting in the library with my team mates for tomorrow's match. in the library, i saw her studying and talking with her friends including vivi. i stopped for a while to look at her and then i went to meet my team mates.

but the meeting was cancelled. so i went out to the dining hall to meet wafy and have a smoke together. before we went out from the school for a smoke, i saw her and this time she didnt noticed me as she was busy talking with vivi.

after finished smoking, i went straight to my literature class. funny, i met her again at the notice board area with a group of friends but this time i realised her eyes was carefully watching me. she gave me this look as if she was disappointed because she was expecting a greet from me. im really sorry sweetheart. o~o

im just saying here. who knows right? i hope she didnt expect me to greet her because i dont want to disappoint her. actually, i met her a lot more than i stated above but it would be boring if i keep on saying the same thing in a row. it's very unlikely for me to meet her many times in a day unless im searching for her, that would be a different case. i hope she'll always be happy with her beloved ones.

happy birthday sweetheart..

i love you..

until then..

Lovely Eyes

listening to : minori - UVERworld

"let me see those eyes again sweetheart"

that was my facebook status last saturday morning. it was for kayme. i really miss that beautiful eyes staring at this poor soul.

that lovely rose really got my heart and still grabbing me tight. too bad our relationship is just a matter of saying 'hi' and 'bye' but that never concerns me, for my love towards her is true.

to me, watching her from distance is far more enough than having her. i know i dont deserve a girl like her. she's way too beautiful for me. you can say that our love life is like beauty and the beast. too bad the outcome is not the same as the story. nonetheless, i dont mind if i cant have her. love needs sacrifice, i know some people would say "take your chance man" but to me, love is not all being together and be happy. love is something we should enjoy seeing the person we love being able to smile and happy. if they're happy with the person that's currently with them, let them. there's no need for us to interfere.

alas, that saturday afternoon we had small party in our gp class. thanks to miss zari, she bought us 4 boxes of pizza for the entire class to eat. kayme and i ate two slices. i enjoyed watching her eating the pizza slowly. as always, that beautiful soul managed to steal my heart.

to make the story short, after the party ended i grabbed my bag to go home. as i always did before leaving the class, i will look upon her when i have chance and say bye to her silently. before leaving the class, i noticed her eyes were carefully watching me leaving her in the class with vivi.

i know it's not something big or something to proud about but it does make me happy. why? it has been a while since the last time she gave me the attention i need. she always avoided a direct eye contact with me which really frustrates me but i cannot force her to do that. it's her rights.

another moment that i want to write here is the moment where i got punished by miss zari for not being able to participate in a mythological quiz. i had to do some dance with a korean song and this really pissed me off. you know how much i hate korean songs right? the choice of song was made by winnie and it was "nobody but you" song. believe it or not i danced with the other group members and humilliate my self with an ugly dance. i know it sucks but it's worthed. if it's not because of kayme and the whole class sang that song together, i would be regretting my whole life doing that humilliating dance. i still remember the face she made that time while her right hand doing the "nobody but you" thing. it was lovely. ^^,

okay back to story, after leaving the class, i hopped in my dad's car. while on the way home i kept looking at the sky. i remember that afternoon was very cloudy, such a beautiful day but the beauty was not long as the black clouds starting to conquer the whole sky.

somehow, it reminded me the day where both of us were facing each other in school. the rainy day in katok. she was standing near me and kept looking at me as if she was saying "come to me, embrace me with thy words and seal this broken heart. im waiting". too bad, both of us only able to stare at each other till our dad came and picked us up.

*sighs*

i will regret that for my whole life. i didnt take my chance. i know, i suck. oh well, i guess our love is just a matter of looking each other and being together by distance.

the storms striked and broke my concentration. i realised that rain was pouring softly to the ground. after i reached home and put all my stuffs in my room. i took my chances opening the internet using my phone and update my facebook status to end my day.

"im glad that those eyes are still mine. i love you sweetheart"

until then..

REGULUS

listening to : -LEON-'s REGULUS

i believe the intention from this mini-album is to show yuji's capability of being a singer. a lot of scream, growl and high pitch vocal was shown in their 3 songs.

as what i found in the interview, yuji's music influence is dir en grey. so i guess, probably he's trying to be the next kyo.. it's interesting as yuji seems capable to reach kyo's level. i hope he'll keep improving xD

so, 3 vocalist now : Satsuki, Kyo and Yuji..

and i love the three of them..

until then.. xD

Interview with -LEON-

Okay, I got new band to follow..



1. Please introduce yourselves and what part you play in the band.
YUJI: I’m YUJI, the vocals.
SHIN: I’m SHIN, the guitar.
KOYA: I’m KOYA, the guitar.
YAMATO: I’m YAMATO, the bass.
MASASHI: I’m MASASHI, the drums.



2. How did each of you get interested in performing music?
YUJI: I became interested in music because my older brother was playing the guitar.
SHIN: I became interested in music as I was mimicking my older sister’s piano when I was small.
KOYA: My dad was a crazy fan of Eikichi Yazawa… (laughs)
YAMATO: I don’t know… because I don’t have memory of my childhood!
MASASHI: I saw X JAPAN on TV a long time ago, and I thought this is it for me.




3. How did you decide on the name -LEON-? What’s the concept behind the band?
SHIN: We were trying to come up with a band name while we were having lunch at McDonald’s. The topic went off to the movie “Leon” and we were like “If we like Leon so much, the band name can be Leon!” Well, it was a spur of the moment. (laughs)
YUJI: We were talking about the anime by Osamu Tezuka, “Kimba the White Lion,” being re-aired on TV… wait, we went off the topic again, right? (laughs)
YAMATO: We’re still trying to discover the concept behind the band.



4. Please tell us how the band was formed? How did you meet?
YAMATO: I was in the same band with the guitarist, SHIN, since high school.
YUJI: Later on, I met the two through my friend and we started playing together.
KOYA & MASASHI: We were invited right before our former band broke up… What do you call that in English? “Headhunting?” (laughs)



5. Why did you decide to become a visual kei band?
ALL: Visual kei people are all handsome and pretty, right? So we thought we’d be popular among girls!



6. “REGULUS” was your first mini-album release. What was it like working on this project?
YUJI: We were all students and didn’t have money. So we tried to do everything ourselves when we started making this album. It was really hard because we were running out of time because of school or work. (laughs) But, we’re happy to complete this album thanks to help from many people.



7. Was there a specific theme behind “REGULUS?” Do you have a certain message that you would like to communicate through your music?
YAMATO: The main idea was to create a point of origin for us. We recorded the main tracks we’ve been performing since our first live shows. The CD is filled with what we want to express and what we want to deliver. When you listen to this CD, you will know -LEON-’s sound and message. This CD is like our business card.



8. What new songs are you working on now? When will they be released?
SHIN: It’s still not at a point where we can tell you the details, but it will be a track with a completely different feel than our previous release. We will update you as soon as we can.



9. Who are your musical influences? (Japanese and worldwide)
YUJI: Dir en grey for me.
SHIN: For me, Mötley Crüe and Pantera, for sure. For Japanese, Kuroyume and ZIGGY.
KOYA: It’s GLAY.
YAMATO: L’Arc〜en〜Ciel and Stanley Clarke.
MASASHI: X JAPAN and IRON MAIDEN.



10. How did you decide the style of your PV for “Kokou ni Tou Tsuioku no Kagen no Tsuki”?
KOYA: Again, we didn’t have much money, so we checked our wallets. (laughs)
MASASHI: It was all about how we can make it with low cost. (laughs)
KOYA: How poor are we…



11. How do you prepare before a live show? What’s the first thing you do after the show is over?
ALL: “BEER!” (laughs)
YAMATO: I meditate in the restroom right before the performance. (laughs)
SHIN: I find all the picks from the stage floor. It’s like “a ritual” for me. (laughs)



12. Can you please tell us something cool or funny that another member has done during a live performance?
YUJI: SHIN, didn’t you break a bone turning the guitar around during a live before?
SHIN: … It was super painful. I couldn’t even think about the live when the bone was broken at the first song. (laughs)
YAMATO: Cool. (laughs)
SHIN: YAMATO injured a guest after kicking the monitor down during a live, too. (laughs)
YAMATO: …I remember that now! (laughs)



13. Outside of music, what special talents or hobbies do you each have?
YUJI: Basketball for me. I was the top player since the first grade during high school.
SHIN: Cooking. I’m better at handling knives and frying pans than guitars. (laughs)
KOYA: Riding a motorcycle!
YAMATO: Playing darts. I can’t win a girl’s heart, though. (laughs)
MASASHI: Games…and manga.



14. Have any of the members traveled overseas? If so, where? Where would each of you like to travel next?
YAMATO: Is it only me who has been overseas? I’ve been to Australia and Thailand. In both Australia and Thailand, all I did was eating. I don’t really have memory of anything else. I just love to eat. (laughs) I was so surprised because a coke was gigantic at McDonald’s in Australia. (laughs)
MASASHI: I want to go to the moon.
ALL: That’s not even within the Earth! (Big laughter)
SHIN: I’d like to take a long time and travel around the world to study cooking. This is my long-term dream.
KOYA: I just want to ride a chopper on Route 66!
YUJI: Where is Route 66?
KOYA: …don’t know. (laughs) And, what about you, YUJI?
YUJI: Okinawa!!
ALL: That’s in Japan! (Big laughter)



15. Please give a message to our readers.
MASASHI: We might go to your country someday. Please tell me about good games when I go. (laughs)
YAMATO: This interview was a lot of fun. We will be having live shows in many places, and I hope we can all enjoy music together. Through music, I’d like to meet many people regardless of countries and races.
KOYA: I will show you the real power of Japanese music!
SHIN: Thanks to the internet, people from different countries can listen to our music, get to know us, and watch our live videos. But, there are many things that cannot be delivered through videos on monitors or through speakers. Soon, I want to perform in the countries of the people who are reading this, so please keep an eye on us!
YUJI: Someday I will show our live performances for the readers outside Japan. Wait for it!

P/S : Thanks to ST.net for introducing this cool band.. Most of the CREDITS should be given to ST.net (:

Boredom

listening to : nothing

hello?

im really bored right now. i got nothing to do rather than playing my mobile phone. by the way, im in my mom's office right now. my mom is having an overtime work. i asked her to picked me up at school since my dad is lazy to come and pick me up at school. so yeah, i ended up fooling around in my mom's office.

*sigh*

hmm, im bored hereeeeeeeeeee >.
know what? this morning, i was planning on continuing my chaos legion as soon as i finish rehearsal this afternoon. but i guess, i have to wait then..

*sigh*

borrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!!!! thanks dad.. pfffffft~

until then..

A Morning of Nature

listening to : reminiscence~feelings not erased by yasunori mitsuda

the morning is quite lovely today. even the weather is quite pleasing although my face is directly infront of the sun.

im just relaxing now at the place where i dont think people will come around every morning. haha i guess im wrong, i met a few people who i recognize so much.

anyway, i dont really mind. they dont bother me at all. i know some people love to watch the sky and do their own work.. it's relaxing..

ahh, i love to see the blue sky combining their beauty with the green grass. i love the heat. i love to listen to the sound of the chirping birds. i really love nature..

kayme & hana .. <3

until then..